This is not acute matter at all, just something I have been wondering past few days. My difficult child got himself addicted to gambling, mainly poker and other internet casino stuff, around two years ago. He was still 16 at the time and used other people identity to have an access in the first place. First he was able to gamble using his pocket money, then he won bit more once and that was that really started an addiction. After that he started to loose and quickly lost all the money he had. But at that point he was already compulsive and first started selling his things in local craigslist equivalent and to people he knew. That money didn't last long and he started to steal from home. That I can easily understand. It was easy and we didn't even notice it at first. But then he started to steal from his team mates and that I don't really get. They were closest things he had for the friends. They didn't like him in the first place, he was anything but popular and there had been fights and trouble but still they had his back. I can still understand how it started, he probably was alone at the locker room and noticed someone had left some money to be seen and impulsively took it. But he continued doing it quite some time. He didn't get a lot of money, they were after all other kids' pocket moneys. And he had to know he was going to get caught and it would cost him awfully lot. His reputation, his friends, his place in the team, his dreams, his sport. He was stealing from locked room with very limited access, he had to know, he would soon be caught. And he was and it really ended up being spectacular crash and burn and cost him awfully lot. He has recouped better than anyone would had believed even a year ago, but it has been very hard for him. Consequences have been harsh in many ways. Afterwards he was of course asked if friendship, honour, his sport or anything else didn't mean anything for him, but we never really got an answer. And I just assumed that the addiction was so strong, he had to get money somehow to continue. And that is certainly part of it. But last week he confessed that he did shoplift a lot earlier, when he was 13 to 15 and never got caught. He was coerced and blackmailed to that by few bullies with whom he desperately wanted to be friends with. After hearing that I have been wondering, why he didn't do the same when he needed money for gambling. He could had shoplifted and sold things to his school mates or through craigslist. If caught the consequences would had been minimal compared to stealing from team mates. And he knew how to do it and hadn't been caught earlier. And as I said, he had to know he would be caught while stealing from team mates. And he probably would had gotten more money than from his friends. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I can't ask this from difficult child even now. He is under a lot of stress and pressure and doesn't need me to start digging old things up. There is enough of stress and challenge for him to handle without that. The new very high pressure situation with his sport, the rather tough behaviour modification program he has agreed into, on-going social issues inside his current team, deciding if this is time and place there he wants to really tackle some of the root causes of his problems (PTSD type symptoms from years of very bad bullying), getting his school finished and handling all the normal problems one has to handle while trying to grow up and become independent. So it would not be a good idea to harass him any more with these old things and demand explanations. And maybe he doesn't even have one. But still I wonder. He is a fool, but he is not stupid. Did he want to get caught? Or was it just passive-aggressive revenge? Or self-sabotage for the heck of it? I just don't get it.