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When you just cant have a relationship with somebody
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 711914" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RN, I kind of reached that conclusion in my 50s too, but it has been solidified now...I dont have any real drama in my life most of tje time. O have tried over and over with this person and the person kept dumping me. And I took the blame.</p><p></p><p>I have gained so much clarity and this time paid careful attention and this otjer person seems to just be both overly sensitive and crirical to me. Eveeything I say needs to be brought up and examined.</p><p></p><p>My father got very sick and was put in a rehab. I struggled with whether to visit or not but his nurse said he was not in iminant danger and I wanted to go in when I could afford it better and when it did not interfer with work. I dont get paid days off and i also need to organize rides for myself and daughter was not available as there was a death on her partners side and that took up a few weekends. I am four hours away. This person said "You decided to have nothing to do with your dad."</p><p></p><p>I did????</p><p></p><p>I never said that. I am not POA and I live far. I did what I could, called each day and talked to nurse and plan to go in soon. That was just said for meanness. This person lives near where he is staying so she visits and does what I would do if he was 10 minutes from me. I would help make decisions if I had the power or was asked for my opinion. I am unsure what else I can do.</p><p></p><p>That deliberately mean statement was for me because I did not go right in after I was told this was not fatal. I love my dad. I am coming in...I can better afford it now and I took days off work. If the rehab calls and says there is an emergency, we will drop all and drive right in.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, once Dad is gone, we will probably have no reason to ever speak again.</p><p></p><p>And for the first time, it is a relief. This is much like how my Mom spoke to me and we never could form a relationship either. They are much alike, to my shock.</p><p></p><p>I love this person but cant play silly games at my age. Thanks for checking in <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 711914, member: 1550"] RN, I kind of reached that conclusion in my 50s too, but it has been solidified now...I dont have any real drama in my life most of tje time. O have tried over and over with this person and the person kept dumping me. And I took the blame. I have gained so much clarity and this time paid careful attention and this otjer person seems to just be both overly sensitive and crirical to me. Eveeything I say needs to be brought up and examined. My father got very sick and was put in a rehab. I struggled with whether to visit or not but his nurse said he was not in iminant danger and I wanted to go in when I could afford it better and when it did not interfer with work. I dont get paid days off and i also need to organize rides for myself and daughter was not available as there was a death on her partners side and that took up a few weekends. I am four hours away. This person said "You decided to have nothing to do with your dad." I did???? I never said that. I am not POA and I live far. I did what I could, called each day and talked to nurse and plan to go in soon. That was just said for meanness. This person lives near where he is staying so she visits and does what I would do if he was 10 minutes from me. I would help make decisions if I had the power or was asked for my opinion. I am unsure what else I can do. That deliberately mean statement was for me because I did not go right in after I was told this was not fatal. I love my dad. I am coming in...I can better afford it now and I took days off work. If the rehab calls and says there is an emergency, we will drop all and drive right in. Anyway, once Dad is gone, we will probably have no reason to ever speak again. And for the first time, it is a relief. This is much like how my Mom spoke to me and we never could form a relationship either. They are much alike, to my shock. I love this person but cant play silly games at my age. Thanks for checking in :) [/QUOTE]
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When you just cant have a relationship with somebody
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