Wobbly Wednesday

[Malika]

Yesterday was not good. J was at the Wednesday play centre... when I picked him up, I asked how the day had been for him and one of the assistants told me that in the afternoon J had come up to her and taken her hold of her hand in a way that hurt. I imagined that it was one of his not-thinking, impulsive brusque gestures. I asked him to come and apologise to her, which he eventually did. However, later on that evening, he let slip that this woman had pushed him (he says) and that he had been angry with her... So it may well have been deliberate. And then we had all this performance before we left the play centre because he put decorations from the Christmas tree in his pocket and was going to take them - the other boy who goes there who also has ADHD (but they all say he is "much more complicated" than J, whatever that means) was shouting that he had stolen them... So we fish the decorations out of his pocket, with J denying that he has anything, and put them back. And then, in the car, I discover he has a third decoration which he had hidden. He started telling me a friend had given it to him, insisted on this version until I got really angry. Of course he had stolen it... well, it is stealing really, and he knows it. So I am taking him back to the centre this lunchtime and he will give it back and say sorry... it may seem trivial but I don't feel like it is. Qui vole un oeuf vole un boeuf, as the French say. Then last night he was very oppositional and rude, doing his "gangster boy" act.

Also in the evening I realised I had forgotten to give him his "medicine" in the morning - magnesium and zinc, iron, and Omega 3. Could this have anything to do with his awful behaviour yesterday?? I have been giving him this stuff for years, not really know whether it does any good whatsoever...

 

[welcometowitsend]

Malika - I'm so sorry yesterday wasn't a good day for J. It sounds like there was a lot going on at the play centre. I'd be tempted to ask J what happened before the assistant pushed him. I know with difficult child it was like pulling teeth to get information out of him and when I did finally get the info I understood his behaviour a lot better.

I'm with you on the stealing. I'm the same way with lying. I absolutely hate it - and if you'll steal something small, you'll steal something big and the same with lying. To me it's the same thing.

As for the vitamins/medication - it definitely could have something to do with his behaviour. The only way to tell is to put him back on it for a while and then take him off for another day and see what happens. Not sure if you want to do that. Regardless, they are good for him and definitely can not hurt at all. I'm a firm believer in natural and holistic medicine if it is possible so I say Go for it!

Hope today is a better day.

 

[Ktllc]

I totally agree with you on the stealing and lying. It does not matter how "small" it is. And whatever the circumstances, one should assume the responsibilities of our mistakes/behavior.
Last weekend, we were decorating the house, and V was in charge of handing me the push-pins. Later that day, I decided to tidy Sweet Pea's bed and dicovered a push pin, nicely position point up under 2 layers of blankets!! I was FURIOUS. And V's lying made the whole situation worse. Evently he came to me and adimitted doing it. I could not get an answer as of why but my blood pressure went down as soon as he confessed. We talked about how hurt Sweet Pea could have been... I don't believe it sunk in.
But regardless of diagnosis and challenges, certain things cannot be accepted. It does not mean it won't happen, but I believe the reaction of the parent should be strong enough to convey disaproval and disapointment.

 

[tiredmommy]

Definitely, these are life lessons that all children must learn if they are to grow up and be successful living in a civilised society. I imagine he was very excited at the impending holiday (and frankly, I think schools and daycares add to that excitement by over-hyping everything) so he impulsively took the decorations, then lied to try to avoid being in trouble. A lot of kids have these sorts of issues this time of year but an appropriate consequence is still in order. Perhaps drawing a picture (or writing a note) to apologize for the behavior? That is what good citizens do when they make a mistake.