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women who keep going back to abusers???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725692" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you both very much for your insight.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps this is not relevant, but I was very abused as a kid by my mom and my parents did fight, but maybe because I usually saw the fights as started by my mom, I was not attracted to bad boys. I saw my mom as the bad guy, not my dad, and I sure didnt want her in a male form lol!</p><p></p><p>But drama was something I understood until I also got into therapy and realized it wasn't normal or good and learned to dislike it in a partner. Or in friends. As I grew older my life became surrounded by nice people. The exceptions were my sister, the little she spoke to me and sometimes my dad would erupt. But not the others I knew.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps being forced out of a high drama, not nice dysfunctional family helped me. I did, interestingly, put up with drama and hurt until recently with my sister because I loved her so much, but I realize now I can't make her low drama. She is not young, but seems to go for high drama friends and men, but then she was surrounded by my high drama family very tightly most of her life and did not go for therapy until her 50s. My brother is low drama and amazing as a person. With all the drama around him, he rebuffed it. Always.</p><p></p><p>Therapy matters. A lot.</p><p></p><p>So sis will likely never give up this dramatic man or ever truly romantically love a nice man. It is sad.</p><p></p><p>I get it a little now, but don't understand preferring what you are used to if it is abusive. But there seems to be something to that.</p><p></p><p>Susie, I love your "strong, smart" girl thing! Jumper is very strong and in emotional intelligence very smart. That is the perfect thing to tell a daughter. I never ever made a fuss out of how one looks.</p><p></p><p>Like you, beautiful features never impressed me, in myself or others. Beauty fades. Who you are never fades.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again and have a good night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725692, member: 1550"] Thank you both very much for your insight. Perhaps this is not relevant, but I was very abused as a kid by my mom and my parents did fight, but maybe because I usually saw the fights as started by my mom, I was not attracted to bad boys. I saw my mom as the bad guy, not my dad, and I sure didnt want her in a male form lol! But drama was something I understood until I also got into therapy and realized it wasn't normal or good and learned to dislike it in a partner. Or in friends. As I grew older my life became surrounded by nice people. The exceptions were my sister, the little she spoke to me and sometimes my dad would erupt. But not the others I knew. Perhaps being forced out of a high drama, not nice dysfunctional family helped me. I did, interestingly, put up with drama and hurt until recently with my sister because I loved her so much, but I realize now I can't make her low drama. She is not young, but seems to go for high drama friends and men, but then she was surrounded by my high drama family very tightly most of her life and did not go for therapy until her 50s. My brother is low drama and amazing as a person. With all the drama around him, he rebuffed it. Always. Therapy matters. A lot. So sis will likely never give up this dramatic man or ever truly romantically love a nice man. It is sad. I get it a little now, but don't understand preferring what you are used to if it is abusive. But there seems to be something to that. Susie, I love your "strong, smart" girl thing! Jumper is very strong and in emotional intelligence very smart. That is the perfect thing to tell a daughter. I never ever made a fuss out of how one looks. Like you, beautiful features never impressed me, in myself or others. Beauty fades. Who you are never fades. Thanks again and have a good night. [/QUOTE]
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