When they have to be hospitilized

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Mandy, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    I have a few questions regarding hospitilizations and when that decision is made etc. Little Bear is only 5yo so I have went through a great deal to avoid putting him inpatient. I am struggling with whether or not we can do this by ourselves. We had a very bad weekend with Little Bear and he became very dangerous...mostly to me. I have been hit, kicked, scratched, had my hair pulled etc. etc. just in the last three days. husband tries to help but his job is to also keep my other little one's safe during these moments.

    So my questions are...

    ~ Is Little Bear really considered being a danger to others since he is just 5yo?
    ~ Do we decide to place him inpatient or his Dr?
    ~ Has your child been placed inpatient and at what age?
    ~ How did you decide or what prompted an inpatient stay?

    This is my first difficult child so I am just trying to figure it all out. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi Mandy,

    His doctor will have to decide to place him inpatient. Have you tried IOP (intensive outpatient) yet? Clearly his medications are not working. Has he been better since starting on the medications or worse?

    Have you tried the gluten-free, casein-free all-natural diet? It eliminated rages in my 10 year old who has raged since he was 2. I was not a big believer in diet therapy but I was shocked at how much and how quickly he improved. It is something to try if you are desperate enough to be looking at inpatient.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am not as knowledgeable as others but this is my take/experience:

    A 5 year old can be a danger to others - especially younger siblings and even to you.

    You and/or the doctor can make that call. It can also be a joint decision. (I am sorry, I just read JJJ's reply. We did not go through our doctor to admit inpatient but maybe you do if your child is that young? And our psychiatric hospital may have worked with our doctor to get the referral if one was needed for insurance? I don't know what went on behind the scenes but we just walked into the psychiatric hospital unannounced and admitted difficult child) Your doctor can help answer some questions and give you his/her input on the need level. You can take your child to the hospital and ask for a mental health assessment. If you take him to the Children's Psychiatric Hospital, they will know best what to look for to make this decision.

    My difficult child was hospitalized 1 1/2 mo after turning 11 years old.

    My difficult child was becoming self harming. Had strong thoughts to hurt himself including his body telling him to jump from the 3rd floor of the Mall of America. The thoughts were starting to get to where the harm would kill him. He was not suicidal and was fighting it very hard. On our 1st therapist appointment, the therapist said he could only see difficult child once a week and if we needed more help to try the children's psychiatric hospital down the road which had several options from outpatient to day programs to inpatient. My difficult child left that appointment crying and pleading for more help so we went down the block and through the admissions process which includes the assessment as to what level of treament is needed.

    As a mom, I know how extremely hard it will be for you if the choice to hospitalize your 5 year old is made. It is so hard to leave your child behind locked doors and be given a short visitation schedule. However, if you decide you can not continue life as you are living and do decide to hospitalize, know that your choice is to put his needs first above your hurting heart and call on us to help you through those mommy heart days.
    Many of us have been through the hospitalization process, we know your mommy heart feelings.

    My difficult child has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety. He really felt he grew in the hospital. He told me that what he hated most about being there was that I was missing out on watching him grow up. He received many coping skills which he immediately implemented and was committed to fighting his anxiety. He was old enough to know that life didn't have to be like that - It never was before. We lived through the most horrendous year but his hard work and the right medication has pulled him out of his fears.

    Staff at the children's psychiatric hospital will be experienced in working with your 5 year old if they admit at that young of age.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    JJJ is also onto something (see, I told you others knew more than me). While you are working on the decision to hospitalize or not,- if you are not already doing so, set up a very structured healthy meal plan for your difficult child. Take out junk food, increase the healthy foods trying to follow the nutrional guideline for his age as much as possible.

    Maybe there is something in his everyday diet that is making him not feel well - something that is adding to his rage?

    Sometimes a structured schedule in all parts of a difficult child's life helps so much for them to stay in control. Some get so overwhelmed with change and they feel safe in the controlled structure you set up. Structure for me was the hardest to set up because I consider it so boring and demanding but I did the best I could and it did help with getting my uptight anxious child to relax.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The first time any of my kids was hospitalized was when he was six. He came home Completely miserable from 1st grade crying because he just couldnt understand why he was not normal. I found a small hospital that specialized in ADHD kids and sent him there. Looking back I think they were drumming up business for this hospital with adds on tv, radio and billboards everywhere around us and they soon went out of business because I dont think they really did a darned thing for the kids but it didnt hurt my son and he learned there were more kids just like him...lol.
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Having had many many hospitalizations with each tweedle I can tell you that it isn't "easy" to get an inpatient psychiatric evaluation.

    Presenting a danger to himself or others at his age is going to be "iffy" at best because by the time the psychiatric SW shows up to evaluate the situation the child has been calmed by ice cream, movies & what not in the ER.

    AND that is where you start ~ transport your out of control child to the ER. Document, document, document & always take your parent report with you.

    If your difficult children psychiatrist has practicing priviledges & is willing to hospitalize him that may be the way to go. Check in with psychiatrist.

    All of our inpatient stays were because of out of control dangerous behaviors that lasted hours; threats to kill themselves or myself or husband & physical aggression.

    kt's first hospitalization was at the age of 4; wm at the age of 8. There have been many inpatient stays & then moves to Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    Hope this helps some.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Having been in the hospital three times myself and had a daughter in it, don't expect miracles from a hospital. in my opinion, especially so young, a new evaluation by a neuropsychologist and intensive outpatient will probably help both him and you more than inpatient. The don't automatically "get" what is wrong with your son because he's in the hospital--the vast majority of the time is not spent with the doctors. You can do medication adjustments at home. I truly think that, since the medications aren't working, you need a new evaluation. He's only 5 and they could very well have misdiagnosed him and he may be getting worse because he's not getting the right kind of help. The wrong kind of help won't work. medications for a dirorder the child doesn't have won't help and could hurt. My daughter loathed Depakote with the heat of a thousand sons, but somebody only five can't explain how the medications make him feel. If it were me, I'd probably try a new evaluation and outpatient first.
    You're the only one who can make the call, but he probably would also be the youngest on the ward (possibly by far).

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do!!!
  8. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I will add my suggestion to try eliminating all gluten and casein (milk) from his diet while you figure out the next step.

    My now 13 year old daughter is a easy child/typical teen when she stays on her girlfriend/CF diet. She used to be violent and defiant when she was angry. I didn't really expect the diet to change much but it was a miracle in our house. We've been doing it for more than 3 years.

    I could tell in myself that I felt much better on the girlfriend diet by the first or second day. With difficult child 1, I thought I could tell within a few days, but I was afraid to hope for a few weeks.
  9. jal

    jal Member

    My difficult child was hospitalized last year right after his 6th b-day. We were doing a medication wash under his psychiatrist's guidance and difficult child became unstable and a danger to himself. Under our psychiatrist's advice we took him to the ER. Of course there he did not show symptoms and waited pretty well for 6 hours in a room with-us. But I think what really got him the admittal was my huge difficult child binder. Along with our parent report it holds every piece of documentation from the time we started our journey. The attending was so impressed with everything we had persued he told me he would fight to get difficult child in and they did for 3 weeks. Be advised though that most hospitals are not going to evaluate a child who has been admitted. They will try to stablilize the child. We had already had the neuropsychologist done etc. What came out of it though was assistance from the hospital in helping to team us with a program in our community that offers intensive in home services. Our difficult child receives them 2 times a week since last fall. Also, the hospitalization helped us to get out of disctrict placement for our child. Our child needed this. He needed a small, structured setting for learning. These 2 things along with a bit of maturity and medications have really helped difficult child. Things aren't perfect, but they are vastly better. difficult child is excelling at school and the tantrums are rare now. He attended a day camp for the first time and excelled. For us at the time it was the right thing to do, but so hard to leave your 6 yr old in the care of people you don't know and on a ward where he was the youngest. I think it was harder on us than him, but it helped all of us regroup. husband and I were able to relax, knowing difficult child was safe and we were able to recharge ourselves to prepare for our next steps.
  10. jcox

    jcox New Member

    ~ Is Little Bear really considered being a danger to others since he is just 5yo?Yes he very well may be.

    ~ Do we decide to place him inpatient or his Dr?You will have to go to the ER and tell them you need to get him a crisis services evaluation. In my state.. MA... psychiatrists can not admit anyone to any psychiatric placement. It can only be done by contracting agencies.

    ~ Has your child been placed inpatient and at what age?My little man E had his first inpatient stay this past February for 15 days. He was only 6 y.o at the time of his placement.

    ~ How did you decide or what prompted an inpatient stay? I have to admit that I prolonged putting him in the hospital because I was scared. He is so young and I had many worries. His aggression was increasing. He was making plans of how he could die. I tried 3x in the couple weeks before this day to have him placed but they kept sending us home because either there were no beds available, or the crisis services worker would tell me there were no beds available...even when he got Section 12'd which in some other states is called 5150'd. The day of his admittance was his worst one. He was extremely agressive: attacking me, his sisters, broke a shovel and went after us with it's sharp points, throwing forks, tried to stab his sister with a fork, broke my glasses, was trying to die by eating seeds and paper, told me other ways he could die as well. I tried to drive him 25 minutes to his counselor, which was a very bad choice. On the way there he was trying his best to break he windows by kicking and punching them. He tried to open the door of the van while it was moving. When we got almost at his counseling apt. he attacked me while I was driving. Somehow he got is arm out of his seatbelt, reached forwards, grabbed my hair and pulled so hard my neck flopped back, I could not see where I was going. I know that God was looking over us because we did not crash. I managed to get to the apt. without my glasses, crying, and with him attacking me. When I got there every time I tried to unbuckle his seat belt lock he attacked me again: choking, kicking, scratching, hitting, pulling my hair, etc. He was making animal noises and would not stop. Finally I called into his counselor on my cell phone. She came out and told me we had to get him admitted. She rode with us to the ER which was a few streets away. That night we were blessed with an excellent crisis services worker who did get him admitted. The way it works we could not pick where we wanted him to go. It was wherever there is a bed available. I had a list of the order I wanted them to call for placement and they followed it finding him a bed at #5 on my list, which if and when he needs to go again will be #1. He received excellent care there. They did comfort him while he was upset, taught him new skills, and he was okay. I worried so much because he is so little. Hospitalizing him was the hardest but also the best thing I ever have done for him. I know that if and when he needs to go again I will not wait until we live in years of craziness before I do it again. I will be much quicker because I see the changes that it brought in him. For the first time in his life since his release he is stable. They were able to change his medications much quicker while in the hospital because they were there 24/7 to watch how he reacted to the medications, watch him for side effects, see what worked and what did not. Hospitalizing him was the best thing I ever have done for him because we now got to know this sweet little boy who was hiding inside my son. We also got a break from the everyday madness, time to recoup. They were able to confirm his diagnoses as well, and make recomendations for the school which helped.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Mandy -- I do also want to offer sympathy. Tigger was 5 when we first took him to a psychiatrist because we knew something was horribly wrong. They can be that sick that young.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending many hugs your way. My difficult child started seeing a psychiatrist when he was 4. His first hospitalization was when he was 7. He tried to strangle husband while he was driving a van. Yes, as others have said, he is young but he can be considered a danger. Our psychiatrist was who we went through to have him hospitalized.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ~ Is Little Bear really considered being a danger to others since he is just 5yo?
    ~ Do we decide to place him inpatient or his Dr?
    ~ Has your child been placed inpatient and at what age?
    ~ How did you decide or what prompted an inpatient stay?

    Hi Mandy - welcome to the board.

    My son (Dude) is now 18. By the time he was six years old he had been through more hell on earth than most grown people I know. That said when we took him to the hospital for an evaluation we really didn't have a choice it was made for us. Dude was explosive, violent, lashed out, angry all the time. He had a short SHORT fuse. What caused us to take him to the hospital the first time wasn't him hitting me, or pulling my hair or screaming, refusing to do what I asked repetedly, kicking, destroying his toys, my home, my belongings. It was pulling an antique grain scythe off the wall (decoration) and chasing a neighbor boy down the street screaming "I'll kill you you SOB." and meaning it. Had my son caught this kid for merely trying to play with him and another boy I believe at that time he would have killed him. THAT didn't get him the stay at the psychiatric hospital either. (Believe it or not)
    We got him in the car - got him to the hospital to be evaluated - and sat there for two hours after telling he nurses - what he had done. While we sat there nurses did watch us in the waiting room, but I had left in such a hurry that I didn't bring any money for the vending machines. When Dude wanted snacks and didn't get any? He went berzerk and despite my getting a paper cup and water - he wanted a soda and crackers. When he didn't get it? He tore the waiting room apart. He ripped magazines up, stood on end tables, pounded on fish tanks, tried to tear pictures off the walls, beat on the glass - and FINALLY the nurses who would stare and glare at me - got him in the back into a room and tried to calm him down. By this time? He was in full bore rage, kicking and screaming - he destroyed the ER room, was ripping stuff off the walls, throwing things and they called 2 police who promptly handcuffed him to the bed. Then he began to curse and swear and they shut the door and the lady cop got in his face and told him to shut up and he spat on her, tried to kick her and THAT would have been assault - but the nurse had called a mental health worker. He had messed in his pants - was so upset he was red in the face, couldn't breathe, hyper ventilated himself and they finally gave him a shot of something to calm him down.

    When the mental health worker got there - I was a wreck. All I could do was tell her that THIS is what I deal with - ALONE - all the time. I left an abusive relationship and he lived through it too. No one had ANY idea what we lived through. From there - they called the city police and there had been a parade or something and no one was available - so they called a k-9 unit. A van showed up that hauls dogs - and my son was handcuffed at six years old - tiny little fella - hauled to the van - and handcuffed like a criminal to the bars in the back of the dog transport and hauled to the state hospital. There he was made to stand against the wall and had his picture for intake snapped and wisked off to a room.

    It was the single worst day of my life. I wasn't allowed to see him for six weeks while they assessed him. They told me it was for his best interest. WE talked on the phone, but that was it. They observed him, got him on medications and kept him for six months. It was by their standards an unusually long stay. From there he went to a group Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for three months and then home.

    That began the cycle for us. A few months at home - then he would become out of control again - then the school would kick him out. Then I'd have to quit work - or find someone to take him during the day - and then? I had no idea HE had rights or that anyone else like us existed.

    When I found this place I think Dude was around nine years old. By then we had already been to around four or five Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, and black-listed from every day care, I had no idea there was such a thing as an IEP or 504, I had never heard of NAMI, what was CONDUCT DISORDER??? - I was just a bad Mother who was abused and my kid was a product of that environment - and there was very little help for either of us. We had mental health - not much help where we are, the school counselor, the school psychiatrist and a few books on out of control kids. There was very little advice on dietary changes except DONT GIVE YOUR KIDS RED DYE or NO artifical sweetener - so I didn't.

    Thirteen years later and numerous psychiatric hospitals, Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, group homes, Department of Juvenile Justice, jail, courts, and now foster care, 65 plus medications, suicide attempts, anger management, ropes courses, wilderness camps, therapy, hypno therapy, EMDR therapy, counselors, prayers, psychologists, family therapy, and hundreds of books, workshops and the like - we're just able to peek our nose above water and hope that in a few weeks when he turns 19 - that he has had ENOUGH....and makes good decisions for himself.

    I never TOLD a doctor he was staying - they always told us. So I never got to make the decision. Parents do not get that choice.

    I hope this helps you make some decisions for your son and your family. I don't know if I would do anything different if given the chance - except maybe I would have found the last family therapist we did who we all really seemed to connect with and worked with him from the get-go. He was more helpful to us as parents and helping us stay one step ahead of Dude than any other book, workshop or therapist. He also was able to give Dude one-on-one attention that our kids seem to crave. Sometimes you are left with having to get your kids to base (no medications) to get their systems re-started, and at home is a tough place to do that. Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s are helpful for that and when kids are a little older PEER PRESSURE is extremely good for making them mature.

    I think our kids have something that doesn't allow them genetically to mature normally - even though Dude is going to be physically 19 next month - emotionally he's just about 16 now. He behaves like someone you see that is a normal 16. Doesn't take a lot of showers - dirty fingernails - worrys about how everyone else is dressed - looking to be in a clicky society - things like that - not typical 19 year old behavior - more 16. At five - your son is most likely exhibiting behaviors of a three year old??? Just guessing. Hitting, slapping.....etc? Something to explore with a really good therapist. And if you don't like the one you go to - quit- find another and another and another until you all find one you like and connect with. These kids divide families - our divorce rate is high. So getting a handle on it now - is very important. Probably the MOST important next to telling them a lot - YOU ARE LOVED, BUT that behavior isn't tolerated.

    Hope this helps some....
    Hugs & Welcome
  14. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Mandy, Star is right; I never had the choice whether or not to hospitalize either of the tweedles ~ it was decided for me.

    They either went in or I took them home.

    And I hope you didn't misunderstand my comment about your difficult children age. I just remember at that young age by the time the psychiatric SW arrived the nurses had calmed tweedle dee or dum down with ice cream, movies & the like. Made me look like a hysterical parent until I began taking both my parent report & of late, my mental health care SW would meet me at the ER. Both sped the process up.
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Timer's right -

    A few times when we were told - "Well the "criteria" for hospitalization is danger to self or others." and you have this week-long, month-long screaming, fist throwing, kicking, spitting, BEYOND tantrum, self-destructive, child - who you aren't sure is going to either hurt themselves or YOU - and you bundle him/her up in a car and pray to God that they don't jump out of a moving vehicle while you are trying to get them to the ER - and you get there and then they sit in the ER room and POW - they are for the moment distracted by the chance of scenery - and you walk up haggarard, tired, worn out, dark circles under your eyes, probably a cheeto or scrambled egg in your hair (depending on what was thrown at you) and you literally look like you've been on a week-long drunken bender from lack of sleep due to your child not sleeping - and the hospital staff whispers, looks - glares at YOU as the parent while little Mr. Perfect smile hums, and reads the ER magazines as if NOTHING in the world could ever be wrong with him? Yeah------been there done that and it makes you think YOU should be the one getting the psychiatric. ward stay. (somedays I would have taken it gladly)

    Stand your ground - don't let them tell you there is NOTHING wrong with your child. Video tape his outbursts, rages, and the like - take THAT to your doctor who may give you a referal to a psychiatrist. That will be helpful - that and a time log of times, dates of his behavior - THAT will probably be the most valuable in seeing patterns or cycles of behaviors - if it's times - then it may be after lunch - (could be - dietary - wouldn't it be phenominal to know that if it were and you eliminated wheat? It would be over?) or if it's after a visit to a certain friends? Could be fear? These things dont register with us - but start keeping a journal with times/dates. It's VERY important. Could be allergies - what are you washing his clothes in? Shampoos/soaps....there are a million things it COULD be....start your eliminations now - and by the time you DO get into a therapist - you'll be ahead of the game. Also - our kids seem more sensitive to sugars...

    But don't let anyone tell you you're not living through what you are - document, document - document. AND learn how to parent differently-
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sorry that you are going thru this but as you can see alot of us have had similar issues and many times choices other than hospitalization resulted in a functional child. Based on over forty years experience with difficult children, I think there are a number of steps I'd suggest. First and foremost I would suggest that you arrange to be totally alone at a library, at a park or even sitting in your car safely in a parking lot. No phones. No husband. No sounds from the kids.

    Take a notebook and make a list:
    1. Do I have a record of difficult children behavior patterns? When did signs begin?
    2. What outside help have I used? Pediatrician? Therapist? Psychiatrist
    3. Did the birth of the sibling change his attitude?
    4. Do husband and I discipline in the same way?
    5. Do we have a regular schedule for meals, bath, play, bed?
    6. Does he behave for others (Grandparents? Friends?)
    7. What does HE say about his temper?
    8. Do we avoid artificial colors, additives, ingredients?
    9. Where is the closest child psyciatrist or neuropsychologist? Can we afford to take him?
    10. Who prescribed the medication and dosages that we are using? Is that person "fully" qualified to prescribe psychiatric medications?

    Very often (yes, in my own case back in the 60's) parenting styles get confused when there are multiple preschool children even when they are all aok. When one child has a problem it can spill over into a chaotic household. "Back in the day" my Ex and I had three preschool kids and we really tried our best....but....we were not on the same page (neither of us knew what to do, truthfully). If you feel overwhelmed and inadequate I want to assure you MOST of us have been there done that.

    Analyze what you have done so far. Analyze what your daily lifestyle is like for all of you. Analyze whether you have found the "best" medical advise (Children's Hospitals are usually ideal). Seek that "best".

    In your home a reduction in noise (we, lol, were rock & roll fans and the music was often too loud for difficult child although we didn't realize it), the turning off of the TV, the addition of a healthful snack, a change in mealtime, a change in nap time, an extra bubble bath, a shared storybook or game can really help. medications alone won't do it. It's a complicated road when you have a difficult child but you are wise to seek advise now. You've found a great place full of caring people who will support you. Hugs. DDD
  17. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry your are facing such dificult decisions and the behaviors that lead up to them. We've had experience with inpatient hospitalizations so I thought I'd offer my two cents.

    Your questions...

    ~ Is Little Bear really considered being a danger to others since he is just 5yo?

    Yes and no. No one should be allowed to hit, kick, bite, etc... but since he is probably small enough to pick up to move to a safe place or restrain by yourself then you may not feel endangered. It does however fit the definition so it is your call. We handled things at home until our difficult child was to big to handle his extreme episodes on our own but sometimes I think that we waited too long and really put ourselves through h*ll.

    ~ Do we decide to place him inpatient or his Dr?

    You can take him to the emergency room and ask for a psychiatric evaluation based on the behaviors. This should be done while difficult child is enraged or immediately following an episode. You can call the police or an ambulance to help with transport if needed. The ER is a sometimes necessary but terrible experience for everyone involved. Expect to wait 12 or more hours to be seen by the psychiatric nurse who does the evaluation. Should he/she feel based on observation and your answers to interview questions that inpatient stay in warrented then you will wait until a bed is found and insurance issues are worked out. Our last ER visit started at 10 AM and we checked difficult child into psychiatric hospital at 1:00 in the morning. Another time, I spent the night in the hospital psychiatric ward with difficult child because no beds were available until morning at the psychiatric hospital.

    Some psychiatric hospitals will do direct admission. You can call and discuss your situation and schedule an intake evaluation if beds are available. This is less stressful than an ER visit but still takes several hours. Keeping a journal and documenting unsafe behaviors is very helpful especially if you are doing a direct admission.

    Once upon a time, the average stay in a psychiatric facilitiy was 60-90 days. Now the average stay is 7 days. The goal is crisis stabalization rather than the medication overhaul that may be necessary to make significant behavior changes. About every 3-5 days, the psychiatrist has to prove to insurance that the stay is necessary so it is hard to get the time necessary to get off one medication and get to a theraputic dose on another medication. That said, twice we've had good result from the medication changes made while difficult child was inpatient. We've also had two inpatient stays that provided no long term stabalization.

    ~ Has your child been placed inpatient and at what age?

    Yes. He was 9 years old the first time that he was hospitalized and has been hospitalized 4 times. Children's units usually have children up to the age of 11 or 12. I've seen much younger kids on the unit but they will be with older children and this can sometimes be problematic. Also, it's been my experience that the staff on the ward expect the children to be independent when it comes to bathing, shampooing hair, teeth brushing, remembering to ask for a pull-up at night if necessary, etc... This was hard for my difficult child because even at nine he was very needy.

    ~ How did you decide or what prompted an inpatient stay?

    The short answer is when difficult child's behaviors became so extreme that we were unable to handle them and keep him and ourselves safe.

    His first hospitalization was reccomended by an in-home behavioral therapist after she witnessed difficult child's behaviors over the course of several visits. He was becoming increasing violent towards me and after a particular extreme episode lasting several hours, we called a psychiatric hospital and arranged an evaluation/admission. The second hospitalization resulted from an episode where difficult child ran out of the therapist's office and on to the highway. The therapist called the police and difficult child was EP'd (emergency petition for evaluation) by the police. He was taken to the ER by ambulance. The third hospialization was during a manic episode in which difficult child hit both myself and the in-home therapist. We were unable to get him to calm down and this went on for several hours. Mobile crisis and the police were called, we were able to vovluntarily take him to the ER and start the process yet again. The most recent inpatient visit resulted from an episode at school whrere he became out of control and violent. The police took him to the ER and we met them there.

    Leaving difficult child at the psychiatric hospital is the hardest thing we've ever done, we worry about him constantly while he's there. We hope for a miracle and soon discover that that the psychiatrists there don't have all the answers, getting the hospital psychiatrist to communicate with our regular psychiatrist is extremely difficult, the other children can be a bad influence for difficult child, the entire thing is emotionally draining but in the end sometimes it necessary and sometimes it even helps. We hope not to go through this again but also realize that it may be necessary.

    Good luck to you with your struggles,
  18. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    The first thing I want to say to all of you is THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

    Reading all of your stories brought tears to my eyes just knowing I am not alone and not the first parent to go through this.

    Yesterday was a very bad day so I called his Dr. immeadiatly almost in tears and asked what we could do. She did increase his seroquel to hopefully get us off this train wreck but didn't want to admit Little Bear.

    However, I did my homework and found the closest mental health facility that is covered by his insurance. They do assessments 24hrs a day so now at least I have my emergency plan in place. They also do outpatient therapy etc. so that is our next step to get in there and get something set up to help us.

    Little Bear had a meltdown in the car yesterday and he does pull hair, hit, kick, bite etc. so I just prayed the 10min drive home.

    husband doesn't want to hospitilize him if we can help it simply because he is so young. He is actually above average in height & weight which is not so great for us since he is bigger and stronger than most 5yo.

    I want to think you all again for all this information and letting me know you are here should I ever have to go through this process. It breaks my heart seeing this little man in so much trouble.
  19. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I know everyone reacts differently to medications and for many the medication your son is taking is very helpful, however, I just wanted to add that my son was on both depakote and serequel for quite some time and neither was helpful in fact now looking backwards, I think they may have made him worse. Serequel showed some initial improvement but it didn't last nor did his symptoms improve. Depakote took forever to get to the theraputic dose and even then had little to no effect. I'm sorry to say that we tried so many medications with little benefit. Risperdal seems to be the most effective medication for controlling our son's violent outbursts. He's not perfect by any stregth but is remarkably improved. I don't want to second guess your psychiatrist and I don't know what you've already tried but I just wanted to share this because it is so beneficial for our son. We were at the point where Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was a very definite possibility and it has allowed us to keep him home, he had a successful summer school experience, and hopefully the positives we are seeing will continue.

  20. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Thanks for the info! Unfortunatly we have been through a lot of medications. So far thought the last few days have been very good. I am realizing that I have to cherish this good moments because we don't know what's around the corner.

    I am so glad I have this board for support whatever kind of day we are having. It really has made such a differance for my own emotional health.