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Family of Origin
When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 670588" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Feeling,</p><p></p><p>Thank you for asking about us. My son has been calling every day. He has time on his hands because the daily working has stopped, now that summer is over. He seems not to be working at all and spends all of his time on the computer up to no good. Again the disasters are every day, all of the time. M thinks he is angling to come back here, and now that he mentions it, I think that may be the case.</p><p></p><p>Yesterday my son called and would not stop with the haranguing including about the Jews, which I draw the line at. He seems to believe that Sephardic Jews are descendants of the reptilian-martian species he believes in, as opposed to Ashkenazi, which I am. Like it makes a difference. He implored me to look at a youtube video of the Aipac convention (American Israel Pac) with a lady that "looks like Grandma" without a nose. (The sign of reptilian lineage.) Why in the world did I stay on the phone?</p><p></p><p>And then he mentioned getting into an argument with the father-brazilian about a biblical passage. I asked him, are you motivated to continue living there? Because insulting somebody about their deeply held beliefs seems counterproductive. He tried to assert that lack of proof nullified the man's beliefs and I asked him if he could site the proof for his own and what was the difference. And again reminded him of his self-interest and whether he was prepared with an alternative living situation.</p><p></p><p>He did call back and apologize for his strident tone. And I was encouraged. He attributed it to his illness. For a second I was hopeful and believed he was developing some insight.</p><p></p><p>I was sick until the early hours. Physically ill.</p><p></p><p>He called again this morning and I told him right off the bat: I will not get into it with you. It makes me ill. If you want to spend your time immersed in catastrophes or conspiracies, fine. But I choose not to. If you want to talk about something constructive and productive, that is something altogether different. In that case I will help you if I can.</p><p></p><p>What will you do to help me? </p><p></p><p>Come up with a constructive goal and put it into place. We will talk about it then. I will not do it for you.</p><p></p><p>Wednesday is his appointment with the liver doctor. I do not want to fight with him before that.</p><p></p><p>But I am worried now because if he does not have stable housing and any constructive activity that does not bode well for his maintaining treatment.</p><p></p><p>M thinks that my son will not be kicked out by the Brazilian Dad. M thinks my son will leave rather than pay rent--which is what happened last time. My son did not want to pay his part of the rent, and left to avoid doing so. The Dad asked for $500 which represented a quarter of the rent and bills. My son balked at that.</p><p></p><p>His SSI is about $900. That would still have left money for food and spending.</p><p></p><p>My son wants others to take responsibility for him.</p><p></p><p>It is much cheaper for him to live here where I live, but it is a disaster. He is preyed upon by everybody and lives very marginally. I pray he does not return here. I pray he does not return here. He hates it here. Does he not remember?</p><p></p><p>If he comes back here it will really motivate me to leave. But there really is no escape, because if my son is disorganized and marginal he will stop taking his liver medicine. The same liver medicine he is not taking now.</p><p></p><p>He was doing so good when he was working.</p><p></p><p>M says the reason his friend is not putting my son to work is because my son is not serious. The friend told my son it is because H has to favor his existing crew. But M says that if my son showed initiative and motivation he would be working, still.</p><p></p><p>I have several names of therapists who are pretty much local to me. I am thinking I need to follow through. The thing is I really think very little of most therapists.</p><p></p><p>I am a little bit better, but not that much. How are you, Feeling?</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 670588, member: 18958"] Hi Feeling, Thank you for asking about us. My son has been calling every day. He has time on his hands because the daily working has stopped, now that summer is over. He seems not to be working at all and spends all of his time on the computer up to no good. Again the disasters are every day, all of the time. M thinks he is angling to come back here, and now that he mentions it, I think that may be the case. Yesterday my son called and would not stop with the haranguing including about the Jews, which I draw the line at. He seems to believe that Sephardic Jews are descendants of the reptilian-martian species he believes in, as opposed to Ashkenazi, which I am. Like it makes a difference. He implored me to look at a youtube video of the Aipac convention (American Israel Pac) with a lady that "looks like Grandma" without a nose. (The sign of reptilian lineage.) Why in the world did I stay on the phone? And then he mentioned getting into an argument with the father-brazilian about a biblical passage. I asked him, are you motivated to continue living there? Because insulting somebody about their deeply held beliefs seems counterproductive. He tried to assert that lack of proof nullified the man's beliefs and I asked him if he could site the proof for his own and what was the difference. And again reminded him of his self-interest and whether he was prepared with an alternative living situation. He did call back and apologize for his strident tone. And I was encouraged. He attributed it to his illness. For a second I was hopeful and believed he was developing some insight. I was sick until the early hours. Physically ill. He called again this morning and I told him right off the bat: I will not get into it with you. It makes me ill. If you want to spend your time immersed in catastrophes or conspiracies, fine. But I choose not to. If you want to talk about something constructive and productive, that is something altogether different. In that case I will help you if I can. What will you do to help me? Come up with a constructive goal and put it into place. We will talk about it then. I will not do it for you. Wednesday is his appointment with the liver doctor. I do not want to fight with him before that. But I am worried now because if he does not have stable housing and any constructive activity that does not bode well for his maintaining treatment. M thinks that my son will not be kicked out by the Brazilian Dad. M thinks my son will leave rather than pay rent--which is what happened last time. My son did not want to pay his part of the rent, and left to avoid doing so. The Dad asked for $500 which represented a quarter of the rent and bills. My son balked at that. His SSI is about $900. That would still have left money for food and spending. My son wants others to take responsibility for him. It is much cheaper for him to live here where I live, but it is a disaster. He is preyed upon by everybody and lives very marginally. I pray he does not return here. I pray he does not return here. He hates it here. Does he not remember? If he comes back here it will really motivate me to leave. But there really is no escape, because if my son is disorganized and marginal he will stop taking his liver medicine. The same liver medicine he is not taking now. He was doing so good when he was working. M says the reason his friend is not putting my son to work is because my son is not serious. The friend told my son it is because H has to favor his existing crew. But M says that if my son showed initiative and motivation he would be working, still. I have several names of therapists who are pretty much local to me. I am thinking I need to follow through. The thing is I really think very little of most therapists. I am a little bit better, but not that much. How are you, Feeling? COPA [/QUOTE]
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When your past as a child, follows you as a mother, as a person.
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