Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why do they do even worse things when they are in trouble?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 557778" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I may get a lot of people angry with me for what I am going to say. I am okay if no one agrees with me. I also am okay if what I say is ignored.</p><p></p><p>I don't think there is ANYTHING that will make a major difference for your granddau. NOt a major positive difference. Therapy will only teach her what to say and how to act to get out of trouble and to make people blame you for what she has done. There is no way to get the kind of services she will need in a private home, and there are very few residential programs that anyone could really afford. Even in a residential treatment setting she will probably just learn the song and dance and how to hide her behaviors.</p><p></p><p>She has to WANT to change, and given her attachment problems and then the fetal alcohol issues, she will likely never reach the point of wanting to change. why should she? I am NOT being flippant here. Think about what might honestly motivate her to make major changes??? Bet there isn't much that you or anyone can think of. </p><p></p><p>I don't mean that you should stop trying. I just think you need to have realistic expectations and those are that she is just going to get worse, a lot worse. It is getting close to the point where it is unsafe to have her living in your home, if in fact that point hasn't been reached already.</p><p></p><p>Is it really a good idea to wait until she hurts you before you say enough is enough? are you aware that she could leave you with long term problems? I think being direct with her is good, to a point. I can't help but wonder if knowing that she won't get a second chance to hurt you will mean that the first time she goes after you will be much, much worse than you would expect. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry to say it, but I would think hard about a residential setting or some sort of foster care for her. Maybe if she had therapy from birth on then it would have a better chance to work and give her a better future, but with the way things are, I would be very very afraid of her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 557778, member: 1233"] I may get a lot of people angry with me for what I am going to say. I am okay if no one agrees with me. I also am okay if what I say is ignored. I don't think there is ANYTHING that will make a major difference for your granddau. NOt a major positive difference. Therapy will only teach her what to say and how to act to get out of trouble and to make people blame you for what she has done. There is no way to get the kind of services she will need in a private home, and there are very few residential programs that anyone could really afford. Even in a residential treatment setting she will probably just learn the song and dance and how to hide her behaviors. She has to WANT to change, and given her attachment problems and then the fetal alcohol issues, she will likely never reach the point of wanting to change. why should she? I am NOT being flippant here. Think about what might honestly motivate her to make major changes??? Bet there isn't much that you or anyone can think of. I don't mean that you should stop trying. I just think you need to have realistic expectations and those are that she is just going to get worse, a lot worse. It is getting close to the point where it is unsafe to have her living in your home, if in fact that point hasn't been reached already. Is it really a good idea to wait until she hurts you before you say enough is enough? are you aware that she could leave you with long term problems? I think being direct with her is good, to a point. I can't help but wonder if knowing that she won't get a second chance to hurt you will mean that the first time she goes after you will be much, much worse than you would expect. I am sorry to say it, but I would think hard about a residential setting or some sort of foster care for her. Maybe if she had therapy from birth on then it would have a better chance to work and give her a better future, but with the way things are, I would be very very afraid of her. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why do they do even worse things when they are in trouble?
Top