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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 673999" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Dream: I am driving my own real car. It is old, but I really like it. In real life, that is my car here. A little white convertible; white inside and out and really cute to me. In the dream, the hubcap cover falls off the left back tire with a clattering. I accept that these things can happen, stop the car, find the cover, re-affix it, and continue driving.</p><p></p><p>There is something here about the noise it makes, falling so unexpectedly off. Something that would normally freeze me in place and prevent my driving confidently, again.</p><p></p><p>Something that would normally leave me feeling stupid, and berating myself for not having known I had a hubcap cover instead of a wheel that did not need a cover to make it look pretty. In the dream, I see it, understand what it is, am mildly surprised that the wheels have fake hubcap covers on them, the kind of thing people put on their cars to make them look prettier.</p><p></p><p>On my real car, the wheels are fine and there is no hubcap cover thingie.</p><p></p><p>I think I had that dream before awakening to those thoughts of my mother that turned from pleasant to resent filled.</p><p></p><p>I have not had a dream in which I was driving before.</p><p></p><p>In the dreams I have had about driving in the past, I am a passenger. There have been two dreams. In one, my mother is driving, and though I own the car, I am in the back seat. We go through a drive in window to order food and my mother says: "Pepper!" </p><p></p><p>That's the dream.</p><p></p><p>It's from years and years ago, after our family became so troubled.</p><p></p><p>In the other dream, D H becomes very sick. I am supposed to drive, and I do take the wheel, but I cannot stay awake. Dark and stormy weather with thunder and lightning.</p><p></p><p>This dream was from that same time, years and years ago.</p><p></p><p>Oh, wait. I must have dreams about cars and driving all the time. I remember now that there was a dream about driving a hugely powerful car backwards, roaringly, powerfully, backwards up the canal where we live. The car is hugely powerful and makes roaringly loud noises and displaces massive amounts of water and I am driving, fast, and looking behind me to do so.</p><p></p><p>It is night.</p><p></p><p>Little scary, that dream.</p><p></p><p>Maybe three years ago, I had that dream.</p><p></p><p>Another: A very old car, huge in the way old cars are, rises from beneath the sand under the ocean. It is scoured clean of rust or debris or paint by the sand as it has come to the surface under the ocean.</p><p></p><p>Sunny water.</p><p></p><p>Like in the videos Leafy posts for us.</p><p></p><p>That dream about three years ago, too.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Tai Chi this afternoon, and volunteer work tomorrow everyone, so I may not post again until Thursday.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for witnessing for me. </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 673999, member: 17461"] Dream: I am driving my own real car. It is old, but I really like it. In real life, that is my car here. A little white convertible; white inside and out and really cute to me. In the dream, the hubcap cover falls off the left back tire with a clattering. I accept that these things can happen, stop the car, find the cover, re-affix it, and continue driving. There is something here about the noise it makes, falling so unexpectedly off. Something that would normally freeze me in place and prevent my driving confidently, again. Something that would normally leave me feeling stupid, and berating myself for not having known I had a hubcap cover instead of a wheel that did not need a cover to make it look pretty. In the dream, I see it, understand what it is, am mildly surprised that the wheels have fake hubcap covers on them, the kind of thing people put on their cars to make them look prettier. On my real car, the wheels are fine and there is no hubcap cover thingie. I think I had that dream before awakening to those thoughts of my mother that turned from pleasant to resent filled. I have not had a dream in which I was driving before. In the dreams I have had about driving in the past, I am a passenger. There have been two dreams. In one, my mother is driving, and though I own the car, I am in the back seat. We go through a drive in window to order food and my mother says: "Pepper!" That's the dream. It's from years and years ago, after our family became so troubled. In the other dream, D H becomes very sick. I am supposed to drive, and I do take the wheel, but I cannot stay awake. Dark and stormy weather with thunder and lightning. This dream was from that same time, years and years ago. Oh, wait. I must have dreams about cars and driving all the time. I remember now that there was a dream about driving a hugely powerful car backwards, roaringly, powerfully, backwards up the canal where we live. The car is hugely powerful and makes roaringly loud noises and displaces massive amounts of water and I am driving, fast, and looking behind me to do so. It is night. Little scary, that dream. Maybe three years ago, I had that dream. Another: A very old car, huge in the way old cars are, rises from beneath the sand under the ocean. It is scoured clean of rust or debris or paint by the sand as it has come to the surface under the ocean. Sunny water. Like in the videos Leafy posts for us. That dream about three years ago, too. *** Tai Chi this afternoon, and volunteer work tomorrow everyone, so I may not post again until Thursday. Thank you for witnessing for me. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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