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Substance Abuse
Where to go from here with our difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 305615" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Hi there. Wow. Sounds like you are stressed right out, understandably!!</p><p>I'm in Canada too (northern Ontario). There is an upside to her age. She is still your legal responsability as you know. However it also means you can dictate where she is! And right now, sounds like she needs a secure environment and some intervention in some way before these legal things become an adult criminal record, and before she comes to serious harm via addiciton or her hooking. </p><p>First, with her upcoming charges. In young offender court, she must have a Pre Sentence Report produced by a probation officer. This will be given to the judge in considering her sentence. YOU HAVE A TON OF INPUT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE IT! This is a good thing! You can go about this a few ways, even better, do them all!</p><p>Contact your local children mental health agency. Find out about local or nearby residential treatment programs (not necessarily drug/alcohol treatment, just residential treatment if thats all that is offered). Find out what programs she qualifies for. In Ontario anyhow, it can be a long wait for these programs. However, if court ordered from a YOA judge, it speeds things up and a bed is located asap. </p><p>Find out about drug/treatment programs for her age, addictions and mental health issues. Find out about where there are beds available and who accepts quick intake when ordered by the young offender judge. </p><p>Find out what local secure custody young offender facilities have programs for addictions or mental health or behavioural programs.</p><p>Give all of this information to the probation officer, and discuss in depth with them that you want and need the judge to order her to either drug/alcohol treatment, residential treatment, or if all else fails, a young offender facility. For her OWN good. To help her while you still have the parental power and control, before she blows it as an adult and gets deeper into her addictions and criminal behaviours. Be honest with the probation officer so that the judge will know, aside from whatever charges she appears in court about, what she is up to. Her behaviour shows she is a risk to herself. </p><p>You don't need a court order to get her in treatment, especially residential treatment for behaviour/mental health problems. So you could start the ball rolling there too all on your own. </p><p>Beyond these practical steps, I'm so sorry you're facing all of this. It sounds as if your family is hostage to her comings and goings. Please discuss as a family what you plan to do if she breaks her curfew. Reporting her breach of her release should she not comply, will get you in front of a judge quicker. Between 16-18 is a tricky place in Canada with our laws. However, the courts and the police know this! You can refuse to have her conditions of a release send her home to you. This can help a judge see that you know she needs help and they cna't turn her out to the street. The court can be your ally right now and better now when she's young enough that her criminal charges will be cleared from her record, than in a few years when she'll have this haunt her the rest of her life.</p><p>Again, hugs to you! This is a good place with good people. You'll find great support here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 305615, member: 4264"] Hi there. Wow. Sounds like you are stressed right out, understandably!! I'm in Canada too (northern Ontario). There is an upside to her age. She is still your legal responsability as you know. However it also means you can dictate where she is! And right now, sounds like she needs a secure environment and some intervention in some way before these legal things become an adult criminal record, and before she comes to serious harm via addiciton or her hooking. First, with her upcoming charges. In young offender court, she must have a Pre Sentence Report produced by a probation officer. This will be given to the judge in considering her sentence. YOU HAVE A TON OF INPUT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE IT! This is a good thing! You can go about this a few ways, even better, do them all! Contact your local children mental health agency. Find out about local or nearby residential treatment programs (not necessarily drug/alcohol treatment, just residential treatment if thats all that is offered). Find out what programs she qualifies for. In Ontario anyhow, it can be a long wait for these programs. However, if court ordered from a YOA judge, it speeds things up and a bed is located asap. Find out about drug/treatment programs for her age, addictions and mental health issues. Find out about where there are beds available and who accepts quick intake when ordered by the young offender judge. Find out what local secure custody young offender facilities have programs for addictions or mental health or behavioural programs. Give all of this information to the probation officer, and discuss in depth with them that you want and need the judge to order her to either drug/alcohol treatment, residential treatment, or if all else fails, a young offender facility. For her OWN good. To help her while you still have the parental power and control, before she blows it as an adult and gets deeper into her addictions and criminal behaviours. Be honest with the probation officer so that the judge will know, aside from whatever charges she appears in court about, what she is up to. Her behaviour shows she is a risk to herself. You don't need a court order to get her in treatment, especially residential treatment for behaviour/mental health problems. So you could start the ball rolling there too all on your own. Beyond these practical steps, I'm so sorry you're facing all of this. It sounds as if your family is hostage to her comings and goings. Please discuss as a family what you plan to do if she breaks her curfew. Reporting her breach of her release should she not comply, will get you in front of a judge quicker. Between 16-18 is a tricky place in Canada with our laws. However, the courts and the police know this! You can refuse to have her conditions of a release send her home to you. This can help a judge see that you know she needs help and they cna't turn her out to the street. The court can be your ally right now and better now when she's young enough that her criminal charges will be cleared from her record, than in a few years when she'll have this haunt her the rest of her life. Again, hugs to you! This is a good place with good people. You'll find great support here. [/QUOTE]
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