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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 222316" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is this a child adopted out of foster care? (We have one child that way). If so, expect a long and hard road. These kids come with challenges that biological kids don't have (nor kids adopted as infants). It may take a while to find out what is wrong, and I'd test her privately and by a neuropsychologist. To me, they do the best, most intensive, most accurate testing (and we've tried them all). We never had much luck with the diagnoses or "help" we got from the State. Was she exposed to drugs/alcohol in utero? If so, you have to wonder if she has any fetal alcohol effects. That you would see by her remembering things one day and forgetting them the next and not understanding consequences. That can mimic Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which is in my opinion only often handed out to all kids with problems who are adopted. HOWEVER, I do think most older adopted children have some attachment issues--I just don't believe it is the entire problem. You have to also ask: Was she sexually abused? I was shocked to learn that most kids in foster care have been. I was fortunate that the son we adopted was not--he only lived in one foster home for two years with responsible people. Not all foster parents are good ones. We adopted two other boys (the adoptions didn't work out) who had been sexually abused and acted out on our younger adopted kids. We hadn't know about the sexual abuse, nor did the social workers! Or the child may be on the autism spectrum or have a mood disorder or have a combination of issues. Our adopted kids from foster care are very complicated and hard to diagnose. Do you know anything at all about the birthparents? We didn't have much info other than she was a drug addict who left our precious boy in the hospital after giving birth to him. Our son is a precious teen now, on the autism spectrum, but doing VERY well, so there is lots and lots of hope. But we had to keep plugging to find out what was wrong. Have you signed up for any adoption forums of kids with special needs? That helped me too. </p><p>Welcome to the board <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I look forward to hearing more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 222316, member: 1550"] Is this a child adopted out of foster care? (We have one child that way). If so, expect a long and hard road. These kids come with challenges that biological kids don't have (nor kids adopted as infants). It may take a while to find out what is wrong, and I'd test her privately and by a neuropsychologist. To me, they do the best, most intensive, most accurate testing (and we've tried them all). We never had much luck with the diagnoses or "help" we got from the State. Was she exposed to drugs/alcohol in utero? If so, you have to wonder if she has any fetal alcohol effects. That you would see by her remembering things one day and forgetting them the next and not understanding consequences. That can mimic Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which is in my opinion only often handed out to all kids with problems who are adopted. HOWEVER, I do think most older adopted children have some attachment issues--I just don't believe it is the entire problem. You have to also ask: Was she sexually abused? I was shocked to learn that most kids in foster care have been. I was fortunate that the son we adopted was not--he only lived in one foster home for two years with responsible people. Not all foster parents are good ones. We adopted two other boys (the adoptions didn't work out) who had been sexually abused and acted out on our younger adopted kids. We hadn't know about the sexual abuse, nor did the social workers! Or the child may be on the autism spectrum or have a mood disorder or have a combination of issues. Our adopted kids from foster care are very complicated and hard to diagnose. Do you know anything at all about the birthparents? We didn't have much info other than she was a drug addict who left our precious boy in the hospital after giving birth to him. Our son is a precious teen now, on the autism spectrum, but doing VERY well, so there is lots and lots of hope. But we had to keep plugging to find out what was wrong. Have you signed up for any adoption forums of kids with special needs? That helped me too. Welcome to the board :) I look forward to hearing more. [/QUOTE]
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