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World war 3 (about a helmet)
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 519078" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Since Sunday is normally the day you spend together, have you considered setting up a schedule for Sunday and writing it down? With meals at the same time as on weekdays at hsi school, bedtime the saem on Fri and Sat nights instead of letting him stay up late (if you do that, most parents that I know will let kids stay up later if htey don't have school the next day), and some sort of routine so he knows what is going on when? </p><p></p><p>LDM is right about just saying "no helmet, no bike riding" and walking away from him. When he pulls the tearful I want my daddy I want my grandma stuff, it is better to say that it is okay to want them and when he is calm he can put on his helmet and go riding rather than to stop and cuddle him. The cuddles and soothing are doing 2 things here. First is to reinforce taht if mommy is mad then I should cry and all will be well and I will get nice things. It is also NOT teaching him that he CAN calm hmself down. that is such an important skill. It is a secondary thing in this situation, but it does play into things.</p><p></p><p>When you go all comforting and cuddling, you are teachng him that he CAN be that rude to you and if you are upset at his rudeness it doesn't really matter. Because ALL he has to do is play the "I miss my whomever" card with the tear card and it is all good and wonderful and he gets a treat.</p><p></p><p>What time of day do the meltdowns/arguments/whatever generally happen? If it at the same time roughly? How long before the meltdown/rudeness/upset was his last meal/snack that had protein and not a lot of sugar/starch stuff? With my kids, the boys esp, if they went more than about 3 hours since they had some protein then the rudeness/problems came out. Esp if our routine was off that day. It was even worse if they had junk food, esp sugary stuff or sugary drinks as the last thing they ate. The sugar doesn't make them hyper, but when the blood sugar crashes about 30 min-1 hr after eating a sugary snack it is a great recipe for problem behaviors. </p><p></p><p>Those won't help today, but they might be things you could start to watch for future Sundays.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 519078, member: 1233"] Since Sunday is normally the day you spend together, have you considered setting up a schedule for Sunday and writing it down? With meals at the same time as on weekdays at hsi school, bedtime the saem on Fri and Sat nights instead of letting him stay up late (if you do that, most parents that I know will let kids stay up later if htey don't have school the next day), and some sort of routine so he knows what is going on when? LDM is right about just saying "no helmet, no bike riding" and walking away from him. When he pulls the tearful I want my daddy I want my grandma stuff, it is better to say that it is okay to want them and when he is calm he can put on his helmet and go riding rather than to stop and cuddle him. The cuddles and soothing are doing 2 things here. First is to reinforce taht if mommy is mad then I should cry and all will be well and I will get nice things. It is also NOT teaching him that he CAN calm hmself down. that is such an important skill. It is a secondary thing in this situation, but it does play into things. When you go all comforting and cuddling, you are teachng him that he CAN be that rude to you and if you are upset at his rudeness it doesn't really matter. Because ALL he has to do is play the "I miss my whomever" card with the tear card and it is all good and wonderful and he gets a treat. What time of day do the meltdowns/arguments/whatever generally happen? If it at the same time roughly? How long before the meltdown/rudeness/upset was his last meal/snack that had protein and not a lot of sugar/starch stuff? With my kids, the boys esp, if they went more than about 3 hours since they had some protein then the rudeness/problems came out. Esp if our routine was off that day. It was even worse if they had junk food, esp sugary stuff or sugary drinks as the last thing they ate. The sugar doesn't make them hyper, but when the blood sugar crashes about 30 min-1 hr after eating a sugary snack it is a great recipe for problem behaviors. Those won't help today, but they might be things you could start to watch for future Sundays. [/QUOTE]
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