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When It Rains . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 413736" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Weary, I do believe I could have written this post. Especially about having a lot of bad things happen to you in your life, and that feeling of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes I believe this perpetuates the cycle, my anticipation of the bad things, creates the mindset for more bad things to more easily occur. However there are other things, that happen that are completely out of my control that really, really stink.</p><p></p><p>I lost my job 6 months ago, and it was due to my boss undermining everything I did. I tell you what, that is more stress than anyone really chalks it up to be. To walk in every day feeling like you are going to get fired, or know that your co-workers or boss are consistently throwing you under the bus is brutal. By the time I got fired, I was a wreck. Then my dog died, and my dad's cancer came back. I am sitting right now by his bed, typing this, as he is dying. Again brutal. </p><p></p><p>At this point in my life, at age 43, and having consistent bad things happen to me about every 6 months for 4 years, I am conditioned to expect them, and hope seems a distant entity. The most I can do to combat this depression, is to exercise, and I am working with a Dr to get my medications balanced. The sleep issue became so out of control about 3 months ago, that I had to seek a Dr. The other thing I would do if I could is get back into therapy. I had an amazing therapist in Dallas, who was instrumental in taking a lot of my fear and helping it melt away. So those would be the things I suggest to you as well.</p><p></p><p>Other than that, know you are not alone. I often contemplate why me - not out of pity - but because if I knew why I had such mountains of poo piled on me my whole life - then maybe I could identify what I was doing wrong that keeps the poo flying, and then I could fix the problem. However, I have realized over time that most of the things that have happened to me are not things that I could control, and therefore it is pointless and futile to keep asking what am I doing wrong. I am coming to more of an acceptance level, that this is just me and my life - and it is what it is. Therefore, I just need to do what I can to make myself feel better as life goes on its merry (haha) way. The acceptance piece helps a lot. That cliche, it is what it is, actually has helped me not fight the poo so much, but just accept it and go on. To not be so overcome with the burdens, and the "whys' and the grief, but to just go on.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and peace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 413736, member: 3301"] Weary, I do believe I could have written this post. Especially about having a lot of bad things happen to you in your life, and that feeling of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes I believe this perpetuates the cycle, my anticipation of the bad things, creates the mindset for more bad things to more easily occur. However there are other things, that happen that are completely out of my control that really, really stink. I lost my job 6 months ago, and it was due to my boss undermining everything I did. I tell you what, that is more stress than anyone really chalks it up to be. To walk in every day feeling like you are going to get fired, or know that your co-workers or boss are consistently throwing you under the bus is brutal. By the time I got fired, I was a wreck. Then my dog died, and my dad's cancer came back. I am sitting right now by his bed, typing this, as he is dying. Again brutal. At this point in my life, at age 43, and having consistent bad things happen to me about every 6 months for 4 years, I am conditioned to expect them, and hope seems a distant entity. The most I can do to combat this depression, is to exercise, and I am working with a Dr to get my medications balanced. The sleep issue became so out of control about 3 months ago, that I had to seek a Dr. The other thing I would do if I could is get back into therapy. I had an amazing therapist in Dallas, who was instrumental in taking a lot of my fear and helping it melt away. So those would be the things I suggest to you as well. Other than that, know you are not alone. I often contemplate why me - not out of pity - but because if I knew why I had such mountains of poo piled on me my whole life - then maybe I could identify what I was doing wrong that keeps the poo flying, and then I could fix the problem. However, I have realized over time that most of the things that have happened to me are not things that I could control, and therefore it is pointless and futile to keep asking what am I doing wrong. I am coming to more of an acceptance level, that this is just me and my life - and it is what it is. Therefore, I just need to do what I can to make myself feel better as life goes on its merry (haha) way. The acceptance piece helps a lot. That cliche, it is what it is, actually has helped me not fight the poo so much, but just accept it and go on. To not be so overcome with the burdens, and the "whys' and the grief, but to just go on. Hugs and peace [/QUOTE]
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