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When to cut the ties
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<blockquote data-quote="Lioness" data-source="post: 653802" data-attributes="member: 18827"><p>SO. so true. There is a toxic hater out there. You do end up believing that there must be something wrong with you. My Mum cut me out of her life, my Dad left me at aged 4 to this woman. He was never very supportive, not financially or emotionally there fore us. My sister is distant, yet she lives just 10 minutes up the road to me. If I ever challenge her coldness, she cuts me off for months at a time. If I wait for her to call or contact me I will wait forever. I am always the one to call, don't know why I bother. Maybe I have that irrational belief that you can't cut family out. I don't want to be like my Mum, and her father and Grandmother before her. They all did this to each other! My ex husband left me after 19 years together. Everyone leaves. Sometimes, I wish I was an orphan as I have no family at all. I have three kids and a second husband with two step children adults. I have wished to have a proper Mum and sister all my life. I have come to terms with it, as I thought I could fix all of this with my own family. THIS is what drives me crazy. My Mum was a fantastic manipulator, and master of divide and rule, My ex husband still does the same with the children and they have learned this behaviour. Its so sad. I wanted to break the cycle. I have my Grand daughter tonight who is such a pleasure. I don't want her affected by all this toxicity. But its not all down to me. I love your analogy of the Red hair. It is best to move on, and as much as I love my daughter if it wasn't for my Grand daughter I could easily just stay away from her. This sounds very nasty of me, but that is how I feel. I'm keeping the peace because of my Grand daughter. My maternal Grandmother was a lovely, loving woman who suffered at the hands of her husband my Grandfather. She was a kind soul who was the only light and love in my childhood. Why didn't my Mum take after her? My mum hit my Grandmother when she was 15 years old and was always verbally abusive towards her. My Difficult daughter with Borderline (BPD) has also done the same to me when she was young. The connection is there staring at me in the face! Yet today she dropped the baby off, and was quite sweet and even kissed me goodbye? WTH? Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind, I am punch drunk with the craziness of it all! HUGS to you allx</p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lioness, post: 653802, member: 18827"] SO. so true. There is a toxic hater out there. You do end up believing that there must be something wrong with you. My Mum cut me out of her life, my Dad left me at aged 4 to this woman. He was never very supportive, not financially or emotionally there fore us. My sister is distant, yet she lives just 10 minutes up the road to me. If I ever challenge her coldness, she cuts me off for months at a time. If I wait for her to call or contact me I will wait forever. I am always the one to call, don't know why I bother. Maybe I have that irrational belief that you can't cut family out. I don't want to be like my Mum, and her father and Grandmother before her. They all did this to each other! My ex husband left me after 19 years together. Everyone leaves. Sometimes, I wish I was an orphan as I have no family at all. I have three kids and a second husband with two step children adults. I have wished to have a proper Mum and sister all my life. I have come to terms with it, as I thought I could fix all of this with my own family. THIS is what drives me crazy. My Mum was a fantastic manipulator, and master of divide and rule, My ex husband still does the same with the children and they have learned this behaviour. Its so sad. I wanted to break the cycle. I have my Grand daughter tonight who is such a pleasure. I don't want her affected by all this toxicity. But its not all down to me. I love your analogy of the Red hair. It is best to move on, and as much as I love my daughter if it wasn't for my Grand daughter I could easily just stay away from her. This sounds very nasty of me, but that is how I feel. I'm keeping the peace because of my Grand daughter. My maternal Grandmother was a lovely, loving woman who suffered at the hands of her husband my Grandfather. She was a kind soul who was the only light and love in my childhood. Why didn't my Mum take after her? My mum hit my Grandmother when she was 15 years old and was always verbally abusive towards her. My Difficult daughter with Borderline (BPD) has also done the same to me when she was young. The connection is there staring at me in the face! Yet today she dropped the baby off, and was quite sweet and even kissed me goodbye? WTH? Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind, I am punch drunk with the craziness of it all! HUGS to you allx . [/QUOTE]
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