Why are people so mean?
A bit of background: My mom is moving in early January to an independent living place that is attached to an assisted living place and a nursing home. She can't move around much and walks with a walker. She has fallen quite a bit and it will be good for her to be where she is going. My mom has always had mental health issues and isn't the easiest person to get along with but has a big heart. She also has very little self esteem.
Yesterday my brother & his wife and husband, difficult child, and I went to help her pack. For us it is about a 2 1/2 hour drive and for them about an hour. We got a lot packed up but did not completely finish. Mom gave one of her tables and a desk to the neighbor ("friend") next door.
This lady is not a very nice lady but Mom considers her a friend.
Today: Mom calls me in tears sobbing. Her "friend" told her that she is a huge inconvenience to her kids and that we couldn't afford to be coming and helping her pack. She told mom she doesn't listen to anyone and that she wouldn't be able to fit 1/2 of her stuff in her new apartment. My mom, who has very little self esteem believed everything and called to apologize.
I was so angry! I told my mom that she needs to stop inviting that woman over. She has done similar things before. I was able to calm her (after about 30 minutes) but I know she was still upset. Even difficult child talked to her and tried to calm her. I also told my mom that there is probably a reason why this woman's 10 brothers and sisters want nothing to do with her.
What I can't figure out is why this woman who made incorrect inferences felt the need to share them with my mom. Who does that?
I wish my mom could just move now so she wouldn't have to deal with this woman anymore!
Thanks for listening; this just had me so upset I needed to vent. I was actually in tears for awhile after the phone call.
A bit of background: My mom is moving in early January to an independent living place that is attached to an assisted living place and a nursing home. She can't move around much and walks with a walker. She has fallen quite a bit and it will be good for her to be where she is going. My mom has always had mental health issues and isn't the easiest person to get along with but has a big heart. She also has very little self esteem.
Yesterday my brother & his wife and husband, difficult child, and I went to help her pack. For us it is about a 2 1/2 hour drive and for them about an hour. We got a lot packed up but did not completely finish. Mom gave one of her tables and a desk to the neighbor ("friend") next door.
This lady is not a very nice lady but Mom considers her a friend.
Today: Mom calls me in tears sobbing. Her "friend" told her that she is a huge inconvenience to her kids and that we couldn't afford to be coming and helping her pack. She told mom she doesn't listen to anyone and that she wouldn't be able to fit 1/2 of her stuff in her new apartment. My mom, who has very little self esteem believed everything and called to apologize.
I was so angry! I told my mom that she needs to stop inviting that woman over. She has done similar things before. I was able to calm her (after about 30 minutes) but I know she was still upset. Even difficult child talked to her and tried to calm her. I also told my mom that there is probably a reason why this woman's 10 brothers and sisters want nothing to do with her.
What I can't figure out is why this woman who made incorrect inferences felt the need to share them with my mom. Who does that?
I wish my mom could just move now so she wouldn't have to deal with this woman anymore!
Thanks for listening; this just had me so upset I needed to vent. I was actually in tears for awhile after the phone call.