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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 204734"><p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p><p style="text-align: left"><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST [/FONT]</span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> </p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.[/FONT]</span></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span> </p><p>[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"> </span>[/FONT]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #008040"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>WOMEN'S REVENGE</strong></span></span></span>[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #008000">'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. </span></span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #008000">As she fumbled for her wallet</span></span>[/FONT]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"> <span style="color: #0000ff">, </span></span><span style="color: #008000">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.[/FONT]</span></span></p><p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #008000">'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #008000">'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, </span></span>[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #008040">and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally..' </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN</strong></span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I know I'm not going to understand women.</span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and still be afraid of a spider.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #800080"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>MARRIAGE SEMINAR</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #800080">While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, </span></span>[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #800080">Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, </span></span>[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #800080">'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #800080">He addressed the man, </span></span>[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #800080">'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?' </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #800080">Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it? </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<strong>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS</strong>[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She directs him down the correct aisle. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He answers, 'You see, it's like this, [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]yesterday, I sent my wife to the store [/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and some rolling [/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff00ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial](I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong>WIFE VS. HUSBAND</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">An earlier discussion had led to an argument and </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">neither of them wanted to concede their position. </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left">[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px"> <span style="color: #0000ff">'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' </span></span>[/FONT]</p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> <span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Red">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<strong>WORDS</strong>[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]30,000 to a man's 15,000.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #ff0000">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> </p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: center"><p style="text-align: left"> </p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<strong>The Silent Treatment</strong>[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man and his wife were having some problems at home [/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and were giving each other the silent treatment.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him [/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, [/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]'Please wake me at 5:00 AM '[/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He left it where he knew she would find it.[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial] see why his wife hadn't wakened him,[/FONT]</span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]when he noticed a piece of paper by[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial] the bed. [/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: #0000ff"><span style="font-size: 18px">[FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]<span style="font-size: 12px">The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.</span>[/FONT]</span></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: Black">The last one is my absolute favorite! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></span> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 204734"] [CENTER] [LEFT][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/LEFT] [/CENTER] [LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/LEFT] [SIZE=3] [/SIZE] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=3][COLOR=#008040][FONT=Times New Roman][B]WOMEN'S REVENGE[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#008000]'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#008000]As she fumbled for her wallet[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial] [COLOR=#0000ff], [/COLOR][/FONT][COLOR=#008000][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [LEFT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#008000]'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#008000]'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#008040]and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally..' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/LEFT] [SIZE=3] [/SIZE] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff][B]UNDERSTANDING WOMEN[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Times New Roman][B](A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Times New Roman]I know I'm not going to understand women.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Times New Roman]I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and still be afraid of a spider.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#800080][FONT=Times New Roman][B]MARRIAGE SEMINAR[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#800080]While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#800080]Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#800080]'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#800080]He addressed the man, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=#800080]'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#800080]Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][B]CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She directs him down the correct aisle. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He answers, 'You see, it's like this, [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]yesterday, I sent my wife to the store [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff]to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and some rolling [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff00ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial](I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Times New Roman][B]WIFE VS. HUSBAND[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]An earlier discussion had led to an argument and [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]neither of them wanted to concede their position. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3] [COLOR=#0000ff]'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=Red][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][B]WORDS[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]30,000 to a man's 15,000.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#ff0000][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [/LEFT] [CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][LEFT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][B]The Silent Treatment[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]A man and his wife were having some problems at home [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]and were giving each other the silent treatment.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]'Please wake me at 5:00 AM '[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]He left it where he knew she would find it.[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial] see why his wife hadn't wakened him,[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]when he noticed a piece of paper by[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial] the bed. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [COLOR=#0000ff][SIZE=5][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial][SIZE=3]The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [COLOR=Black]The last one is my absolute favorite! :rofl:[/COLOR] [/LEFT] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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