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General Parenting
why is it always at bed time?
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 14135" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I don't think this is a problem that's necessarily gfgish in nature, although if anxiety is in the picture bedtime certainly increases the thoughts. My NT daughter is the same way--sometimes it's a stall tactic, sometimes the result of thinking through her day, and sometimes finally being quiet makes her aware of all the aches and pains, itches, and bumps she's accumulated through the day. I had a lot more patience for it when it was anxiety than I do when 8pm brings on the memory of so and so telling her that her new haircut looks bad or a cut so tiny I need a magnifier to see it. </p><p></p><p>I have to agree with the others that the pencil situation sounds very much like my difficult child when he deals with obsessions and anxieties. Most of the time the response seemed so blown out of proportion in contrast to the problem and it *was* frustrating but the best way to help them is to validate their feelings so you can begin to move on. One of the things that helped difficult child through issues like this was that I worked towards him being able to count on the fact that I would work on whatever and build a system to do so. In the case of the missing pencil or any other school related issue, we had a home school journal and finally it got through to him that I could write a note to the teacher on things he was obsessing or anxious over. At first I would reassure him I'd write the note and even have to show him then as later he progressed to asking me to write the note instead of having the fit. I knew we were really making strides when he told me he didn't need the notebook anymore and that it would be ok to just email the teacher whenever needed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 14135, member: 701"] I don't think this is a problem that's necessarily gfgish in nature, although if anxiety is in the picture bedtime certainly increases the thoughts. My NT daughter is the same way--sometimes it's a stall tactic, sometimes the result of thinking through her day, and sometimes finally being quiet makes her aware of all the aches and pains, itches, and bumps she's accumulated through the day. I had a lot more patience for it when it was anxiety than I do when 8pm brings on the memory of so and so telling her that her new haircut looks bad or a cut so tiny I need a magnifier to see it. I have to agree with the others that the pencil situation sounds very much like my difficult child when he deals with obsessions and anxieties. Most of the time the response seemed so blown out of proportion in contrast to the problem and it *was* frustrating but the best way to help them is to validate their feelings so you can begin to move on. One of the things that helped difficult child through issues like this was that I worked towards him being able to count on the fact that I would work on whatever and build a system to do so. In the case of the missing pencil or any other school related issue, we had a home school journal and finally it got through to him that I could write a note to the teacher on things he was obsessing or anxious over. At first I would reassure him I'd write the note and even have to show him then as later he progressed to asking me to write the note instead of having the fit. I knew we were really making strides when he told me he didn't need the notebook anymore and that it would be ok to just email the teacher whenever needed. [/QUOTE]
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why is it always at bed time?
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