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Worried about my brother.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 427807" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Eliza, Linda is right. But you may be able to lead them to it gently, especially once you feel you have a sense of direction. If your brother is approachable and you feel the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test fits him, talk to him about it (when he is calm and receptive) and get him to take the test on himself. My younger daughter did this and was very interested in the result. But you have to judge this, we don't know him. Go gently, if this backfires you lose your chance to get him any help.</p><p></p><p>What helped me in our family - I always presented Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) as a positive thing, it brings gifts. It can explain why some tasks are so challenging and why others are so much easier than for most people. Also, problems now due to Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) do not necessarily last. It is not a "locked in stone" condition, people adapt constantly, and as they adapt, they find their skill areas taking precedence and their poorer function areas being compensated for. Your brother doesn't rage so much lately - sounds like he is adapting. This is good. But it might help him to know it's not his fault, there is a possible valid reason, and there is a lot of support available. My daughter went through school with zero supports because she had no diagnosis (other than mild ADD) but now she's in TAFE and has just enrolled in an external uni course (via SEEK) she is finding a lot of support, and using it. She values her individuality, but also wants help with the various issues she is struggling with. Support at tertiary level is marvellous. Support at secondary level is a shocker. But it is there, and there are alternative directions to take in a career path. We are currently following an easier educational path with difficult child 3 who sounds a lot like your brother - glued to the computer, has his pockets stuffed with just about every hand-held game available and can make them sit up and sing "Waltzing Matilda". difficult child 3 is being directed down a path towards qualifications in computing and electronics. Even though he is still at school, he already has his first TAFE certificate, obtained through school as a Year 11 course. Currently working on his next one.</p><p></p><p>The other angle is with your parents, and the possibility of getting some free counselling for your brother, or for you. You could ask for it for yourself. If you are old enough, you don't need your parent's involvement. Then your success could help start things off with him. Like the cockatoo on the edge of the flock, when it moves off, so do the others.</p><p></p><p>Another point - be wary of feeling like you have to be the one to rescue everybody. This is not your job, although it is a common thing in a family with a dysfunctional person. Kids often feel a strong sense of personal responsibility and want to fix things. Be wary of this becoming a pattern in your life - it is easy to become a person who always rescues others, who only values their contribution if they can make an impact. We need to value ourselves just in being - a hard lesson for a lot of us here on this site! I freely admit to being a rescuer, myself. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 427807, member: 1991"] Eliza, Linda is right. But you may be able to lead them to it gently, especially once you feel you have a sense of direction. If your brother is approachable and you feel the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test fits him, talk to him about it (when he is calm and receptive) and get him to take the test on himself. My younger daughter did this and was very interested in the result. But you have to judge this, we don't know him. Go gently, if this backfires you lose your chance to get him any help. What helped me in our family - I always presented Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) as a positive thing, it brings gifts. It can explain why some tasks are so challenging and why others are so much easier than for most people. Also, problems now due to Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) do not necessarily last. It is not a "locked in stone" condition, people adapt constantly, and as they adapt, they find their skill areas taking precedence and their poorer function areas being compensated for. Your brother doesn't rage so much lately - sounds like he is adapting. This is good. But it might help him to know it's not his fault, there is a possible valid reason, and there is a lot of support available. My daughter went through school with zero supports because she had no diagnosis (other than mild ADD) but now she's in TAFE and has just enrolled in an external uni course (via SEEK) she is finding a lot of support, and using it. She values her individuality, but also wants help with the various issues she is struggling with. Support at tertiary level is marvellous. Support at secondary level is a shocker. But it is there, and there are alternative directions to take in a career path. We are currently following an easier educational path with difficult child 3 who sounds a lot like your brother - glued to the computer, has his pockets stuffed with just about every hand-held game available and can make them sit up and sing "Waltzing Matilda". difficult child 3 is being directed down a path towards qualifications in computing and electronics. Even though he is still at school, he already has his first TAFE certificate, obtained through school as a Year 11 course. Currently working on his next one. The other angle is with your parents, and the possibility of getting some free counselling for your brother, or for you. You could ask for it for yourself. If you are old enough, you don't need your parent's involvement. Then your success could help start things off with him. Like the cockatoo on the edge of the flock, when it moves off, so do the others. Another point - be wary of feeling like you have to be the one to rescue everybody. This is not your job, although it is a common thing in a family with a dysfunctional person. Kids often feel a strong sense of personal responsibility and want to fix things. Be wary of this becoming a pattern in your life - it is easy to become a person who always rescues others, who only values their contribution if they can make an impact. We need to value ourselves just in being - a hard lesson for a lot of us here on this site! I freely admit to being a rescuer, myself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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