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why do I still talk????
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 446309" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>I can relate! Reading your post made some things pretty fresh. We set boundries very clearly with my parent in-laws. They have chosen to stay away because they could not live by these. They call husband every week still, and continue to invite us to everything and complain how they miss him and the kids. Sadly, we don't miss them, but feel relieved. It was hard at first when we had to not be around them. Felt guilty. Sounds like maybe you need to have the talk and let them know that these visits are too hard on your family. Your little family is <strong>your family </strong>and you are right to put them first.</p><p></p><p>I was wondering if putting your mom in charge of the baby or cooking would keep her out of your son's hair? Distract her with the others. Maybe if she felt useful and occupied??? I know this is hard because you don't really trust her.</p><p></p><p>I had a counselor say something to me I have never forgotten and has stayed with me-" Your mother- in- law (substitute mother here) cannot give you what you need or want. She's not capable." Finially realizing where the problem lied helped me to let go. She knows I will not be attending any of their family functions or be around her anymore. My kids and husband have made the same choice. We feel free. They still try to get us to "join" the family through my husband who speaks to them shortly every week. Your parents may hang on for awhile, or they may do what many do, decide to respect their daughter, whom they raised so well and they love. Perhaps it will sink in-keep setting limits and expressing your feeling. Hugs and good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 446309, member: 11001"] I can relate! Reading your post made some things pretty fresh. We set boundries very clearly with my parent in-laws. They have chosen to stay away because they could not live by these. They call husband every week still, and continue to invite us to everything and complain how they miss him and the kids. Sadly, we don't miss them, but feel relieved. It was hard at first when we had to not be around them. Felt guilty. Sounds like maybe you need to have the talk and let them know that these visits are too hard on your family. Your little family is [B]your family [/B]and you are right to put them first. I was wondering if putting your mom in charge of the baby or cooking would keep her out of your son's hair? Distract her with the others. Maybe if she felt useful and occupied??? I know this is hard because you don't really trust her. I had a counselor say something to me I have never forgotten and has stayed with me-" Your mother- in- law (substitute mother here) cannot give you what you need or want. She's not capable." Finially realizing where the problem lied helped me to let go. She knows I will not be attending any of their family functions or be around her anymore. My kids and husband have made the same choice. We feel free. They still try to get us to "join" the family through my husband who speaks to them shortly every week. Your parents may hang on for awhile, or they may do what many do, decide to respect their daughter, whom they raised so well and they love. Perhaps it will sink in-keep setting limits and expressing your feeling. Hugs and good luck! [/QUOTE]
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why do I still talk????
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