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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 347760" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>That's the only way I can describe my mind right now. I met with PO today- he was all over the board talkiing out of both sides of his mouth and then started saying stuff that were the same as the previous probation officer had said but then would say just the opposite. I felt like I had been given the biggest BS in the world and then he went off about me not trusting them and how this interfered with their rehab of difficult child. How could anyone trust people who talk out of both sides of their mouth?</p><p></p><p>The mentor- he doubles as difficult child's best buddy and "helping" the PO monitor difficult child to make sure he's being compliant, according to PO. PO says they don't do behav mod- clearly there website says that is what the mentor does and the woman on the phone told me they tell difficult child expectations then use rewards and consequences then report to PO. What would you call it? He asked wwhy I was against a mentor- I said I wasn't- but I don't like being BS'd. He said it was either this or I would have to bring difficult child in for him to see him 5 times a month, which would I rather do. I said I'd rather bring difficult child in 5 times a month and sign him up at Big Brothers where at least I'd know he get a real mentor. He said these were real mentors and he's not allowing that option.</p><p></p><p>At one point he was saying we'll work thru things, at another pouint he's saying if I cancel an appointment, I and difficult child both will be found noncompliant and be pulled over to the courts, at another he says he told the lady to negotiate times with me and he understands if we can't make all the set times every week. He says he just can't understand why I'm so uncomfortable with giving this a chance and why I'm judging him based on what other people have done or said in the past.</p><p></p><p>I told PO we were the same in the exact same place as the day difficult child flipped out and pulled the knife on me. He told me in a very indirect way that it was my problem.</p><p></p><p>I was in tears when I came home and called him and told him that I thought we should discuss if difficult child should even come home. Then PO was back to being the nicest person in the world and he just couldn't understand why I didn't want to give this a chance. I told him that there were obviously too many hard feelings and mistrust and negative stuff between me and the people over there and I realize they all think I''m difficult child's biggest problem so at this point, it's so much like a bad marriage that it doesn't even matter anymore who's to blame for waht. We can't even agree on what difficult child's problem is. They think I don't want to support their efforts; I feel like they are contributing to our problems. But I think this is setting difficult child up for failure and if they are so convinced that I'm difficult child's big problem, why would they want to send him back here? He claimed he had no idea what the previous PO's attitude was toward me or what she thought (can't be true because he had said her exact words in the earlier meeting today) and he wasn't like her and he had looked into group homes as a possibility but difficult child didn't qualify for any they had access to so we had no option but he himself did not think I was such a bad parent- he said he didn't even know me. (Never mind he'd just sat in his office and said the opposite.)</p><p></p><p>I asked him what I needed to do to move difficult child out of state- if there had to be a month waiting period for paperwork to go thru and so forth. He said no, just let him know address ahead of time, then move with difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 347760, member: 3699"] That's the only way I can describe my mind right now. I met with PO today- he was all over the board talkiing out of both sides of his mouth and then started saying stuff that were the same as the previous probation officer had said but then would say just the opposite. I felt like I had been given the biggest BS in the world and then he went off about me not trusting them and how this interfered with their rehab of difficult child. How could anyone trust people who talk out of both sides of their mouth? The mentor- he doubles as difficult child's best buddy and "helping" the PO monitor difficult child to make sure he's being compliant, according to PO. PO says they don't do behav mod- clearly there website says that is what the mentor does and the woman on the phone told me they tell difficult child expectations then use rewards and consequences then report to PO. What would you call it? He asked wwhy I was against a mentor- I said I wasn't- but I don't like being BS'd. He said it was either this or I would have to bring difficult child in for him to see him 5 times a month, which would I rather do. I said I'd rather bring difficult child in 5 times a month and sign him up at Big Brothers where at least I'd know he get a real mentor. He said these were real mentors and he's not allowing that option. At one point he was saying we'll work thru things, at another pouint he's saying if I cancel an appointment, I and difficult child both will be found noncompliant and be pulled over to the courts, at another he says he told the lady to negotiate times with me and he understands if we can't make all the set times every week. He says he just can't understand why I'm so uncomfortable with giving this a chance and why I'm judging him based on what other people have done or said in the past. I told PO we were the same in the exact same place as the day difficult child flipped out and pulled the knife on me. He told me in a very indirect way that it was my problem. I was in tears when I came home and called him and told him that I thought we should discuss if difficult child should even come home. Then PO was back to being the nicest person in the world and he just couldn't understand why I didn't want to give this a chance. I told him that there were obviously too many hard feelings and mistrust and negative stuff between me and the people over there and I realize they all think I''m difficult child's biggest problem so at this point, it's so much like a bad marriage that it doesn't even matter anymore who's to blame for waht. We can't even agree on what difficult child's problem is. They think I don't want to support their efforts; I feel like they are contributing to our problems. But I think this is setting difficult child up for failure and if they are so convinced that I'm difficult child's big problem, why would they want to send him back here? He claimed he had no idea what the previous PO's attitude was toward me or what she thought (can't be true because he had said her exact words in the earlier meeting today) and he wasn't like her and he had looked into group homes as a possibility but difficult child didn't qualify for any they had access to so we had no option but he himself did not think I was such a bad parent- he said he didn't even know me. (Never mind he'd just sat in his office and said the opposite.) I asked him what I needed to do to move difficult child out of state- if there had to be a month waiting period for paperwork to go thru and so forth. He said no, just let him know address ahead of time, then move with difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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