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When they are not able to live independently....
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 420057" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>For those of you with compliant cognitively limited or disabled adult children (ours is totally non-compliant so this kind of planning was futile for us), there is a growing movement across the country to create supportive housing and employment communities for adults with a wide variety of disabilities. Many offer on-site social work staff and medical care or coordinate medical care in the community. Here are some links for you to explore that talk generally about planning for your adult child's long term supportive care and a couple of links to organizations that create these communities and one on-line forum for parents of disabled adults.</p><p></p><p>Our extended family includes a mentally retarded 80 year old uncle of my spouse. His care was passed on to his brother F. (my spouse's dad) and is now being handed off to one of my brother-in-laws C.. They live in a very small mountain community of about 2,500 people but it is within 20 miles or so of three or four other small communities. The arrangement they have come up with is that the disabled uncle D. lives in a small trailer park in a mobile home purchased by his parents long ago and renovated or replaced at least once I think. It is located in the same community but on the far side of town about 2 or 3 miles away from the person providing his support. D. is capable of living on his own as long as he doesn't have to handle money, oversee his own medical care, drive, or make any significant decisions like where he's going to live. The family network has a routine set up where they take him grocery shopping once a week (or do it for him), serve as payee for his small disability income, make sure he and his little dog get the medical care they need, drive him on the rare occasions that he needs to go somewhere (usually family gatherings) and that repairs/maintenance on his home are handled. He is completely content to sit in his little trailer and watch TV and movies (westerns), take his dog on short walks, visit with neighbors a little and spend short periods visiting with family. He is really very happy and often leaves family gatherings fairly quickly because he's just not comfortable with all those people. He tends to look confused a lot in those settings.</p><p></p><p>My good friend L. has an adult child with Asperger's. He's 40 now and lives independently. He is a computer geek and Japanese anime lover. He would have lived in his parent's home forever. They decided that they felt he could manage on his own with only a small amount of assistance from them (mainly advice) so when he didn't take their hints that he should move out (he had a job which they had helped him get) they changed the locks and didn't give him a key. They told him they were happy to have him stay but he would have to come and go with them. He had found an apartment and moved out within 2 weeks and has been on his own ever since. He only learned to drive last year. Up until then he went everywhere by bike and was happy to do it. Or he hitched rides with his (many) friends. He has maintained close contacts with them (my friend is now widowed) and may move back in with his mother now that her health is deteriorating some and he has been unemployed for several months.</p><p></p><p>Don't know if those solutions/stories will be helpful to anyone but thought I'd share them along with the links.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to us all,</p><p></p><p>Patricia</p><p></p><p>Link to an article about planning with suggestions for agencies to contact and other good info</p><p></p><p><a href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/future-planning-for-your-intellectually-disabled-adult-child/" target="_blank">http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/future-planning-for-your-intellectually-disabled-adult-child/</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 420057, member: 7948"] For those of you with compliant cognitively limited or disabled adult children (ours is totally non-compliant so this kind of planning was futile for us), there is a growing movement across the country to create supportive housing and employment communities for adults with a wide variety of disabilities. Many offer on-site social work staff and medical care or coordinate medical care in the community. Here are some links for you to explore that talk generally about planning for your adult child's long term supportive care and a couple of links to organizations that create these communities and one on-line forum for parents of disabled adults. Our extended family includes a mentally retarded 80 year old uncle of my spouse. His care was passed on to his brother F. (my spouse's dad) and is now being handed off to one of my brother-in-laws C.. They live in a very small mountain community of about 2,500 people but it is within 20 miles or so of three or four other small communities. The arrangement they have come up with is that the disabled uncle D. lives in a small trailer park in a mobile home purchased by his parents long ago and renovated or replaced at least once I think. It is located in the same community but on the far side of town about 2 or 3 miles away from the person providing his support. D. is capable of living on his own as long as he doesn't have to handle money, oversee his own medical care, drive, or make any significant decisions like where he's going to live. The family network has a routine set up where they take him grocery shopping once a week (or do it for him), serve as payee for his small disability income, make sure he and his little dog get the medical care they need, drive him on the rare occasions that he needs to go somewhere (usually family gatherings) and that repairs/maintenance on his home are handled. He is completely content to sit in his little trailer and watch TV and movies (westerns), take his dog on short walks, visit with neighbors a little and spend short periods visiting with family. He is really very happy and often leaves family gatherings fairly quickly because he's just not comfortable with all those people. He tends to look confused a lot in those settings. My good friend L. has an adult child with Asperger's. He's 40 now and lives independently. He is a computer geek and Japanese anime lover. He would have lived in his parent's home forever. They decided that they felt he could manage on his own with only a small amount of assistance from them (mainly advice) so when he didn't take their hints that he should move out (he had a job which they had helped him get) they changed the locks and didn't give him a key. They told him they were happy to have him stay but he would have to come and go with them. He had found an apartment and moved out within 2 weeks and has been on his own ever since. He only learned to drive last year. Up until then he went everywhere by bike and was happy to do it. Or he hitched rides with his (many) friends. He has maintained close contacts with them (my friend is now widowed) and may move back in with his mother now that her health is deteriorating some and he has been unemployed for several months. Don't know if those solutions/stories will be helpful to anyone but thought I'd share them along with the links. Good luck to us all, Patricia Link to an article about planning with suggestions for agencies to contact and other good info [url]http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/future-planning-for-your-intellectually-disabled-adult-child/[/url] [/QUOTE]
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