Why give drugs away?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by christianmom, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    My son doesn't have a job right now. His friends buy him marijuana and give him transportation. This is so frustrating to my husband and me. We don't give him money. Plus, isn't weed expensive?
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Are you sure they are buying it for him or is he selling it? I had to think the same about my daughter - she relapsed in the spring last year - she was not working and not getting money from me yet she had gas in her car and was able to feed her habit. HAD to be selling it, but I have not confirmed that...
  3. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    I don't think he's selling it. We actually can talk candidly about some of these things and he said they buy it. I also asked if they smoke around the friend's newborn and he said they go out driving (apparently just the dad, not the mom). His friends let him stay at their house - he sponges off of them. Etc. in fact he needs to get a job within a month or we won't let him live here. He has been spending probably at least half the time at different friends.
  4. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    He hasn't had money in about 4 months except $25 birthday gift he got from his grandparents. He has no gas money, cannot drive his own truck. ( though sometimes friend has provided money for gas during the past 4 months)
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I found with my difficult child when she was using pot that she often shared it among friends. One of them would buy a bowl and all the friends would join in the party. I intercepted many texts/emails where they couldn't wait to tell each other what they had and were very generous about sharing. I thought it was like a not wanting to smoke alone thing. My difficult child would use all her pay to buy pot and call everyone over and never cared that she was left with no money to pay rent. And of course the moochers were perfectly happy to help her smoke it. Drug users surround themselves with others like them.
  6. christianmom

    christianmom Member

    My son is definitely a moocher. It's very sad.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter's experience was that if you take drugs you sell them. She has told me that a lot.

    You have to decide if you agree with it. She said that this is what happens in the drug world that she quit.

    Also, often our kids are doing more drugs than we know. I sure was fooled when my daughter cleaned up and told us the extent of her drug use. We would have never have guessed it.
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    MWM only fellow difficult child mom would get this joke but there were times I wish my difficult child was selling her pot because she just gave it away to all her "friends" who were only friends when she got paid and had pot. She thought they were real friends until her rent was due and they disappeared.
  9. Hope_Floats

    Hope_Floats Member

    It is a strange world indeed that they live in. My difficult child also was one of the moochers. The last time I found that one of those parties was imminent by intercepting a text, I reminded him that he could not live under my roof and do drugs. His choice. I had the car keys already, so his friends picked him up. Pretty nice commune, if you ask me. Free bus service, lol.

    I had a party that night too. At Home Depot. I changed the locks. I told him if he had such nice friends, he could go live with them.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ah, memories. difficult children do bring us many.

    After my difficult child got right in my face (enough that I could feel his spit) and called me the Monday-Friday word, I told him his friend, who was probably aghast upstairs, had to leave, I've had enough.

    He said arrogantly, "IF he goes, I go."

    I said, "If you go, you can't come back."

    He left.

    He has never been back.

    Well, I gave him a choice....
  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I was thinking of something similar. That I wish my son was the moocher instead of the moochie. Would have saved us a lot of money.
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Nancy, yep. I get it big time.

    Actually, my daughter had drug dealers threatening her life because she had not paid them. They're the toughest sort of bill collectors. That was one reason she wanted to go out of state.
  13. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Its not quite that simple. If they are working but never have money, working a really good job but live in a dump, or even not working but never have work and hang around the house most of the time then they probably aren't dealing. Or if they are its small time. Then again, I wouldn't consider someone who regularly bought double the amount for personal use and sold half to a friend to be a dealer.

    We didn't know at the time but at one point our son had a dealer threatening him over $60. We found out when one of his friends showed up looking for our son to get his money back. He told us that our difficult child had told him he had a dealer threatening to hurt him so he lent him the money. Never got paid back to the best of my knowledge. Then again, they aren't friends anymore so the story our difficult child told may have been complete and utter BS too.
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Jabber...I know your difficult child has been involved in some drugs...no idea the extent...so it doesn't surprise me at all and doubt if it's BS. It may even be a minimization. It's a very dangerous life and daughter got sick of it and wanted to quit, but her "friends" wouldn't let her. They'd come after her and beg her and badger her to get them speed or whatever from HER "friends." And if a request didn't work, there were always threats against her life.

    Our difficult children tell us a minimum of what goes on with them. We don't really find out unless they totally change and feel like purging their souls. Trust me, as my daughter told me I felt so sick I just wanted to scream at her to stop, that I knew
    too much already and that I couldn't take it. But I listened because she really seemed to want me to listen. And I learned more about drug life than I ever wanted to learn.
  15. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    MWM, this happened a while ago. Summer before he left for college I think. Now that I stop and think about it, the friend showed up at our door during one of our difficult child's two episodes of running away. I think? Meh, its been a while so not new news and yes, he probably made it up to get money from pretty much his last non-difficult child friend. The kid was kinda weird and heavily into Screamo (or whatever the hell they call the version of Heavy Metal where they literally scream the lyrics...if, in fact, there actually are any lyrics!!) dressing the part with skinny jeans and makeup but he was always polite, respectful, and seemed fairly intelligent. Besides, who the hell am I to fault someone for being an oddball!
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, we never saw any of Daughter's scumbag "friends." Sometimes her "friends" who I knew about came over and sometimes it was to fight. Once a girl who swore s he stole her sweater threatened her at our house. I kicked her out. It was quite a wild ride, but we were always off balance a little bit because, the truth was, except for what Daughter told us, which was only partly true, we didn't know what her life was like outside of our house or even inside of it.