Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Worried we're approaching crisis time
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 309649" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A couple of quick thoughts here.</p><p></p><p>1) Boys will be boys. When they have a diagnosis we tend to blame that diagnosis, but often - boys will be boys. Not acceptable of course and you have to take action, but don't be too fast to read anything sinister into it. What you describe - it sounds exactly like some of the things that have happened with difficult child 3. And when he gets roused, he also would be behaving exactly as you describe. The extreme emotion of it in difficult child 3 can have him running a fever, from the degree of anger in him. And yes, threats.</p><p></p><p>2) With the "who's in the wrong" stuff, I would fall back on Judge Judy's line. "Who started it by making physical contact first?" It's one thing to throw verbal insults. You can always walk away. There is no need to make physical contact unless physical contact has already been made to you and/or you feel that unless you DO make physical contact, you are in greater danger. But if at any time you could have walked away, and did not - then you are in the wrong. Even if someone else is also in the wrong. it is possible for EVERYBODY to be in the wrong. And him wanting to call the police - he clearly didn't see that he had to own some part in the confrontation. My serious suggestion, if you can set it up (maybe with the help of the local police youth liaison, if you have one - we do) is to request mediation between difficult child 2 and M. Have a cop sit down with them both and talk it through. Sometimes kids behave this way even when they're good friends.</p><p></p><p>3) Blood draws. I hear ya. difficult child 3 HATES blood draws but cooperates. However, his body does not, not readily. He has been lying there (after fainting) so anxious even though he has his arm out ready, that his blood vessels have clamped down so tight the technician can't get a drop out of him. I remember one time the technician had to move to the other arm (a second venepuncture) and even then, only a drop would come out, whenever difficult child 3 breathed out. So we sat there coaching him to breathe, like he was a woman in labour, so eventually they got about 1 ml of blood to do the cross-match needed before surgery.</p><p>Since then we have used emla cream to lower his anxiety. Technicians don't like emla because it can interfere with the blood vessels (they get too floppy). But if he knows that the emla should stop it hurting (just make sure you put it on an hour ahead of time) then it should make it a more painless event. </p><p>I also have explained to difficult child 3 that the doctor doesn't ask for blood draws unless there is a very good reason - our national health insurance will penalise doctors who ask for too many tests, so the doctor isn't asking for the tests just to justify his/her existence.</p><p></p><p>One more thing - whenever there are injuries, make good notes and take photos. You may never need them; but you never know.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 309649, member: 1991"] A couple of quick thoughts here. 1) Boys will be boys. When they have a diagnosis we tend to blame that diagnosis, but often - boys will be boys. Not acceptable of course and you have to take action, but don't be too fast to read anything sinister into it. What you describe - it sounds exactly like some of the things that have happened with difficult child 3. And when he gets roused, he also would be behaving exactly as you describe. The extreme emotion of it in difficult child 3 can have him running a fever, from the degree of anger in him. And yes, threats. 2) With the "who's in the wrong" stuff, I would fall back on Judge Judy's line. "Who started it by making physical contact first?" It's one thing to throw verbal insults. You can always walk away. There is no need to make physical contact unless physical contact has already been made to you and/or you feel that unless you DO make physical contact, you are in greater danger. But if at any time you could have walked away, and did not - then you are in the wrong. Even if someone else is also in the wrong. it is possible for EVERYBODY to be in the wrong. And him wanting to call the police - he clearly didn't see that he had to own some part in the confrontation. My serious suggestion, if you can set it up (maybe with the help of the local police youth liaison, if you have one - we do) is to request mediation between difficult child 2 and M. Have a cop sit down with them both and talk it through. Sometimes kids behave this way even when they're good friends. 3) Blood draws. I hear ya. difficult child 3 HATES blood draws but cooperates. However, his body does not, not readily. He has been lying there (after fainting) so anxious even though he has his arm out ready, that his blood vessels have clamped down so tight the technician can't get a drop out of him. I remember one time the technician had to move to the other arm (a second venepuncture) and even then, only a drop would come out, whenever difficult child 3 breathed out. So we sat there coaching him to breathe, like he was a woman in labour, so eventually they got about 1 ml of blood to do the cross-match needed before surgery. Since then we have used emla cream to lower his anxiety. Technicians don't like emla because it can interfere with the blood vessels (they get too floppy). But if he knows that the emla should stop it hurting (just make sure you put it on an hour ahead of time) then it should make it a more painless event. I also have explained to difficult child 3 that the doctor doesn't ask for blood draws unless there is a very good reason - our national health insurance will penalise doctors who ask for too many tests, so the doctor isn't asking for the tests just to justify his/her existence. One more thing - whenever there are injuries, make good notes and take photos. You may never need them; but you never know. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Worried we're approaching crisis time
Top