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Parent Emeritus
Whew/Phew . . . I have my empty nest back.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 492425" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I wish we could get inside their heads. She sounds like my difficult child when she explains herself. I'm not sure there is an explanation for why they stole or did any number of other unscrupulous things they did while using other than addicts lie, cheat and steal just because. They don;t have to be high or intoxicated at the time, it is part of their addictive mentality. I still remember difficult child's treatment center counselor telling us that's the way addicts behave. They can try to justify it or explain it but they do it because their values and ethics are all screwed up. </p><p></p><p>The fact that she didn't steal anything the few days she was home is hardly proof she has changed. husband and I hid all our money and valuable before difficult child came home for christmas. There just isn't enough proof for me that she wouldn't steal if given the chance. I don't think a few months of sobriety changes things that much. If difficult child asked to come home I would remind her that things would go back to the way they were with us because I would still be suspicious and watching her every movement and she needs to grow in her sobriety. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like your difficult child is scared and she wants to come home because it would be easy for her, you would be there to take care of her and she wouldn't have to do it all on her own. In a way I feel bad for our difficult child's. It's not the way we hoped our kids would go off on their own. I think if your difficult child found a job she would feel differently about things. Right now she is looking for someone to take care of her instead of figuring out how to take care of herself.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 492425, member: 59"] I wish we could get inside their heads. She sounds like my difficult child when she explains herself. I'm not sure there is an explanation for why they stole or did any number of other unscrupulous things they did while using other than addicts lie, cheat and steal just because. They don;t have to be high or intoxicated at the time, it is part of their addictive mentality. I still remember difficult child's treatment center counselor telling us that's the way addicts behave. They can try to justify it or explain it but they do it because their values and ethics are all screwed up. The fact that she didn't steal anything the few days she was home is hardly proof she has changed. husband and I hid all our money and valuable before difficult child came home for christmas. There just isn't enough proof for me that she wouldn't steal if given the chance. I don't think a few months of sobriety changes things that much. If difficult child asked to come home I would remind her that things would go back to the way they were with us because I would still be suspicious and watching her every movement and she needs to grow in her sobriety. It sounds like your difficult child is scared and she wants to come home because it would be easy for her, you would be there to take care of her and she wouldn't have to do it all on her own. In a way I feel bad for our difficult child's. It's not the way we hoped our kids would go off on their own. I think if your difficult child found a job she would feel differently about things. Right now she is looking for someone to take care of her instead of figuring out how to take care of herself. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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