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Why do I bother cooking at all?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 204006" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I grew up with my own very strong dislikes of certain foods. My mother wasn't the greatest cook, although perhaps to be fair, it's not easy when you have ten mouths to feed with what you have to grow yourself, and no way to reheat food without it drying out to the consistency of boot leather. Also when you have ten mouths to feed, you can't pander to a range of different tastes. You eat what is available or go hungry.</p><p></p><p>So I went hungry. Food was never wasted but there are only so many times you can reheat food on a plate in the oven. Generally the food would be given to someone else and my mother would avoid giving me a serving of food I would refuse to eat anyway.</p><p></p><p>However, this only applied to food I absolutely refused to eat because I loathed it. Food I had eaten before at any time, or food which they knew I would at least tolerate, had to be eaten. Not eating the main meal meant no dessert. There were no between meal snacks, either. We could request certain foods, but if the budget didn't stretch or the food was out of season, we wouldn't get it.</p><p></p><p>Something I have done with my kids - if a child of mine complains about the menu (especially if it's just "I want a change") then I magnanimously give the kid the job - "certainly, son, you want roast chicken stuffed with wild truffles on a bed of foie gras? It's yours - but YOU have to organise it, budget for it, shop for it, cook it and clean up afterwards. You also have to deal with the complaints of those who don't like it or who would prefer something else - especially if they complain AFTER you've put in a lot of effort which seems to be unappreciated. Also important to remember - you could spend hours cooking a meal but it will disappear down gullets in minutes. Often with no comment about how it tasted or even if the diners had time to taste anything. And you have to prepare the next night's meal, and lunches the next day, and on into the future, all without getting monotonous and still staying within the budget."</p><p></p><p>You give him the task of preparing ONE meal, entirely. Sit with him and explain the cost per serve limitation, and exactly why - you need to pay for cable, of the internet connection, or the power bill, the heating bill, the medical bills, the mortgage... whatever you need to budget. It's also important to make sure that the desired meal is balanced.</p><p></p><p>Seriously, this can be a valuable lesson. And occasionally, the child can come up with a workable alternative you may not have thought of, and also he may be able to help in practical ways.</p><p>For example, one day difficult child 1 said he wanted hamburgers. I didn't think it was practical or viable, but difficult child 1 felt it was. He was so keen to have a hamburger that he was prepared to put in the extra effort. He bought some ready-made rissoles from the butcher (a good deal) and some hamburger buns. It was an interesting exercise - as he proceeded, he kept finding ingredients we didn't have, which meant yet another trip to the local shop. He did a good job with the burgers but it was a lot of effort and wasn't as cheap per serve as we really needed. However, we did a debrief and calculated that if we planned ahead and bought in bulk (and cooked in bulk) we could cook one large batch of rissoles, freeze them cooked, and then when burgers were requires it was a simple matter of quickly adding the other ingredients and reheating the rissole while the buns toasted. If we baked our own bread this brought the serving cost down even further.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes this offer, to let the child take charge of one meal, can shut up the complaints. If he keeps complaining then tell him to put up or shut up. If he's not prepared to have a go himself, then he has no right to whine about it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 204006, member: 1991"] I grew up with my own very strong dislikes of certain foods. My mother wasn't the greatest cook, although perhaps to be fair, it's not easy when you have ten mouths to feed with what you have to grow yourself, and no way to reheat food without it drying out to the consistency of boot leather. Also when you have ten mouths to feed, you can't pander to a range of different tastes. You eat what is available or go hungry. So I went hungry. Food was never wasted but there are only so many times you can reheat food on a plate in the oven. Generally the food would be given to someone else and my mother would avoid giving me a serving of food I would refuse to eat anyway. However, this only applied to food I absolutely refused to eat because I loathed it. Food I had eaten before at any time, or food which they knew I would at least tolerate, had to be eaten. Not eating the main meal meant no dessert. There were no between meal snacks, either. We could request certain foods, but if the budget didn't stretch or the food was out of season, we wouldn't get it. Something I have done with my kids - if a child of mine complains about the menu (especially if it's just "I want a change") then I magnanimously give the kid the job - "certainly, son, you want roast chicken stuffed with wild truffles on a bed of foie gras? It's yours - but YOU have to organise it, budget for it, shop for it, cook it and clean up afterwards. You also have to deal with the complaints of those who don't like it or who would prefer something else - especially if they complain AFTER you've put in a lot of effort which seems to be unappreciated. Also important to remember - you could spend hours cooking a meal but it will disappear down gullets in minutes. Often with no comment about how it tasted or even if the diners had time to taste anything. And you have to prepare the next night's meal, and lunches the next day, and on into the future, all without getting monotonous and still staying within the budget." You give him the task of preparing ONE meal, entirely. Sit with him and explain the cost per serve limitation, and exactly why - you need to pay for cable, of the internet connection, or the power bill, the heating bill, the medical bills, the mortgage... whatever you need to budget. It's also important to make sure that the desired meal is balanced. Seriously, this can be a valuable lesson. And occasionally, the child can come up with a workable alternative you may not have thought of, and also he may be able to help in practical ways. For example, one day difficult child 1 said he wanted hamburgers. I didn't think it was practical or viable, but difficult child 1 felt it was. He was so keen to have a hamburger that he was prepared to put in the extra effort. He bought some ready-made rissoles from the butcher (a good deal) and some hamburger buns. It was an interesting exercise - as he proceeded, he kept finding ingredients we didn't have, which meant yet another trip to the local shop. He did a good job with the burgers but it was a lot of effort and wasn't as cheap per serve as we really needed. However, we did a debrief and calculated that if we planned ahead and bought in bulk (and cooked in bulk) we could cook one large batch of rissoles, freeze them cooked, and then when burgers were requires it was a simple matter of quickly adding the other ingredients and reheating the rissole while the buns toasted. If we baked our own bread this brought the serving cost down even further. Sometimes this offer, to let the child take charge of one meal, can shut up the complaints. If he keeps complaining then tell him to put up or shut up. If he's not prepared to have a go himself, then he has no right to whine about it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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