Will we survive this break?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Dec 27, 2011.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This is going to be a really long break with difficult child. He is so far off. Yesterday was really difficult at my dad's (although he and his wife handled difficult child really well). He was so rude that husband and I were so embarrassed. Thankfully Dad and his wife understand.

    He is constantly bugging husband and/or me to play a game with him. We do but we just cannot entertain him 24/7. Plus when we are playing he is driving whoever he is playing with nuts. He gets upset and often quits if he is not winning. In addition, he does things like put dice in his mouth, blows on things and he does this on purpose.

    When one of us is taking a nap he will be extra loud or come in the room and purposely wake up the person. We are purposely taking naps separately because otherwise neither of us gets any sleep. The person not sleeping can occupy him for a bit but, of course, that depends on his mood.

    I really think having a friend would help him some. He really doesn't have any he does anything with outside of school. His social skills are poor which is one reason why. The last time he did have a friend the friend showed him how to access porn on the computer-sigh...

    For Christmas we got him a small tv with- a Blue Ray player for his room. We thought it might help him when we are sleeping (you know at 4 or 5 in the morning). We were hoping he would watch something quietly and let us rest until a decent hour-guess we should have known better.

    I know this is somewhat rambling but seriously he is driving us nuts. We have plans to take him to the health club a few times (he can play basketball there or swim) and to the movies but we don't have a ton of money to be doing stuff everyday so I'm not really sure how we are going to make it the next couple of weeks.
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    UGH.........I am so sorry. been there done that a million times.

    Does he have a yard that he can be "in time out in" - with things he can release his energy with? Like a swing or trampoline?

    I hate "the rewards" system - but what if you gave him a time to play games with you IF he gave you your naps.

    Do you have a local city recreation center he could go and try to play basketball or ping pong at with other kids?

    What about rewards for extracurricular school projects he could be doing?

    Or, volunteering at the SPCA?

    Just tossing stuff out there - I know how challenging it all is. HUGS.
  3. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Can you get some respite help? Is he on SSI? I know that it is available that way. Are his medications right? Sounds like the ADHD is not close to controlled! You don't have to spend money and you don't have to spend 24/7 with him-you have done so much already. Please tell the psychiatrist or psychiatric that you are worn out and need some help-they may have ideas. In my NAMI group many of the moms (most single parents) have respite care. Does his Sp. Ed. teacher have any ideas about who might be a friend from school? Perhaps you and the mother of this child could support each other? ((hugs)), this is so hard.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I hear you. Hugs.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Steely-Thanks for the ideas. I will check to see if there is a city place for him to hang out. He would probably drive the SPCA people nuts.

    Exhausted-I wish he would qualify for SSI. We have thought about applying for it over the years based on others suggestions but I think unfortunately we make just to much income for him to qualify. I agree his ADHD isn't close to being controlled. Every time we try it ends up with him getting very violent. I think you are right though that we may need to call psychiatrist. We usually call whenever he is violent but otherwise try to wait til our monthly appointment. Guess I may have to call anyways.

    Mary-Thanks for the hugs. From your post in WC I'm guessing you are dealing with similar issues.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    oh bummer.... he has to wake you??? I used to be a 5a.m. waker but loved to be the only one awake. My poor parents. HMMM, does he have any ear phones for the tv? would he use them? I finally got a break today but Q actually decided to come home an hour early! I think he missed the wifi connection since he is still figuring out his galaxy player. gosh, I will let that go once but tomorrow, no way...he is out FOUR hours!

    Probably a good idea to see psychiatrist, but what will help with medications causing aggression? yikes.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    So much of what you describe, isn't ADHD. More likely, associated with "cognitive disorder not otherwise specified". And if the psychiatrist doesn't have any more specific diagnosis than that, then psychiatrist probably doesn't have any answers for it, either.

    Not sure how long ago the dxes were obtained, but it might be time for a re-evaluation.

    However - that doesn't solve THIS WEEK's problem.

    And no, I don't have any brilliant ideas to offer...

  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Buddy-Yep, he has to wake us. We've tried everything. I think it has to do somewhat with anxiety.

    InsaneCdn-Thanks for the hugs. A neuropsychologist diagnosis'd him with the Cognitive Disorder not otherwise specified. It had to do with the fact that his IQ was too high for it to be a Cognitive Disability but his scores in some areas were more like that of a child with a Cognitive disability. I'm sure you are right and some of it may be that and some is the ADHD. The only thing we have found that we can use to treat the ADHD is the Clonidine and it used to help a lot but not so much any more. Thanks for the hugs.

    He is up this morning and being a full difficult child---sigh.
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I hate when they want to be entertained 24/7. It is just so annoying. At 14 it is so much harder to deal with than at 5 or even 10. Does he like to read? Or have any computer games or anything he can play by himself? They make a lot of computer programs that are board games that the computer plays for the other player.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    (((hugs))) I know what that's like! Does he like to make things? Maybe you could start a craft or something like that and then when he gets himself into it you might be able to step away. Its' hard when they want to be entertained 24/7. difficult child has gone through stages like that and I finally got him to understand that just like he has things that he likes to do that do not involve me (usually video games) I have things like I like to do that do not involve him and I am entitled to time to do them.

    Hopefully, the week will go quickly for you and school will start again.
  11. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    How did it go today, Wiped Out? Must be so hard at that age. Is there anything that he ever did by himself that he enjoyed and was interested in? Other than computer or video game... Is he hyperactive ADHD? Does he need a "run around" each day, is being cooped up inside part of the problem?
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CM-I wished he could sit and read a book. His reading level is around that of a first or second grader. He likes to play computer games but not for long and then he needs help with reading directions. We even bought him a game that can be played by himself and he only wants to play it with others. He just doesn't like to spend time alone. Sigh...

    Bunny-I'm sad too, to be hoping the two weeks go quickly because it also means I go back to work but at this point I think I'd rather be at work.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I was just thinking about how it feels to be in that spot. I end up losing my patience and then he gets even more demanding and ornery and it is such a vicious cycle at our house when this happens. I hope when break is over things will go back to status quo. for difficult child world anyway. Sounds like no matter what there are some changes that are happening.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Malika-Yep, he is hyperactive ADHD. Getting out would be good for him but right now he is so overweight that he doesn't want to do much in the way of physical activity and then tires really quickly.

    Buddy-Yes, I do end up losing my patience too. Then I'm upset with myself but right now there aren't many times I want to be around him.
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    wow, I can really relate... wish I had a magic something for you... how about a non magic HUG???
  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Buddy-I'll take the hugs any day:)
  17. liz

    liz Guest

    Hope you survive with all your wits intact Wiped Out! I know I have totally caved and brought out the video games way more than I should!!!:919Mad: