Ladies, I am reading more about this specific type of treatment/counseling that we are going thru. While I don't think it is our end-all answer, it is close enough to the therapy I rec'd as a young adult and they are used to working with kids/families in the government systems, so they are the FIRST people we have come across that I think mightt just understand my perspective of my/difficult child's family issues and being involved in CSU/Department of Juvenile Justice in this state. I am jotting down a lot of notes as I read thru their entire l;engthy modality that I fouond online thru a back door. I plan to then type it up in a more coherent way and call counselor and ask for a mtg wwith him prior to Sat's scheduled family session. The issue, to me, is that my family's hx of dysfunction and the therapy I had to trty to be a turning point in my family's hx can be dealt with however, when you have POs (in a state that believes that juvenile POs are there to take over the parental role) dictating everything in the kid's life, how can you ever regain a healthy parental role? We parents end up being the babysitter there to enforce the PO requirements, sign tthe blank checks, chueffer the kid around to appts, and we're then too busy revolving our lives around that to be able tto take care of our own MH and maintain a job and roof over our heads. Untill the people in juvie CSU change, I don'typical teen see how to get out of the revolving door.
Maybe I'm wrong and I'm not doing this to buck the counseling, I'm doing it to start a discussion about how we can make this effective under these circumstances because I think they are the first people who can even understand this perception. If we were in a state where POs backed up healthy parental authority instead of taking over it or undermining it, it would all work, in my humble opinion. Policemen and MH profs have tried to tell POs this and it's been futile in the past so how do we make this work? How can you regain a healthy family structure with the kid seeing the parent as a parent when the PO has taken over that role? What do you do when POs view a parent trying to be a proactive parent as someone challenging their authority and control over the kid?
If nothing else, I'm finding it very therapuetic to read thru their modality, jot down my thoughts, questions, etc, and feel like I can communicate it to someone who will understand what I'm saying and not just respond with "I don't care, you have to do it anyway". At least I hope I won't get that response. I hope they will understand that working toward me having a healthy parental authority can only go so far if PO is acting as the parental authority. I don't know about counselor himself because he's still in training, but his director will be able to understand my perception of my previous therapyy, the resulting family dynamics with difficult child, and my perception of the effects of POs who take over the parental authority. I hope that will be a beginning to something useful and not interpretted as me bucking the system or tthis counseling.
TL, I've not been posting much lately either due to delving into this intensive stuff but you and your difficult children remain in my thoughts, as do many others on this board.
Kathy- it's nice to see you over here and hope you are doing well!
