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General Parenting
Why is he so mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 447914" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hi Klltc. I really understand your "désarroi"... At the same time, outsiders perhaps have a different perspective than we inevitably do close up. Reading your account, I didn't feel that shocked. Of course I have a difficult child myself so am rather de-sensitized generally to this sort of thing. But... I just feel this is a developmental thing. In some ways your 4 year old is surely lagging behind (in other ways I know he is not) and remember how many 2 and 3 year olds routinely do things like banging another child on the head for no apparent "reason".</p><p>I don't mean to minimise the seriousness of this but I have seen SO much toddler and preschool violence now, among difficult children and pcs, that I don't think it is THAT serious... Very unpleasant for your other boy. I completely agree with TeDo's suggestion of trying to educate him in the ways of empathy but perhaps not by being violent with him yourself. Very easily done, I know. </p><p>I so understand what you're saying because I've said all that kind of stuff myself, but then from the outside one sees that the kid isn't doing it "on purpose". I too often feel at a loss as to why my son makes life so difficult in ways that seem to make no sense but... there must be some sense to it for him. I just hope you will get more insight and tools for dealing with your boy. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 447914, member: 11227"] Hi Klltc. I really understand your "désarroi"... At the same time, outsiders perhaps have a different perspective than we inevitably do close up. Reading your account, I didn't feel that shocked. Of course I have a difficult child myself so am rather de-sensitized generally to this sort of thing. But... I just feel this is a developmental thing. In some ways your 4 year old is surely lagging behind (in other ways I know he is not) and remember how many 2 and 3 year olds routinely do things like banging another child on the head for no apparent "reason". I don't mean to minimise the seriousness of this but I have seen SO much toddler and preschool violence now, among difficult children and pcs, that I don't think it is THAT serious... Very unpleasant for your other boy. I completely agree with TeDo's suggestion of trying to educate him in the ways of empathy but perhaps not by being violent with him yourself. Very easily done, I know. I so understand what you're saying because I've said all that kind of stuff myself, but then from the outside one sees that the kid isn't doing it "on purpose". I too often feel at a loss as to why my son makes life so difficult in ways that seem to make no sense but... there must be some sense to it for him. I just hope you will get more insight and tools for dealing with your boy. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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