Malika
Well-Known Member
Or will J still be "making a lot of fuss over nothing", as I'm afraid my default English perspective calls it, at the age of 18?
Here's what happened last night. I picked him up at 6.30 from the after-school care and he had slit his trousers all the way up one leg - apparently because, in one version, he already had a hole in them and it was bothering him and, in another, his classmate was poking him in the leg all the time (J invents things on the spur of the moment, a really vivid imagination, and you just can't tell what is true and what is not). He had also picked off the scabs on his nose from a bad fall he had on his bike Saturday, meaning he will be left with scars...
Anyway, he immediately started on about one of his little friends' dad having asked him to come over that evening. I said no, mainly because it was pouring with heavy rain, as it had been all day. He immediately went into meltdown mode, rushing inside the house to change his trousers, saying he was going anyway. I ended up physically restraining him at the door (in front of an incredulous oddjobsman from the village who was doing some repairs there - a sign of my progress is that I didn't let his attitude affect my behaviour or response: I know people in the village don't understand and never will) - while J raged at me calling me such things as "maggot" and "stupid"... Finally, after the man had gone and seeing the thing was just going to escalate, I said we would drive in the car to the friend's house where we could arrange for him to come another day. J then calmed down, started being nice, saying "Sorry, Mum", etc. He also started on about having not been able to play or run that day because of the rain... I wondered whether this was a trigger?
Based on your experience, am I going to have to go through this, and he, every time he doesn't get what he wants?
Here's what happened last night. I picked him up at 6.30 from the after-school care and he had slit his trousers all the way up one leg - apparently because, in one version, he already had a hole in them and it was bothering him and, in another, his classmate was poking him in the leg all the time (J invents things on the spur of the moment, a really vivid imagination, and you just can't tell what is true and what is not). He had also picked off the scabs on his nose from a bad fall he had on his bike Saturday, meaning he will be left with scars...
Anyway, he immediately started on about one of his little friends' dad having asked him to come over that evening. I said no, mainly because it was pouring with heavy rain, as it had been all day. He immediately went into meltdown mode, rushing inside the house to change his trousers, saying he was going anyway. I ended up physically restraining him at the door (in front of an incredulous oddjobsman from the village who was doing some repairs there - a sign of my progress is that I didn't let his attitude affect my behaviour or response: I know people in the village don't understand and never will) - while J raged at me calling me such things as "maggot" and "stupid"... Finally, after the man had gone and seeing the thing was just going to escalate, I said we would drive in the car to the friend's house where we could arrange for him to come another day. J then calmed down, started being nice, saying "Sorry, Mum", etc. He also started on about having not been able to play or run that day because of the rain... I wondered whether this was a trigger?
Based on your experience, am I going to have to go through this, and he, every time he doesn't get what he wants?