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why do I still talk????
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 446078" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>This was reminding me of me and my big sister. She could not understand the concept of being supportive WITHOUT trying to fix a particular situation. (this was not just with kid stuff either) I finally had a frank chat with her and told her I wasn't looking to her for solutions. This was stuff going on in MY life and I was sharing MY life with her, and if it was bad stuff all I was looking for was a compassionate ear, and if it was good stuff I wanted to "celebrate" with her and ultimately she knew what was going on in my life. PERIOD. Over the years, she's become my pillar of strength. She now gently offers advice and ideas I may not have thought of, and backs off when I tell her I've been there done that.</p><p></p><p>Little sister, on the other hand, still does not get it. I let her do what she does, and if it ends up not so great, then Oh well. Kids need to get used to ppl that won't always understand their issues. Fortunately, I don't see either more than once or twice a year (if that often).</p><p></p><p>I remember one time my Dad criticizing me for indulging the kids while he's pulling out the ice cream right BEFORE dinner. 1, he was behaving as I think a grandparent should - 'spoiling' the grand kids. 2, Dad, it's MY job to raise them, I'll do it as I see fit. Things I allow at his house are much different than what I allow at home BECAUSE I was allowing him to 'spoil' them. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, remind your mom that she's the GRANDPARENT, not the parent. She should enjoy her grands, 'spoil' them, and leave the parenting to you. Also, let her know that when you say to do xyz with one of the kids, it's NOT a suggestion it's what needs to be done. If she doesn't listen, don't forget "I told you so" after the meltdown ensues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 446078, member: 11965"] This was reminding me of me and my big sister. She could not understand the concept of being supportive WITHOUT trying to fix a particular situation. (this was not just with kid stuff either) I finally had a frank chat with her and told her I wasn't looking to her for solutions. This was stuff going on in MY life and I was sharing MY life with her, and if it was bad stuff all I was looking for was a compassionate ear, and if it was good stuff I wanted to "celebrate" with her and ultimately she knew what was going on in my life. PERIOD. Over the years, she's become my pillar of strength. She now gently offers advice and ideas I may not have thought of, and backs off when I tell her I've been there done that. Little sister, on the other hand, still does not get it. I let her do what she does, and if it ends up not so great, then Oh well. Kids need to get used to ppl that won't always understand their issues. Fortunately, I don't see either more than once or twice a year (if that often). I remember one time my Dad criticizing me for indulging the kids while he's pulling out the ice cream right BEFORE dinner. 1, he was behaving as I think a grandparent should - 'spoiling' the grand kids. 2, Dad, it's MY job to raise them, I'll do it as I see fit. Things I allow at his house are much different than what I allow at home BECAUSE I was allowing him to 'spoil' them. Anyway, remind your mom that she's the GRANDPARENT, not the parent. She should enjoy her grands, 'spoil' them, and leave the parenting to you. Also, let her know that when you say to do xyz with one of the kids, it's NOT a suggestion it's what needs to be done. If she doesn't listen, don't forget "I told you so" after the meltdown ensues. [/QUOTE]
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