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Parent Emeritus
Why can’t I stop poking the bear? (Borderline estranged daughter)
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<blockquote data-quote="ButCoffeeFirst" data-source="post: 764395" data-attributes="member: 28722"><p>Deni, thank you for your very empathetic and insightful response.</p><p>Having children who we loved so hard and nurtured so fully, view us as destructive, traumatising parents is like living in the upside down world. At least some of the time.</p><p>It gives me hope that you have managed to see yourself whole again, as you were and not as your son painted you. I am part-way there, but do relapse and again question everything about raising my children. </p><p>Your words rang true, especially those about finding joy and peace in simple things, and being able to appreciate the people in your life who quietly simply celebrate life with you.</p><p>I am lucky to have a close and strong relationship with my son, which helps tremendously and remind me that I was a locing, supportive mum.</p><p>I have three very dear friends who have known me for longer than I have been a mother, who raised their children with mine and who have spent hundreds of hours with me and with my children. They also remind me who I am, and who I was, and that they love me.</p><p>I just spent a week with one of these friends, enjoying the freedom of pursuing a mutual hobby now our children are adults. I have known her since I was 10 years old. No-one knows me better. We talked and shared and laughed like drains every day.</p><p>i have joy in my life. I have so much love in my life.</p><p>The set-backs and self-doubt may never leave completely, but I now allow myself to be happy. </p><p></p><p>Thanks again, Deni</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ButCoffeeFirst, post: 764395, member: 28722"] Deni, thank you for your very empathetic and insightful response. Having children who we loved so hard and nurtured so fully, view us as destructive, traumatising parents is like living in the upside down world. At least some of the time. It gives me hope that you have managed to see yourself whole again, as you were and not as your son painted you. I am part-way there, but do relapse and again question everything about raising my children. Your words rang true, especially those about finding joy and peace in simple things, and being able to appreciate the people in your life who quietly simply celebrate life with you. I am lucky to have a close and strong relationship with my son, which helps tremendously and remind me that I was a locing, supportive mum. I have three very dear friends who have known me for longer than I have been a mother, who raised their children with mine and who have spent hundreds of hours with me and with my children. They also remind me who I am, and who I was, and that they love me. I just spent a week with one of these friends, enjoying the freedom of pursuing a mutual hobby now our children are adults. I have known her since I was 10 years old. No-one knows me better. We talked and shared and laughed like drains every day. i have joy in my life. I have so much love in my life. The set-backs and self-doubt may never leave completely, but I now allow myself to be happy. Thanks again, Deni [/QUOTE]
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Why can’t I stop poking the bear? (Borderline estranged daughter)
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