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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 618210" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I used to consciously go after my anger. It is better to deal with it if you can than try to function around it. I would run until I cried (never took very long, either) or pound a pillow until I could bring it up. </p><p></p><p>I haven't done those things in a long time. I worked at one of those little island art galleries yesterday afternoon. As the time there passed, I realized I was feeling happier and happier. It has been so long since I have been away from what is happening at home that I actually forgot what it IS to feel happy. </p><p></p><p>It was the craziest thing, to realize that. To realize not sad (or even, not overwhelmingly sad) is a good day for me.</p><p></p><p>I've been asked to help again in February. I am going to note whether the same thing happens. It was so funny. As the time wore on, as I spent more and more hours and minutes interacting with people who were happy, surrounded by color and incredible things to see, I could actually feel my mood lift.</p><p></p><p>I thought I was doing so well! </p><p></p><p>This is all so impossibly hard. MWM posted today about the difference in 36. She sounded so happy and grateful and surprised, pleased and calm and...I remembered MWM's suffering over 36. And all of our suffering, here. How we try so hard to know how to cope with kids who just aren't right, how hard we try to put positive spins on heartbreaking, spirit-devouring things, how we try to fight our own feelings of depression or anger or powerlessness or hopelessness. </p><p></p><p>This has to be part of the detachment process.</p><p></p><p>And this coldness, this capacity to use others ~ even their own mothers ~ this must be something intrinsic to difficult child kids. Part of the definition of the term, I mean. Something different in the way they think, something missing, maybe.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening, Echolette. I wish this never had to happen to any of us. We are here together though, and that is such a good and supportive thing. </p><p></p><p>I am thinking about taking a painting class. I loved being in all that color. I had no idea I was this depressed.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 618210, member: 17461"] I used to consciously go after my anger. It is better to deal with it if you can than try to function around it. I would run until I cried (never took very long, either) or pound a pillow until I could bring it up. I haven't done those things in a long time. I worked at one of those little island art galleries yesterday afternoon. As the time there passed, I realized I was feeling happier and happier. It has been so long since I have been away from what is happening at home that I actually forgot what it IS to feel happy. It was the craziest thing, to realize that. To realize not sad (or even, not overwhelmingly sad) is a good day for me. I've been asked to help again in February. I am going to note whether the same thing happens. It was so funny. As the time wore on, as I spent more and more hours and minutes interacting with people who were happy, surrounded by color and incredible things to see, I could actually feel my mood lift. I thought I was doing so well! This is all so impossibly hard. MWM posted today about the difference in 36. She sounded so happy and grateful and surprised, pleased and calm and...I remembered MWM's suffering over 36. And all of our suffering, here. How we try so hard to know how to cope with kids who just aren't right, how hard we try to put positive spins on heartbreaking, spirit-devouring things, how we try to fight our own feelings of depression or anger or powerlessness or hopelessness. This has to be part of the detachment process. And this coldness, this capacity to use others ~ even their own mothers ~ this must be something intrinsic to difficult child kids. Part of the definition of the term, I mean. Something different in the way they think, something missing, maybe. I am sorry this is happening, Echolette. I wish this never had to happen to any of us. We are here together though, and that is such a good and supportive thing. I am thinking about taking a painting class. I loved being in all that color. I had no idea I was this depressed. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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When is total detachment the right thing to do?
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