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General Parenting
Why the Therapist Thinks it's Mom's Fault...
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 250746" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I think some of it depends on the therapist's own philosophy, too. Just like some psychiatrists believe any hyper kid has adhd and automatically starts treating that, some therapist's get stuck in one way of thinking.</p><p></p><p>Star, I think you have a good point. It sounds like you could have really used a good therapist in your life at that point in time whether or not you would have had a child. Having Dude on top of your other unresolved issues must have really left you feeling pretty bad. I am glad you got help. Keep in mind though, everyone taking a difficult child to therapy isn't in the same situation.</p><p></p><p>The first time I noticed my son/we were having issues, I took him to a family therapist because I thought it was a family problem and I had already gone through the therapy to get over my deamons many years earlier. The family therapist ended up pulling me aside and telling me he thought the problem was out of his league and that I should take difficult child to a psychiatrist. I wonder sometimes if it's just the nature of a therapist to see what the parent presents as the problem and automatically want to change the parent's perception. Maybe they look at it like if the parent's perception of the problem was correct, the parent wouldn't be consulting a therapist??</p><p></p><p>That being said, it is very frustrating when the profs make assumptions (or stereotype) instead of learning more about the family first. Even if they are correct that the problems are manifestating themselves in the kid, it would be nice if they would concentrate on how and what's underneath it instead of just judging, whether it's their intention or not. After all, it IS therapist's job to analyze it.</p><p></p><p>Another one that drives me bananas: when you have a therapist who doesn't belkieve you. I'm not talking about not believing you when you say something that's open to interpretation, but if you tell them a FACT of something that happened and they want to convince you that it couldn't be true.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 250746, member: 3699"] I think some of it depends on the therapist's own philosophy, too. Just like some psychiatrists believe any hyper kid has adhd and automatically starts treating that, some therapist's get stuck in one way of thinking. Star, I think you have a good point. It sounds like you could have really used a good therapist in your life at that point in time whether or not you would have had a child. Having Dude on top of your other unresolved issues must have really left you feeling pretty bad. I am glad you got help. Keep in mind though, everyone taking a difficult child to therapy isn't in the same situation. The first time I noticed my son/we were having issues, I took him to a family therapist because I thought it was a family problem and I had already gone through the therapy to get over my deamons many years earlier. The family therapist ended up pulling me aside and telling me he thought the problem was out of his league and that I should take difficult child to a psychiatrist. I wonder sometimes if it's just the nature of a therapist to see what the parent presents as the problem and automatically want to change the parent's perception. Maybe they look at it like if the parent's perception of the problem was correct, the parent wouldn't be consulting a therapist?? That being said, it is very frustrating when the profs make assumptions (or stereotype) instead of learning more about the family first. Even if they are correct that the problems are manifestating themselves in the kid, it would be nice if they would concentrate on how and what's underneath it instead of just judging, whether it's their intention or not. After all, it IS therapist's job to analyze it. Another one that drives me bananas: when you have a therapist who doesn't belkieve you. I'm not talking about not believing you when you say something that's open to interpretation, but if you tell them a FACT of something that happened and they want to convince you that it couldn't be true.:knockedout: [/QUOTE]
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