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Parent Emeritus
Whew/Phew . . . I have my empty nest back.
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 492479"><p>When difficult child first flirted with substances as a 16yo, he was assessed and found to be a substance abuser but had not crossed the line into addict. As far as I can tell (for now) - he has not crossed that line YET.</p><p></p><p>Frankly, it doesn't matter to me. An addict is someone who has become physically dependent. You don't have to be an abuser to become an addict. Chemical dependency is not something that can be chosen. I always tell my kids - you only get to choose to use drugs or alcohol the first time. After that, drugs or alcohol may choose you. No one starts thinking they'll be an addict and you never know if it will be your 2nd time or your 222nd time that will trigger dependency. </p><p></p><p>Long story short, I tend to think of substance abuse as a far greater "sin" than physical addiction. Honestly, I long to tell my difficult child "the fact that you superiorly state that you CHOOSE smoke weed and CHOOSE not to stop (when it's clear that it has a negative effect on your life) makes you less respectable than an addict as far as I am concerned." But of course, I won't say it. Not today anyway.</p><p></p><p>I hope i am making sense. Its late here & I am a bit punchy. As an aside, no news here. Just playing nice, biding time until the inevitable "hash it out" (no pun intended) talk to clear the air. We are putting it off until the pcs are back in school. Don't want to ruin their short break if it gets stormy. And I am still emotionally spent from my extended family Christmas where my bros & SILS acted like entitled brats. Ugh hohoho</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 492479"] When difficult child first flirted with substances as a 16yo, he was assessed and found to be a substance abuser but had not crossed the line into addict. As far as I can tell (for now) - he has not crossed that line YET. Frankly, it doesn't matter to me. An addict is someone who has become physically dependent. You don't have to be an abuser to become an addict. Chemical dependency is not something that can be chosen. I always tell my kids - you only get to choose to use drugs or alcohol the first time. After that, drugs or alcohol may choose you. No one starts thinking they'll be an addict and you never know if it will be your 2nd time or your 222nd time that will trigger dependency. Long story short, I tend to think of substance abuse as a far greater "sin" than physical addiction. Honestly, I long to tell my difficult child "the fact that you superiorly state that you CHOOSE smoke weed and CHOOSE not to stop (when it's clear that it has a negative effect on your life) makes you less respectable than an addict as far as I am concerned." But of course, I won't say it. Not today anyway. I hope i am making sense. Its late here & I am a bit punchy. As an aside, no news here. Just playing nice, biding time until the inevitable "hash it out" (no pun intended) talk to clear the air. We are putting it off until the pcs are back in school. Don't want to ruin their short break if it gets stormy. And I am still emotionally spent from my extended family Christmas where my bros & SILS acted like entitled brats. Ugh hohoho [/QUOTE]
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Whew/Phew . . . I have my empty nest back.
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