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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 39754" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think your suggestion of suggesting handing over to the 17 year old is a good one. be prepared for her to reject it, though - it wasn't HER idea and she sounds like a control freak who is also very insecure. Such people are a nightmare to work with.</p><p></p><p>A place where I was working, part time - I had been employed under very strict limits due to my disability but the boss kept breaking the rules and changing my hours around badly. She also seemed to always need a whipping boy. At first it was one of the casual, commission-only employees she was hassling, until he simply stopped turning up. Then it was her very efficient and had-working secretary - this boss was being impossible, giving conflicting instructions and then sending the secretary a "warning" letter (you accumulate three and she can sack you). I left to go on two weeks' holiday and when I came back, the secretary was gone and her name was not mentioned. I asked where she was and was met with silence. </p><p>With the commission staff all gone (none would work for her) and now the secretary gone, there was nobody else for her to nitpick except me. She & I were still getting on sort-of OK, but I knew it wouldn't last. I overheard her ringing the disability agency who had sent me to her, asking for more people with my disability "because they're hard workers and very bright". We did need more staff but I knew it would be horrible for them. </p><p>Finally the extra hours she was asking from me took their toll and my health collapsed. My doctor ordered me onto bed rest. The boss even asked me to work from home (from my bed!) making phone calls for her. I'd already done that on my holidays, receiving business calls on my mobile (for which I was not paid).</p><p>I asked the boss for a reference. I didn't even get a statement of employment from her.</p><p></p><p>I finally worked out what you need to hold on to - you owe her nothing. Her loyalty towards you is nowhere near yours towards her. I know you feel a sense of obligation, to leave your work in a state of completion. I understand that, but do be prepared to walk away when it becomes necessary. Do not feel guilty.</p><p></p><p>I left before my boss really began to target me, but I knew it would happen and it was just beginning. She took my enforced leave as a personal insult, as if I had engineered my health collapse deliberately to inconvenience her. I DID work from home as best I could to tide her over, but it was a lull time in the job by that point. And I never got paid for that, nor did I get any recognition.</p><p></p><p>She was a flaming idiot. She at one stage claimed that she had spent a lot of time and effort training me, which was nonsense. The software she was using, I was more familiar with and I showed her some new tricks she had never known. I brought her useful contacts which she never valued (her boss did) and at one stage, when I was given the task to contact a high-ranking official, she got angry with me for contacting the wrong person. In fact, I had contacted the right person - he had been in that job for six months, and the man she had expected me to contact, and who she had been dealing with, was the outgoing holder of that position. She wouldn't take my word for it, and when she saw him on the news that night she accepted what I'd said, but never apologised.</p><p></p><p>Ever since this, I have learned to stop trying to beat my head against the brick wall of other people's insecurities and inadequacies. I have too many other important things to do in my life, than waste my time with bullies.</p><p></p><p>Walk away as soon as you are ready, and do it with a clear conscience. You deserve better than this. I do wonder, for you and me, if there could also be some aspect of, "this person is disabled, therefore I can assume their brain isn't functioning as well as mine, I can get away with being condescending."</p><p>I prefer to hang around people who value me as I am, not for what they assume me to be limited to. People like you and me are not limited by disability, nor are we defined by it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 39754, member: 1991"] I think your suggestion of suggesting handing over to the 17 year old is a good one. be prepared for her to reject it, though - it wasn't HER idea and she sounds like a control freak who is also very insecure. Such people are a nightmare to work with. A place where I was working, part time - I had been employed under very strict limits due to my disability but the boss kept breaking the rules and changing my hours around badly. She also seemed to always need a whipping boy. At first it was one of the casual, commission-only employees she was hassling, until he simply stopped turning up. Then it was her very efficient and had-working secretary - this boss was being impossible, giving conflicting instructions and then sending the secretary a "warning" letter (you accumulate three and she can sack you). I left to go on two weeks' holiday and when I came back, the secretary was gone and her name was not mentioned. I asked where she was and was met with silence. With the commission staff all gone (none would work for her) and now the secretary gone, there was nobody else for her to nitpick except me. She & I were still getting on sort-of OK, but I knew it wouldn't last. I overheard her ringing the disability agency who had sent me to her, asking for more people with my disability "because they're hard workers and very bright". We did need more staff but I knew it would be horrible for them. Finally the extra hours she was asking from me took their toll and my health collapsed. My doctor ordered me onto bed rest. The boss even asked me to work from home (from my bed!) making phone calls for her. I'd already done that on my holidays, receiving business calls on my mobile (for which I was not paid). I asked the boss for a reference. I didn't even get a statement of employment from her. I finally worked out what you need to hold on to - you owe her nothing. Her loyalty towards you is nowhere near yours towards her. I know you feel a sense of obligation, to leave your work in a state of completion. I understand that, but do be prepared to walk away when it becomes necessary. Do not feel guilty. I left before my boss really began to target me, but I knew it would happen and it was just beginning. She took my enforced leave as a personal insult, as if I had engineered my health collapse deliberately to inconvenience her. I DID work from home as best I could to tide her over, but it was a lull time in the job by that point. And I never got paid for that, nor did I get any recognition. She was a flaming idiot. She at one stage claimed that she had spent a lot of time and effort training me, which was nonsense. The software she was using, I was more familiar with and I showed her some new tricks she had never known. I brought her useful contacts which she never valued (her boss did) and at one stage, when I was given the task to contact a high-ranking official, she got angry with me for contacting the wrong person. In fact, I had contacted the right person - he had been in that job for six months, and the man she had expected me to contact, and who she had been dealing with, was the outgoing holder of that position. She wouldn't take my word for it, and when she saw him on the news that night she accepted what I'd said, but never apologised. Ever since this, I have learned to stop trying to beat my head against the brick wall of other people's insecurities and inadequacies. I have too many other important things to do in my life, than waste my time with bullies. Walk away as soon as you are ready, and do it with a clear conscience. You deserve better than this. I do wonder, for you and me, if there could also be some aspect of, "this person is disabled, therefore I can assume their brain isn't functioning as well as mine, I can get away with being condescending." I prefer to hang around people who value me as I am, not for what they assume me to be limited to. People like you and me are not limited by disability, nor are we defined by it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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