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Substance Abuse
Where will he go?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 594575" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>HI Karen, this is not my area of expertise, there will be others along who have been there done that with a kid who is using. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if there are any right answers to your inquiry, as you can see from many of our posts, we all struggle with what the boundary is between allowing the behaviors and just throwing them overboard completely. Somewhere in there is the balance point you can live with. And your son is young too. Are there shelters in your area? Is there a YMCA or inexpensive housing which might provide a sort of in between respite for you from him and his antics and for him to perhaps realize you mean business? He wouldn't have his old comfy room at home and at the same time, he is facing consequences for his actions. I've heard that alternative mentioned by other parents here. In the towns around where I live there are these cheaper motels that rent by the month, if you can afford that, you might try it month to month with a cut off point in say 3-6 months where he will have to work to support himself at that point. But, at least he can have some time on his own to figure something out, <em>or not.</em> But, this way, you might feel better too. Sort of a transitional period for all of you. In the meantime you could explore other options. I am no expert here, just another mom, I feel for you, it's a terrible place to be. </p><p></p><p>You can't live with it and your heart hurts to just cut him loose when he really has no skills to take care of himself. He has a mental disorder, have you contacted NAMI? (National Alliance on Mental Illness) They may be able to provide you with some options. You can access them online, they are all over.</p><p></p><p>If it were me, I think I would look into alternatives between him living at your home and throwing him out. I say that because of his age and his Bipolar. But, really, the most important thing is for you to follow your heart, only you can decide what is ultimately the right thing to do for you and for your family, and for him too. It's a tough call no matter how you look at it. I wish you peace and for a solution to arrive which brings you solace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 594575, member: 13542"] HI Karen, this is not my area of expertise, there will be others along who have been there done that with a kid who is using. I don't know if there are any right answers to your inquiry, as you can see from many of our posts, we all struggle with what the boundary is between allowing the behaviors and just throwing them overboard completely. Somewhere in there is the balance point you can live with. And your son is young too. Are there shelters in your area? Is there a YMCA or inexpensive housing which might provide a sort of in between respite for you from him and his antics and for him to perhaps realize you mean business? He wouldn't have his old comfy room at home and at the same time, he is facing consequences for his actions. I've heard that alternative mentioned by other parents here. In the towns around where I live there are these cheaper motels that rent by the month, if you can afford that, you might try it month to month with a cut off point in say 3-6 months where he will have to work to support himself at that point. But, at least he can have some time on his own to figure something out, [I]or not.[/I] But, this way, you might feel better too. Sort of a transitional period for all of you. In the meantime you could explore other options. I am no expert here, just another mom, I feel for you, it's a terrible place to be. You can't live with it and your heart hurts to just cut him loose when he really has no skills to take care of himself. He has a mental disorder, have you contacted NAMI? (National Alliance on Mental Illness) They may be able to provide you with some options. You can access them online, they are all over. If it were me, I think I would look into alternatives between him living at your home and throwing him out. I say that because of his age and his Bipolar. But, really, the most important thing is for you to follow your heart, only you can decide what is ultimately the right thing to do for you and for your family, and for him too. It's a tough call no matter how you look at it. I wish you peace and for a solution to arrive which brings you solace. [/QUOTE]
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