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General Parenting
When no amount of discipline and rewards seem to work?
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 402571" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>I'm so sorry. I wish I had some answers for you.</p><p> </p><p>The thing is...</p><p> </p><p>So much of what we do and how we behave comes down to our feelings for others. We obey our parents because we love them and we want their approval (whether we are willing to admit it or not). We listen to our teachers because we want to please them. We follow rules because we want to fit in. We respect others because we want that same respect in return.</p><p> </p><p>Some of our difficult children do not have feelings for others....whether you want to call it "lack of empathy" or "no relationship skills" or "poor attachment to others" - it really boils down to the same thing. And if we don't have those feelings, that awareness of people around us - then there is no motivation to conform.</p><p> </p><p>And how in the world would one explain, describe or rationalize a reason to follow the rules of society to a person who lacks those feelings?</p><p> </p><p>I think for some - the only real motivation is avoiding jail.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 402571, member: 6546"] I'm so sorry. I wish I had some answers for you. The thing is... So much of what we do and how we behave comes down to our feelings for others. We obey our parents because we love them and we want their approval (whether we are willing to admit it or not). We listen to our teachers because we want to please them. We follow rules because we want to fit in. We respect others because we want that same respect in return. Some of our difficult children do not have feelings for others....whether you want to call it "lack of empathy" or "no relationship skills" or "poor attachment to others" - it really boils down to the same thing. And if we don't have those feelings, that awareness of people around us - then there is no motivation to conform. And how in the world would one explain, describe or rationalize a reason to follow the rules of society to a person who lacks those feelings? I think for some - the only real motivation is avoiding jail. [/QUOTE]
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When no amount of discipline and rewards seem to work?
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