Who is this child, she can't be my daughter

[Mom2oddson]

I'm not even sure where to begin....

We thought the suicide attempt and the drug addiction were bad, now we are finding out more stuff. She's been lying, and manipulating people. She's been causing hate and discontent through-out the family. She's been a puppet-master in how things have been going.

Last summer, difficult child 1 called husband saying that his Sis had called because I was beating her. When you talked with Sis (difficult child 2), she hasn't a clue and is actually very upset about such a hurtful thing happening. (She's going to win an Academy Award someday)... we Believed difficult child 2....difficult child 1 stopped talking to us since we wouldn't believe him.

Well, since difficult child 2 has been in treatment, difficult child 2 has been visiting every weekend. He's getting his act together. He could easily move up to easy child level soon... anyways, since things were going good between us, he let us listen to some of the voice mails from his Sis....not good.

Okay, so now husband and I are filled with guilt for not believing difficult child 1 and guilt for believing difficult child 2. What a mess.

And in less than 24 hours we get to pick up difficult child 2 and bring her home. When we talked to her on Saturday, her mood was bad enough that we know it won't be a fun trip.

But what really gets me is that I think there is a lot more going on with difficult child 2 besides BiPolar (BP) and drugs. I'm actually wondering if there isn't some type of personality disorder? She's suicidal, she's become a cutter, her has a hair-trigger temper....

Any advice on how to deal with this?

 

[BusynMember]

If she is using drugs, that's probably why she is doing the other stuff too. Also may be why she has a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis--it's hard to diagnose a child who is on drugs. That changes your personality completely. Cutting/suicide/hair-trigger-temper---sounds familiar. Reminds me of my daughter on meth or cocaine.

in my opinion it's a more serious drug problem than you think and you won't know if anything else is going on until she stops. We usually only know the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how much our kids abuse drugs. They certainly don't tell us the truth, and we don't want to think the worst.

 

[busywend]

I think you should let the treatment center hear the voice mails. It might tell them something.

Maybe another evaluation. Sometimes if all the facts are not clear the diagnosis is wrong.

 

[compassion]

Get supports for you and for her. I am dealing with similar situation. daughter has been in treatment since Feb. 3. Boundariea,boundaries, boundaries.
Today, I am taking her to one of last neuropysch appts. and her last community service and family therapy. It is very imlportant to put as much on HER as possible , to practice detachment and boudaries. Compassion

 

[Lucedaleblessed]

Based on what my husband was told at the camp, the cutting is caused because she has something to deal with that a therapist needs to digg out if she herself dont open up.

The drugs is a tool to overcome unsecurity and in some case a stronger method to avoid dealing with her problems. The cutting is not enough. She may act as she is tough, but she is hurting and the trick of crying fire in the direction of a sibling is a very good way of turning your attention away from problems she is not ready to deal with.

The temper is the drugs.

Right now I am thinking of buying an adult diaper. We are all going to a rope course in the weekend and I dont like heights, but our daughter needs to know that she is capable of much more than she believes. In our family we have not seen drugs yet and the cutting is not going on very often. It can go both ways and we have to expose our selves as family to some extreme activities regardless of how scared I am, so she can see that we are ready to change.