Last night difficult child 14ss and I got back home from psychiatrist appointment. (they upped his lithium...his anger and medication are out of control) He asked for a snack. I said no (my daughter was bring dinner-ready-home) I said we will be eating soon. I go to my room to talk to my husband by phone about a letter from the court we just got (see update.sad post) I come out ..he is shutting the drawer in the kitchen and stepped away quickly. I asked what he was getting. Nothing, he says. He clearly has something in his hand I ask again. I ask what is in his hand . He has almonds. I ask him to throw them out. He opens the trash cabinet. and slams it shut because he is now ******. Well this infuriates me ( i am so tired of broken stuff..tired of finding broken glued back together stuff) So I start yelling, I swatted his arm. I had called my mom and it had just started ringing as all this transpired . I tried hanging up to deal with difficult child.. She hears yelling and commotion. and calls right back to check on me. (it was pcdd 18th birthday..she was visiting my mom and bring dinner from there) In one sense I am glad because no one understands all we deal with they dont get to see this side of difficult child. He was yelling and screaming. on the other hand I hate that I reacted the way I did. But all this stuff has raised the stress level in our home. Not an excuse. I sent him to his room. I go in and he is visably shaking because he is mad. I try talking to him he is talking at me through clenched teeth and glaring. Has no clue why I hit him. This is where he is focused. So I go back through what really happened. I ask him is there anything he could have done to change this situation. What choice drove it. I feel like I am talking to no one. He doesnt know why I am talking to him He doesn't have a problem. He doen't like me talking with him calmly, he doesnt want to be corrected in any way shape of form. No one like the yealling. I try not to it accomplishes nothing. I would much rather try to get him refective ato use as a tool to learn differnt techniques to resolve his issues. Why does he feel like he can do whatever he wants. Why does he feel no remorse. Why must he lie.(even when he is caught with evidence in his hand) Why must he lie about the most absurb, unimportant things. One of his therapist (the one who dismissed him) syas he sees a budding anti social personality disorder. It feels like a life sentence. I am starting to get frightened that that mey be a literal term for him one day, if he does not make better decisions. My head, heart hurts. It just makes no sense. I just know his anger has increased and we need to help him control that.