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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674152" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Yes. I will remember, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I posted this for California on her thread but I love it for us, too:</p><p></p><p><em>"We are seldom aware of the profound effect that unresolved negative emotions have on us."</em></p><p></p><p><em>"Dampened by years of self-distrust, displaced by years of codependency in which we have channeled our creative energies into managing others' perceptions of us, those energies awaken with startling power and poignancy. We are like avalanche survivors, coming to with tingling limbs as we rejoice in our survival, throwing off the numbing weight of others' agendas.</em></p><p></p><p><em>Julia Cameron</em></p><p><em>The Artist's Way at Work</em></p><p></p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p><p>When I envision the event so that I can see the eyes of the abuser, Copa? That is where those lessons were learned, for me. It was that truth, the one in the eyes of the abuser, that I needed Maya and the others to witness for me to be able to dispel the breakage place.</p><p></p><p>To dis spell; to break the hypnotic place where we break. </p><p></p><p>But I could not do it without imagining the abuser's behaviors witnessed by women stronger than I am. More than one, even.</p><p></p><p>Maya, the black lady from Matrix, Lisa Vanderpump. Who said, on one of the shows that I saw when I was watching all those episodes of Beverly Hills Housewives after daughter's beating: "Unacceptable." She was talking about something one of them had done to the other. But when I brought her in as imaginary witness for me, she said it upon witnessing what had happened to me. </p><p></p><p>"Unacceptable."</p><p></p><p>And it was an utter condemnation of the adult abuser's behavior toward the little girl I was suddenly able to see as myself.</p><p></p><p>Free.</p><p></p><p>Dispelled.</p><p></p><p>It was hard, though, to go through it.</p><p></p><p>Remember how I just wasn't sure I could come through it?</p><p></p><p>Thank you for witnessing for me, Copa and Serenity, IC, pasa.</p><p></p><p>It mattered, knowing you were reading along.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I learned that I was holding my son in contempt too, Copa. Remember when you helped me with it? I could not see where I was judging him or how I was holding every broken dream against him.</p><p></p><p>I have come so far in the way I see him and myself and all of my family since that time, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes! A beautifully drawn point, Leafy!</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Regarding your feelings about your sister asking you why you are not painting, Leafy. Here is a quote from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way at Work. I even have the page number on this one: p 186</p><p></p><p><em>Our creative self is characterized by a youthful vulnerability. This means feelings of distrust and fear can easily be triggered and spiral out</em> <em>of control without adult intervention. We carry within us both the Creative Child and the discerning, protective adult ~ and we do need both.</em></p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>I am not through reading and responding, Copa. Tai Chi this afternoon. So, I will write more, tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>I think J is beautifully tall. </p><p></p><p>If he is being underpaid Copa, I think J would be the best person to deal with this. If you become involved, it will be like when I was forever calling the homeless shelter about my daughter. </p><p></p><p>The child suffers.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674152, member: 17461"] Yes. I will remember, Copa. I posted this for California on her thread but I love it for us, too: [I]"We are seldom aware of the profound effect that unresolved negative emotions have on us."[/I] [I]"Dampened by years of self-distrust, displaced by years of codependency in which we have channeled our creative energies into managing others' perceptions of us, those energies awaken with startling power and poignancy. We are like avalanche survivors, coming to with tingling limbs as we rejoice in our survival, throwing off the numbing weight of others' agendas.[/I] [I]Julia Cameron The Artist's Way at Work[/I] [I] [/I] When I envision the event so that I can see the eyes of the abuser, Copa? That is where those lessons were learned, for me. It was that truth, the one in the eyes of the abuser, that I needed Maya and the others to witness for me to be able to dispel the breakage place. To dis spell; to break the hypnotic place where we break. But I could not do it without imagining the abuser's behaviors witnessed by women stronger than I am. More than one, even. Maya, the black lady from Matrix, Lisa Vanderpump. Who said, on one of the shows that I saw when I was watching all those episodes of Beverly Hills Housewives after daughter's beating: "Unacceptable." She was talking about something one of them had done to the other. But when I brought her in as imaginary witness for me, she said it upon witnessing what had happened to me. "Unacceptable." And it was an utter condemnation of the adult abuser's behavior toward the little girl I was suddenly able to see as myself. Free. Dispelled. It was hard, though, to go through it. Remember how I just wasn't sure I could come through it? Thank you for witnessing for me, Copa and Serenity, IC, pasa. It mattered, knowing you were reading along. I learned that I was holding my son in contempt too, Copa. Remember when you helped me with it? I could not see where I was judging him or how I was holding every broken dream against him. I have come so far in the way I see him and myself and all of my family since that time, Copa. Thank you. Yes! A beautifully drawn point, Leafy! :O) *** Regarding your feelings about your sister asking you why you are not painting, Leafy. Here is a quote from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way at Work. I even have the page number on this one: p 186 [I]Our creative self is characterized by a youthful vulnerability. This means feelings of distrust and fear can easily be triggered and spiral out[/I] [I]of control without adult intervention. We carry within us both the Creative Child and the discerning, protective adult ~ and we do need both.[/I] Cedar I am not through reading and responding, Copa. Tai Chi this afternoon. So, I will write more, tomorrow. I think J is beautifully tall. If he is being underpaid Copa, I think J would be the best person to deal with this. If you become involved, it will be like when I was forever calling the homeless shelter about my daughter. The child suffers. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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