Sister in law and or niece were supposed to call me when they got into the area to let me know they arrived safely. They didn't. I'm not irked by that because I also knew they were stopping first at the hospital to see GN. I'm assuming she is in pretty bad shape, most especially since they arrived yesterday........still no call.........and sister in law and I were to go to lunch today, with a call first to set up a time and place to meet. I know they arrived safely because Niece posted on fb........and she is struggling to comfort her daughter and finding the situation overwhelming. So at least I don't have to worry about them being stuck on the road somewhere. (They drove in from Virginia) But it really has me worried about GN's condition. I know none of them would leave her side if they felt she needed them right there with her. I'd call to check on her.......but I'm great aunt.......and well, it's sort of awkwardish if you get my drift. I'm a year older than niece. GN and my kids grew up more as 1st cousins might than 2nd cousins. I think of GN more as just a "niece" than once removed. Yet that is how it is.......and Fred was my tie to that side of the family. Soooo. yeah. And well, hell. GN is most likely a basket case and last thing I want to do is disturb any of them during this very difficult time. They need their time together. GN doesn't get to see them much. I'm sure I'll probably get a call this evening if not before. Our family has skipped flowers. I don't care for flowers for such an occasion. I dunno why but to me they nearly seem absurd. (I know others don't share my views) Instead of flowers Nichole hunted around online for something special. She found a sterling silver heart pendent / necklace that could have the baby's full name and date of birth engraved in it, it comes with a sterling silver keepsake box. Not too much more pricey than flowers, believe it or not, but each of us is going in on the cost. It will give GN something special she can keep forever. I do have the background filled in. Niece had gone in for a normal checkup yesterday. They were going to schedule the c section. But the doctor couldn't find the fetal heart tones. He sent her over to the county hospital for an ultra sound, which explains how she wound up there instead of where easy child works. Ultra sound showed there was no heart beat. The long wait for the sugery was due to GN mental/emotional condition which had evidently shattered. They were waiting for her to be more emotionally/mentally stable before doing the c section. Waiting wasn't an issue for the baby as they were past the point of saving him. doctor told GN and her husband after the surgery that the condition of the baby told them he'd been gone about 2 days. Hard part of that? GN was sure she was still feeling him "move" up until the doctor appointment. doctor had to explain to her that he was such a large baby she was feeling his body float around, not true fetal movements. The last time she saw a doctor prior to this was on Tues. Baby was fine at that point, looked fine on ultrasound. Which means he passed not long after that. I can only imagine what that alone is doing to her. Because I know what that would be doing to me. Does tick me off is it is somewhat standard procedure that if you have a diabetic mom with a fetus who has an excessive weight (I'd say 10 lbs is excessive) they make certain lungs are mature and either induce labor or do a c section right away. I've seen and heard about this being done I don't know how many times. It's a safety measure for the baby. Docs should have stressed that to GN and taken him on Tues when she was already there. I don't understand why they sent her home to come back and make an appointment. A doctor made a seriously bad judgement call. And to further make the situation worse?? (yes, it can get worse I've discovered) My other GN, my nephews daughter (also Fred's side), is due with her 3rd child as well, also a boy. She will be delivered via c section tomorrow morning. Her son has a serious heart condition and will be going into open heart surgery immediately following birth. So nephews wife has come to comfort GN, then will be flying out to Alaska today to go comfort and support her own daughter through what could easily become yet another tragedy for this family. This GN's pregnancy was "iffy" from the time they discovered the serious heart defect.......so to lose the healthy infant of other GN has just kicked their legs out from under them all. GN in Alaska must be utterly terrified now. Prior to this she was a little too over confident that docs could always perform miracles. Know what I mean?? So just sitting here worrying............and of course praying for all of them. This is sort of unreal.