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When your adult child steals from you...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 676050" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion, no, it means your daughter made a decision to probably hang out with bad peers and copy them and probably use drugs. You can't help her. She is too old. She doesn't have to listen to anything you tell her. More often than not, continuing to support their toys, feed them, give them a car on our own dime and make their lives comfy while they abuse us and don't launch is not at all useful and does not help the adult. It just makes them more a child.</p><p></p><p>Although we have diverse opinions here, mine is that to help a young adult move on in life by no longer playing mommy is a kindness. How long can she stay? Until she is 32? You did not make her this way. They all say that just to make us feel guilty. At any rate, she is old enough to get help herself. You can't do it f or her. But you may have to see her tears to help her grow up and you may have to hear the very common, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME OR YOU'D DO WHAT I WANT!" Sounds a bit like a kindergartner, no? It is a manipulation to get to us.</p><p></p><p>I a had horrible, abusive family. Nobody helped me after I was eighteen and I had real challenges. It was better that I had to do things without them or I may have leaned into my disabilities and acted like a spoiled princess. I had to do it myself, my way.</p><p></p><p>We all have to take our own life's walks and they legally start at eighteen, when our parents have no more control over our choices. You have walked your life and I'll bet you were a GREAT parent or you wouldn't be so worried about your adult daughter now. Your daughter has to and will walk her own path in life. She may or may not make good decisions, but at her age, it is on her shoulders, not yours.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 676050, member: 1550"] in my opinion, no, it means your daughter made a decision to probably hang out with bad peers and copy them and probably use drugs. You can't help her. She is too old. She doesn't have to listen to anything you tell her. More often than not, continuing to support their toys, feed them, give them a car on our own dime and make their lives comfy while they abuse us and don't launch is not at all useful and does not help the adult. It just makes them more a child. Although we have diverse opinions here, mine is that to help a young adult move on in life by no longer playing mommy is a kindness. How long can she stay? Until she is 32? You did not make her this way. They all say that just to make us feel guilty. At any rate, she is old enough to get help herself. You can't do it f or her. But you may have to see her tears to help her grow up and you may have to hear the very common, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME OR YOU'D DO WHAT I WANT!" Sounds a bit like a kindergartner, no? It is a manipulation to get to us. I a had horrible, abusive family. Nobody helped me after I was eighteen and I had real challenges. It was better that I had to do things without them or I may have leaned into my disabilities and acted like a spoiled princess. I had to do it myself, my way. We all have to take our own life's walks and they legally start at eighteen, when our parents have no more control over our choices. You have walked your life and I'll bet you were a GREAT parent or you wouldn't be so worried about your adult daughter now. Your daughter has to and will walk her own path in life. She may or may not make good decisions, but at her age, it is on her shoulders, not yours. Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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