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Why don't they call?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar I" data-source="post: 51111" data-attributes="member: 3755"><p>I'm sorry this is happening, meowbunny.</p><p></p><p>Did you ever take a CPR class? And whatever action you take to save someone's life, you are trained to take it with determined intent? Well, it is the same for us, only the lives being saved are our own. </p><p></p><p>For a long time, nothing helped me.</p><p></p><p>And I would post here, and post and post.</p><p></p><p>Finally it began to sink in that if I hoped to recover the rest of my life, I had better start taking myself seriously. </p><p></p><p>It helped me to look at those feelings ~ the feelings that come for you when the phone doesn't ring, or you are sure there has to have been an accident, or the difficult child has done something so unbelievable that it is hard to hold your head up ~ those feelings are the enemy. Acknowledge them, label them, journal about them if it helps and then, refuse to give them headroom.</p><p></p><p>Say: I don't have an issue with that.</p><p></p><p>Whether you do or not, say that to yourself and put the feeling aside ten thousand time a day if you have to.</p><p></p><p>The Serenity Prayer helps us let go of the feelings too ~ but you have to get to a place you can hear it, first.</p><p></p><p>The detachment site is listed at the bottoms of my posts. If you have not used this site yet, try it next time these feelings strike.</p><p></p><p>Begin giving yourself little mini-moments of joy ~ the way the sun strikes the ground, the way a bird sounds. If you can give yourself completely to that moment, there will be a break from the pain, and your psyche will remember how to heal.</p><p></p><p>The more of those pain free instants you can give yourself, the sooner you will come back into psychic balance.</p><p></p><p>The way I see it, the kids are in trouble. There is nothing we can do about that, it seems like. But what we can do is to be as strong, as centered, as healthy as we know how to be so that, if the kids ever do come back, we are mentally and emotionally clear-headed and ready to help both the child and ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Depression will make recovery impossible, will make you weak.</p><p></p><p>You have to fight it.</p><p></p><p>For those of us who live every minute of every day with a child in danger, never knowing what we are going to hear next (for all you know, your daughter could show up this afternoon and make your life a living h*** for the next six months or a year ~ it has happened to so many of us here) depression is the enemy.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p><p></p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar I, post: 51111, member: 3755"] I'm sorry this is happening, meowbunny. Did you ever take a CPR class? And whatever action you take to save someone's life, you are trained to take it with determined intent? Well, it is the same for us, only the lives being saved are our own. For a long time, nothing helped me. And I would post here, and post and post. Finally it began to sink in that if I hoped to recover the rest of my life, I had better start taking myself seriously. It helped me to look at those feelings ~ the feelings that come for you when the phone doesn't ring, or you are sure there has to have been an accident, or the difficult child has done something so unbelievable that it is hard to hold your head up ~ those feelings are the enemy. Acknowledge them, label them, journal about them if it helps and then, refuse to give them headroom. Say: I don't have an issue with that. Whether you do or not, say that to yourself and put the feeling aside ten thousand time a day if you have to. The Serenity Prayer helps us let go of the feelings too ~ but you have to get to a place you can hear it, first. The detachment site is listed at the bottoms of my posts. If you have not used this site yet, try it next time these feelings strike. Begin giving yourself little mini-moments of joy ~ the way the sun strikes the ground, the way a bird sounds. If you can give yourself completely to that moment, there will be a break from the pain, and your psyche will remember how to heal. The more of those pain free instants you can give yourself, the sooner you will come back into psychic balance. The way I see it, the kids are in trouble. There is nothing we can do about that, it seems like. But what we can do is to be as strong, as centered, as healthy as we know how to be so that, if the kids ever do come back, we are mentally and emotionally clear-headed and ready to help both the child and ourselves. Depression will make recovery impossible, will make you weak. You have to fight it. For those of us who live every minute of every day with a child in danger, never knowing what we are going to hear next (for all you know, your daughter could show up this afternoon and make your life a living h*** for the next six months or a year ~ it has happened to so many of us here) depression is the enemy. Barbara . [/QUOTE]
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