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When to cut the ties
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653874" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Wow. Are we related? My mom cut me out of her life. I have a sort of idea why, but it isn't for any reason a normal mother would. And it's not like I didn't do all I could to make it up to her, although I wasn't even sure what "it" was. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you have a cut off sister too. Mine has probably cut me off ten times. The last time we spoke I told her if she did it again it would be forever. She tried to overtalk to me about her abusive boyfriend and I told her I just could not listen to her talk about him anymore because of how he treated her and how she would not end it. She could talk about him every day forever. I set a boundary. I'd listen to her talk about anything in the world except him. She said "But he's a big part of my life." I said, "It's up to you." That's when she did her last cut off, but, actually, it was my decision. And I never try to call her. Not worth the time or abuse. Or drama. My Dad was there and I'm closer to him than the other two. I appreciate how he heas been to me of late. He has listened to me. That doesn't mean we had a close relationship always. We did not. My brother...to be honest, I don't think about him much. He moved away long ago and doesn't bother me much.</p><p></p><p>Adult Orphans Unite!!!!!</p><p></p><p>I don't do cut offs. If somebody cuts me off, I let them these days. The first time my sister did it I went to her house to find out what I'd done because she kept hanging up on me, but she never told me and she called the cops on me, which started a pattern of her calling the cops on me when she didn't want me to call her. </p><p></p><p>We are the nicer ones. We would not cut off our "family" although they don't act like family. We would speak to them, even if we were careful about what we said. It is not as hurtful to have low contact and minimal topics as to be cut off like a mangled thumb. </p><p></p><p>Once we wake up, we realize we actually were a scapegoat for the entire sick family unit.</p><p></p><p>Sorry about this. I'm on a real tear reading about scapegoats now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND! Don't let anyone tell you "that's a lie" when you know it isn't. That type of talk is what triggered my interest in scapegoating and also gaslighting. You know the truth. Your truth is valid and real.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you. Orphans No More!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653874, member: 1550"] Wow. Are we related? My mom cut me out of her life. I have a sort of idea why, but it isn't for any reason a normal mother would. And it's not like I didn't do all I could to make it up to her, although I wasn't even sure what "it" was. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you have a cut off sister too. Mine has probably cut me off ten times. The last time we spoke I told her if she did it again it would be forever. She tried to overtalk to me about her abusive boyfriend and I told her I just could not listen to her talk about him anymore because of how he treated her and how she would not end it. She could talk about him every day forever. I set a boundary. I'd listen to her talk about anything in the world except him. She said "But he's a big part of my life." I said, "It's up to you." That's when she did her last cut off, but, actually, it was my decision. And I never try to call her. Not worth the time or abuse. Or drama. My Dad was there and I'm closer to him than the other two. I appreciate how he heas been to me of late. He has listened to me. That doesn't mean we had a close relationship always. We did not. My brother...to be honest, I don't think about him much. He moved away long ago and doesn't bother me much. Adult Orphans Unite!!!!! I don't do cut offs. If somebody cuts me off, I let them these days. The first time my sister did it I went to her house to find out what I'd done because she kept hanging up on me, but she never told me and she called the cops on me, which started a pattern of her calling the cops on me when she didn't want me to call her. We are the nicer ones. We would not cut off our "family" although they don't act like family. We would speak to them, even if we were careful about what we said. It is not as hurtful to have low contact and minimal topics as to be cut off like a mangled thumb. Once we wake up, we realize we actually were a scapegoat for the entire sick family unit. Sorry about this. I'm on a real tear reading about scapegoats now :) DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND! Don't let anyone tell you "that's a lie" when you know it isn't. That type of talk is what triggered my interest in scapegoating and also gaslighting. You know the truth. Your truth is valid and real. We are here for you. Orphans No More!!! [/QUOTE]
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