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Family of Origin
Work and Germany; Benedictines and Buddhists: Attitude
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 673742" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son called.</p><p></p><p>He did not mention an apocalyptic event.</p><p></p><p>We spoke maybe a half hour. It was a real conversation. It had a theme. Both of us spoke. He listened. He did not interrupt. It was substantive. I spoke from the heart.</p><p></p><p>The gist was this: His friend, who is also is boss, broke up with his girlfriend. She kicked him out because he "drank one two many beers."</p><p></p><p>My son complained that the Dad is now coming down on both of them hard about the marijuana. When both young men left, the Dad yells, "I know what your're going to do out of my sight," or something like that. My son said (I do not necessarily believe this is true) the Dad went through his pack.</p><p></p><p>My son argues with him. (The Dad is a devout Christian. Dogma more than practice.)</p><p>He tries to tell the Dad his beliefs are illogical. We have had this discussion before.</p><p></p><p>My stance is always this: E holds the power. Father and son have been loyal and caring friends for 16 years. Show him respect. Honor him for his kindness to you. Regardless of what he believes, do not attack him. You are under his roof.</p><p></p><p>First there is self-interest. But over and above that there is doing the right thing. Decency. Do not bite the hand that feeds you.</p><p></p><p>He cannot understand this. He keeps focused on logic. Rationality.</p><p></p><p>I tried again: The most important thing is loyalty and love. This family has shown you that. Honor them. I mentioned my mother and sister, and how I had regrets about how I had lived. He listened.</p><p></p><p>But kept on to his right to smoke marijuana. How healthy it is...</p><p></p><p>J it is not that I dispute your right to use marijuana if you have the legal right to do so. I am just saying, you might want to respect the Dad. Because it is the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>Nobody hung up on the other. He mentioned that he was hopeful that he would receive his debit card for SSI soon so as to have money to eat. I said something like, if you don't it might motivate you to hang on to the card. *Actually it was wittier than this. </p><p></p><p>He laughed.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 673742, member: 18958"] My son called. He did not mention an apocalyptic event. We spoke maybe a half hour. It was a real conversation. It had a theme. Both of us spoke. He listened. He did not interrupt. It was substantive. I spoke from the heart. The gist was this: His friend, who is also is boss, broke up with his girlfriend. She kicked him out because he "drank one two many beers." My son complained that the Dad is now coming down on both of them hard about the marijuana. When both young men left, the Dad yells, "I know what your're going to do out of my sight," or something like that. My son said (I do not necessarily believe this is true) the Dad went through his pack. My son argues with him. (The Dad is a devout Christian. Dogma more than practice.) He tries to tell the Dad his beliefs are illogical. We have had this discussion before. My stance is always this: E holds the power. Father and son have been loyal and caring friends for 16 years. Show him respect. Honor him for his kindness to you. Regardless of what he believes, do not attack him. You are under his roof. First there is self-interest. But over and above that there is doing the right thing. Decency. Do not bite the hand that feeds you. He cannot understand this. He keeps focused on logic. Rationality. I tried again: The most important thing is loyalty and love. This family has shown you that. Honor them. I mentioned my mother and sister, and how I had regrets about how I had lived. He listened. But kept on to his right to smoke marijuana. How healthy it is... J it is not that I dispute your right to use marijuana if you have the legal right to do so. I am just saying, you might want to respect the Dad. Because it is the right thing to do. Nobody hung up on the other. He mentioned that he was hopeful that he would receive his debit card for SSI soon so as to have money to eat. I said something like, if you don't it might motivate you to hang on to the card. *Actually it was wittier than this. He laughed. COPA [/QUOTE]
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