World War III - Mom vs. Toddler

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by joneshockey, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    I don't even know where to begin... That has got to have been the worst night with B2, since going on medications 1 1/2 weeks ago. This unfortunately was not a good night for FF1 to have to work. B2 decided to just start kicking, spitting and biting at B1 for absolutely no reason. When I went to put him in time out be started to kick and scratch (which he drew blood)at me - Little did I know that this would be the start of a 2 hour fit of rage. At his psychiatric appointment. today we decided that we needed to make adjustments to B2's sleep routine, since he still won't go to bed with-o being rocked to sleep... We were to rock 10 minutes and then put him into bed - He was kicking, hitting, scratching and screaming at the top of his lungs while I rocked him, since I had told him prior to starting what was going to happen. After about 5 minutes I told him he needed to stop or I wasn't gong to rock him anymore... He continued anway - After hauling him up to bed kicking and screaming he proceeded to throw ALL his blankets, pillows and stuffed animals onto the floor - When I told him I wasn't going to give them back he began spitting and kicking the walls and side of the bed (which I ignored)all while screaming and crying. This behavior went on for another hour... I just sat and watched him and didnt say anything to him. It had to have been one of the hardest things to watch thus far... It took ALL my willpower not to give in to him or breakdown in tears. Once he calmed down I did give him a pillow and his blanket. I then told him I would remain in the room for 5 more minutes and that if he wasnt asleep by then that he would have to go to sleep without me there. Even though he wasnt asleep after the 5 minutes I was shocked to see that he didnt get up out of bed and follow me out of the room - he remained in bed and when I checked on him 5 minutes later he was sound asleep! I guess that I must've won this round... I did break down and have a good cry once it was competely over though since I am totally drained mentally and physically. I am already dreading tomorrow night's round though...
  2. april727

    april727 Guest


    Wow. I feel your pain. I just came across this website through searching for support for my child.

    Six weeks ago my husband and I agreed to allow my cousin's daughter, D1 (3.5 year old) live with us and my son, S1 (5 year old). D1's mom is an alchoholic and drug addict. There was lots of violence, alcoholism, abuse and drama in their house. CPS got involved and took D1 from her mom and dad. My husband and I were given 1 week +/- to decide if we were going to let D1 live with us. There was no one else in our extended family that "qualified" by CPS standards to take her in.

    We prayed and thought about it and agreed. She has so many behavioral issues that I don't know what to do about. S1 never acted this way. He's been a good-tempered child since birth. D1 will hit herself, scratch herself in the face, bite herself, etc. when she is being corrected. She will throw fits lasting hours at a time. She will scream and yell and throw things. She does not seem to know how to self-soothe at all. She is very strong willed and refuses to give in.

    She is mean to my husband, mean to S1, uses foul language at school. Is very manipulative and deceiptful. I don't see how she has learned all this at such an early age. It is truly disturbing.

    I feel like I'm in a boxing ring with her constantly. I win some, I lose some. All I know is I am exhausted and looking for some support. Some understanding. Somehow it is helpful to know that there is another person in this world who knows the powerlessness you feel when all this is going on.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi April! I copied your post over to its own thread so that more could happen along and identify you as a new member. You'll get more individual response if you have your own started up. I'll chat with you on yours in a few minutes! Welcome to the crowd - it's a great group of people!

  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Jones! Wow - sounds like a really fun night...NOT! I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that...after a while it'll calm down and he'll get used to it.

    We went through that stuff with difficult child 3. She finally stopped showing up in our bed when I bought her an alarm clock for her room and told her that she was in charge of waking me up so that I could get everyone ready for school/work. The first night she showed up in my room I asked her how she'd hear the clock if she was in my bed and walked her down the hall.

    Again, I'm really sorry that you ended up crying. It's not an easy job, but we're here for you to try and help with these painful moments. Big hugs to you and the little one. He'll get over it eventually.

    Feel better!

  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What a tough night!

    After re-reading your post a few times, I wonder if the change in bedtime routine should have been discussed with him long before it was actually bedtime. It sounds as if you told him what was going to happen, he reacted badly, and you proceeded to try the new routine anyway...

    I wonder if you might have better luck having a "dress rehearsal" earlier in the day....go over what is going to happen. Practice using a stuffed animal or something "let's see if we can get your teddy to take a nap..."

    Might be worth a try...
  6. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    DaisyFace ~
    I agree with your comments. I guess I didnt think that he would make as HUGE of a deal of it as he did, plus we didnt get home from his therapist until 4:00, so between getting dinner ready and his brother's tutoring schedule we didnt have a whole lot of time last night nor did I think of doing that. I will definately do the whole dress rehearsal with him in a little bit and we will try it out at nap time this afternoon... Wish me luck - I definately need it! I will keep you posted and let you know how it goes today!
  7. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    Just wanted to let everyone know that naptime today was a breeze with the new routine, however it still took him over an hour to go to sleep, but at least I didnt have to rock him and he only got out of bed once! We are currently working on bedtime... I have rocked him and sat with him and now I am waiting for him to fall asleep - He has gotten out of bed just once so far and I am keeping my fingers crossed that will be it. I am doubtful that he will remain there all night, but at least I can start to enjoy a quiet evening without the routine of rocking B2 for 1-2 hours straight! We have also discovered that he think that there are spiders that crawl all over his bed and that is why he comes into our bed so many times at night... I also tried to solve this problem by "spraying" the spiders away (I used airfreshener) so there is a small chance he may stay all night, but I am not giong to hold my breath on that one!

  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! I was wondering how it was going. difficult child 2 was hogging my computer embroilled in a battle with some fish that attacks his boat. Sigh!

    Got my fingers crossed!

  9. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    Update... He did get up a total of 4 times before he finally went to sleep... Not bad at all considering the night we had last night! However, it still took him a total of 1 1/2 hours to go to sleep - We are hopeful that once B2 is up to his full dose of his medication that he may be able to fall asleep quicker. Every 3 days we have been increasing his dose. Starting tomorrow he will be taking the full amount perscribed by his Psychiatrist. I am hopeful that we will continue to see progress at bedtime. The next few days may be challenging, since we are heading up to my parents cabin for 3 days - Change in routine may be an issue for B2, but it is on a lake and both B1 & B2 love it there... All the swimming and fresh air usually tires them both out pretty good. I am taking my laptop though, so I will continue to give everyone update while I am there. Thanks for everyone's continuing support! I GREATLY appreciate it!
  10. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Cindy! That's fantastic - he may have only been up 4 times, but at least YOU'RE not crying this time! ;)

    Have a great time at the cabin - run their little legs off - and TRY to get a little rest. Would your psychiatrist consider Melatonin for B2? It's one of those natural remedies that might be of help - a lot of us have had some luck with it for our kiddo's who have trouble sleeping (my 80 year old Dad has started taking it too!). I would just check with the doctor. in case he wants a "pure" sense of how B2 is doing with the medications.

    Have fun!

  11. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    My sister has also reccommended that I try Melatonin to help with- his sleep issue. I will check with the psychiatrist the next time I take B2. Unfortunately, we don't go back to psychiatrist until the end of Sept. so I will have to wait until then to ask, unless you think the psycologist would be able to help with the answer to that? I am hoping to get some rest this weekend and look forward to having some help with- the boys. I am excited because I get to hang out with my cousin (12 yrs. old) who is flying in from Boston for the week and my new niece (through a recent marriage - whom also is 12 yrs. old) is also flying in from Salt Lake City to spend a week with- Grandma & Grandpa. Oh no... It looks like we may be heading up sooner than I expected, since B2 just got up (6:15 AM!!) and I like to try to travel @ around naptime. The 2 hr. drive goes much quicker when it is quiet and there is no arguing :D!

  12. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If he's under a psychiatrist's care, you don't have to wait for an appointment to ask questions. Put a call into the office and ask to speak to a nurse regarding a medication question. If you're waiting to see a doctor, you can always check with your pediatrician.

    Parents here have reported a lot of good successes here with Melatonin, usually with few side effects. anyone considering trialing Meltatonin should check out potential drug interactions with a doctor or pharmacist. I know for instance it shouldn't be combined with certain seizure medications.

    Here's some info.
  13. joneshockey

    joneshockey Guest

    The new bedtime & naptime routine has really been going GREAT! B2 really has gotten used to how we work things now. I think that it even has gotten him motivated to fall asleep faster. There have been several times in the last week that he has fallen alseep in the first 10 minutes because he charishes that 10 minutes of rocking - bye, bye 2 hour struggle each night! Thankfully FF1 has even started to get involved in this process as well, so some nights I can just sit back and relax and he takes care of getting B2 to sleep... I have been waiting for this for the last 3 1/2 years! Now our challenge is keeping him in his bed ALL night, sigh...