Why Me?

[siobhan123]

This is a question I seem to be asking myself more and more. My relationship with my boyfriend (of 9 years) has gotten worse and worse. I feel like I run interference between him and everyone elso in my life. He constantly goes back and forth between being great and being downright nasty. I feel like I never get to do anything outside of the house unless I take the kids and if I do get to do something I have a 3 day guilt trip ahead of me when I get back.
Some say that he's self centered and I should just get over it, some say he's mentally abusive and I should get out of it. I feel like there is a 50/50 split between the good times and the bad. There has never been any physical abuse and he doen't act controlling just rude and sarcastic. I wish that our life could go back to the way it was before we had so much to deal with. Sometimes I feel like my life is out of control. Most days I feel like throwinig up my hands an quitting, but I remember that I have 2 kids to take care of and that deep down we both love each other and are just so overwhelmed that we take it out on each other. Still I don't want to live like that forever, do you think I'm settling for less that I should?
I just want to get off the roller coaster because I feel a little queezy I think...
Siobhan

 

[busywend]

Have you taken the time to improve the relationship? It is hard when kids are draining you, I know.

If the relationship is getting worse and worse than something needs to be done to improve it.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Relationships take work. A LOT of work. As the two of you grow, the relationship grows, and it changes. It will likely never be like it was back then. But, with some time, patience, and nurturing, it could very well be better.

 

[Lori4ever]

Please don't be offended by my response, that's not what I intend. I see in your signature that you have a 6 week old baby girl. Sometimes the anxiety and fatigue put a lot of strain on a relationship. This may be part of the problem. It's not always easy to gain balance, in the beginning. I do hope it gets better soon.

 

[crazymama30]

Remember that ADHD and many other mental health illnesses are hereditary, and is it possible he is suffering from some undiagnosed condition? My husband just got diagnosed in November, I always knew there was something different about him, but it took a while for him to realize he needed help.

Hang in there. I will send good thoughts, prayers and vibes your way.