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worried about S2BX
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 174442" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>No one likes to hear "listen to your mother". But...</p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red">"LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!"</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">and if you don't want to do that...</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: red">"LISTEN TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!"</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black">His choices are his choices. I really think here (and I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings...if I do, please, please. please know in your heart that my comments are only meant to try and provide a little insight!!!), that you're still in love with him (in your mind). But in reality, you're really in love with the IDEA of him. What could have been, what should have been, what HE COULD HAVE BEEN to himself, you and the boys. But he's not that. He's in a deep dive that is using everyone and everything as an excuse to do what he wants to do. He's narcissistic at best. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Do you really want to chase a dream of what he could be for your boys or do you want them to learn about realities in this life? Chasing a dream like that results in more pain than they deserve. Learning the realities is sort of pulling the Band-Aid off quickly - it hurts for that quick second, but it's over fast. They need to understand that he's an addict and that he's got to take control of his life before he can do the right thing for his boys. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love them, it just means that he's so sick and incapacitated by his addictions or the results of his having been addicted, that he's still not going to be the Dad that they want.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Like BBK said, go back to Al-anon and if there's a chapter in your neighborhood, hitting ala-teen might be a good idea for the boys.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Thinking of you!</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #000000">Beth</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 174442, member: 3814"] No one likes to hear "listen to your mother". But... [SIZE=5][COLOR=red]"LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!"[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][/SIZE] [COLOR=black]and if you don't want to do that...[/COLOR] [SIZE=5][COLOR=red]"LISTEN TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!"[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=5][/SIZE] [COLOR=black]His choices are his choices. I really think here (and I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings...if I do, please, please. please know in your heart that my comments are only meant to try and provide a little insight!!!), that you're still in love with him (in your mind). But in reality, you're really in love with the IDEA of him. What could have been, what should have been, what HE COULD HAVE BEEN to himself, you and the boys. But he's not that. He's in a deep dive that is using everyone and everything as an excuse to do what he wants to do. He's narcissistic at best. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Do you really want to chase a dream of what he could be for your boys or do you want them to learn about realities in this life? Chasing a dream like that results in more pain than they deserve. Learning the realities is sort of pulling the Band-Aid off quickly - it hurts for that quick second, but it's over fast. They need to understand that he's an addict and that he's got to take control of his life before he can do the right thing for his boys. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love them, it just means that he's so sick and incapacitated by his addictions or the results of his having been addicted, that he's still not going to be the Dad that they want.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Like BBK said, go back to Al-anon and if there's a chapter in your neighborhood, hitting ala-teen might be a good idea for the boys.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Thinking of you![/COLOR] [COLOR=#000000]Beth[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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