When the very accomplished have mental illness - very sad

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tiredof33, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    My sis sent me a text about this young man. He was having PTSD from his military service and at 4AM was shooting at the neighbors house from his home. He briefly went to his parents home 100 feet away and his dad tried to take the guns from him. He said he could not turn over the guns because the Iraqians were oldside and would attack. He would not turn over his guns to the SWAT team so they killed him. Look at all this 30 yo young man has accomplished, including a Purple Heart, to die in such a manner.


    In Florida we had a middle school within walking distance of our home, large school. One of the boys came from a drug and neglected home. The kids picked on him and he threatened to blow up the school bus. He was sent to an alternative school and for some reason after summeer break came back to the middle school. Kids continued to pick on him and he brought in a gun and threatened to kill some students. SWAT team was called in and 1 bullet to his head killed him. The gun was a toy he had painted black.

    It baffles me that they shoot to kill instead of just shooting to stop them from killing themselves and others!
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is very sad and it just highlights that we need to provide more mental health services for our servicemen when they return home. So many return with PTSD and they have nowhere to turn.

  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Saddest thing is that this wasn't just plain old PTSD - that's just what the military is blaming it on to avoid scrutiny.

    The men and women over there have been exposed to chemicals which is causing this. It's more common and more "intense" than PTSD should be. More often than not, these men an women function pretty normally during the day, but have episodes of sleepwalking/waking where they are reliving their military service, and really, really bad things, like above, happen.

    My stepson had this. During the day he was "fine" - his usual ornery, redneck self. At night, he'd wake his wife up choking and beating her, yelling about insurgents and such. Fortunately she'd wake up in time to wake him up. Once she did, he'd be in tears over what he did and would go sleep on the couch and make her lock him out of the bedroom.

    Yeah, military does not want to take responsibility for this.
  4. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I agree they are trying to keep everything low profile and do not want to spend money to help those risking their lives. Your son in law could seriously hurt her and not be aware of it!

    I watched a TV show about drugs where the military preformed experiments with LSD on soldiers without their knowledge. This was during the cold war days and some of the men had major mental health issues that they (and their families) were left to deal with by themselves. Really sad that our government does things like that!!
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Youngest is dating a guy in the Army now, who's been to Iraq/Afghanistan (I can't remember which, to be honest). She told me he has some PTSD. But she also told me that he says he can't let his superiors know or seek help for it, because they will kick him out. He says he's seen it happen to too many of his friends; they seek help for PTSD and end up being medically discharged. So he just deals with it as best he can, afraid to lose his job. Thankfully, she says his is mild... he gets nervous under bridges (because of IEDs), and has some nightmares, but no behavior that has frightened her.

    Whether this is statistically real or only his (and his friends') perception, it's still sad and obviously damaging. No one should be afraid to seek help for themselves for fear of losing their job. Especially when your job is part of the reason you got that way.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    About the shooting to kill instead of shooting to just stop them from hurting someone. That is not how any police officer is trained. No officer ever wants to use his weapon...ever. The last thing they want to do is shoot someone but if they have to shoot, they are trained to shoot to kill. Anything else leaves them and anyone else open to the risk of getting shot if they miss or if the person is only hurt and returns fire.
  7. MyFriendKita

    MyFriendKita Member

    My son's friend told me the same thing (he was in the Army).
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    very sad. we owe them much better.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    husband's theory on this was that soldiers now days have basically no transition time from the battlefield back to civilization due to modern transportation. He said it was hard on him after Vietnam, but nothing like it was for our nephew after Desert Storm or Afghanistan. (yep poor guy wound up in both) But at least nephew had his dad (korea) and husband to talk to about things if he needed to, not to mention his grandfather (WWII). There is a reason vets sit around with each other telling old war stories, it's somewhat therapeutic.

    husband said his first weeks home from the war he kept one eye out for snipers and crowds just plain made him a nervous wreck. He *thought* he had a long list of things he wanted to do when he got home, but discovered quickly that it had to be done at a very slow pace. And his transition time was much slower than now, but still it didn't take very long.

    Veterans Day and Memorial Day would tear the man up. It was so bad that I forbid him to watch anything to do with it on tv. I wasn't being mean, but the last time I let him watch it he was suicidal by the time it was nearly over. And I said enough is enough. If it does that to you, you've no business watching it. He could and did talk about it ect........just something about seeing it on tv that tore him up.

    No matter how many "rules" they make up for war, it's downright ugly. And anyone who actually believes when push comes to shove that those "rules" are followed.......are naive as hades, because they aren't by either side much of the time. The public's naivety concerning war only makes it harder on the vets coming back.

    I wish they'd give our vets more transition time that includes counseling and some group therapy before reuniting them with their families. It sure couldn't hurt, and they certainly deserve that much consideration.
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    There are some extra funds for counseling for vets right now.
    At the DUI place were I worked during my last year of graduate school, we had one there and it was such an interesting case.
    He was above average in intelligence, working and doing very well in general.
    However, when he first got back he had great difficulties....fortunately just for a few months.
    And yes, I do think it was largely an issue of transition.

    When I read the headline of your post, it's not exactly the topic, but it reminded me of my difficult child in a way. She was and is highly intelligent, but of course that may not translate into day to day or work ability/or success when mental illness is involved.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 24, 2012
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I never understood that either. They could shoot an arm or leg and I guarantee it would stop them!
  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    This is one major reason why I am glad my difficult child and his actions have probably made it imipossible for him to join the military!!! That is one thing he always wanted to do. And although I think going through boot camp would probably be good for him and teach him a lot.... the thought of him dealing with the traumas of war worry me. I think seeing and living the trauma of war would probably really mess him up.... and as we all know he is already pretty messed up.

  13. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    My brother is a Vietnam Vet. When he got off the bus returning home at the end of the war, he was spat upon by demonstrators. He was an officer and a decorated hero but that didn't hep him get over the trauma that he suffered at those radical idiots hands. He carried that pain for many years and tried to drown it in a bottle. He lost so much as a result of his alcoholism. Only a stroke that wiped out a good bit of his memory gave him peace. He is now sober and proud of it and even though partially paralysed happier than he has ever been in his life. It would have been so much nicer for him to have been given help by his government. Maybe then he would have healed his pain and not have had the alcohol induced stroke. I cry when I think about him telling me that he was a horrible person because of the things he had to do in Vietnam and that there was no place for him in heaven. He started hanging out at the American legion and comeserating with other vets and drinking his job away, and drinking his licence away and drinking his family' respect away.

    How do we let things like this happen? How do we go about our days and allow our government to ignore the mental traumas our soldiers and their families must live with? How do we allow idiots to spit on our soldiers and to picket the funerals of our fallen in the name of free speech? Americans seem to get rieled up at the moment it happens but then go back to their lives and forget about it.

    I am speaking generally here. (The lord know that those on this board have enough to do advocating for their difficult children) I think that too many Americans say "how horrible! That shouldn't be allowed" or" that should never happen" but don't make a big enough stink to get changes effected. And so our vets' mental health needs continue to be ignored.

    I have often thought of those radical extremists that met the busses of our returning soldiers and abused them like that. What has become of them? Did Karma catch up did they pay any price for their actions? Or are they living high on the hog? Breezing through life while their victims carried their scars for a lifetime.
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    RM- husband went through the same thing when he returned from Vietnam.

    That is why there was a national campaign put into place to try to prevent the same thing from happening to troops returning from Desert Storm and now Afghanistan. And it has helped immensely. But you're right, I'll never figure out why in the so called name of Free Speech we allow these protestors to show up at fallen warrior funerals to disrespect those who literally gave their all in the name of our country. That is a new low I didn't think we'd sink to. Free Speech or not, phht, what about simple respect for the dead or grieving family?

    There were anti war protestors during WWII, but I tell you if any of them had been foolish enough to pull the stunts you see today, they'd not have survived to do it again because the public would've torn them to shreds.

    We had a funeral for a fallen warrior a few months ago. The local vets organized and literally guarded the funeral to prevent any would be anti war protestors from getting near it. If there were any issues, I never heard about them. But it's a sad sad day when that has to be done to lay someone to rest.
  15. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    My husband served in Vietnam also and one time coming back they were called baby killers and other nasty names. 3 years ago when the young cable guys were at our house one of them told me he and his wife left the military because of the same kind of treatment. Here the military is treated with respect (mostly). There are a lot of suicides and abuse reported in the news, and it is a career killer to go for mental health counseling.

    We live close to Ft. Stewart and the sicko warped family came here to protest - they were smart enough to stay away from the base but they held protests in Savannah. The media gave them coverage at first and the citizens were outraged -THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT! - so the religious leaders got involved and begged people not to participate, stay calm. When they were actually here to protest not one TV station or newspaper reported it.

    For this family to spew such hatred and call themselves Christains is amazing!