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Would difficult child be better off not staying at my house?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 526589" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You are facing such a difficult decision. Only you can make it, so trust your instincts. This may be a completely different story and forgive me if it is not helpful to you, but I will share my story with you and you can read it and discard it if it doesn't pertain to you at all. I have been raising my 16 year old granddaughter since she was 11. The first 2 years were horrid, she was acting out and taking it out on me. She continually said she didn't want to be with me she wanted to be with her other grandmother in Texas. The other grandmother was forever lobbying to get her to live there with her. I did not want this at all since my opinion was the other grandmother is crazy and not a good role model or an emotionally healthy woman. However, it got so bad and I was so beat up by everyone about it I finally said UNCLE and off she went. I was insane with worry and guilt. My granddaughter and I were estranged for a couple of months, she was very angry at me and I was so guilty because I felt I abandoned her like her dad did with suicide and her mom did with mental illness. I was anguished in every way one can be. Then, after awhile, my granddaughter and I started talking on the phone. Then that increased. We had some really good talks, I addressed why she went and how I felt. The other grandmother was starting to get sick of being a parent to a kid who ended up not wanting to be there. Granddaughter wanted to come home, I let her. When she came home she was a changed kid. I mean changed from the inside out, it still boggles my mind. While away she had what she termed an epiphany, her word. She realized what she had with me, which she only realized when I was out of the picture. She has remained grateful, appreciative, happy to be here and really, a pleasure to be around. To my shock, letting her go ended up being exactly the right thing to do. </p><p></p><p>Of course my granddaughter was 13 when she left and your son is 8. I don't know what is right for you, I only share my experience as a way for you to evaluate your situation with more information. It's a tough call, no matter how you look at it and what you do. My heart goes out to you. How can we possibly know which decision will be the best one for our kids in the long run? And, yet we are continually put in that situation. I hope you find your way and find peace in your choice. Hugs to you and many prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 526589, member: 13542"] You are facing such a difficult decision. Only you can make it, so trust your instincts. This may be a completely different story and forgive me if it is not helpful to you, but I will share my story with you and you can read it and discard it if it doesn't pertain to you at all. I have been raising my 16 year old granddaughter since she was 11. The first 2 years were horrid, she was acting out and taking it out on me. She continually said she didn't want to be with me she wanted to be with her other grandmother in Texas. The other grandmother was forever lobbying to get her to live there with her. I did not want this at all since my opinion was the other grandmother is crazy and not a good role model or an emotionally healthy woman. However, it got so bad and I was so beat up by everyone about it I finally said UNCLE and off she went. I was insane with worry and guilt. My granddaughter and I were estranged for a couple of months, she was very angry at me and I was so guilty because I felt I abandoned her like her dad did with suicide and her mom did with mental illness. I was anguished in every way one can be. Then, after awhile, my granddaughter and I started talking on the phone. Then that increased. We had some really good talks, I addressed why she went and how I felt. The other grandmother was starting to get sick of being a parent to a kid who ended up not wanting to be there. Granddaughter wanted to come home, I let her. When she came home she was a changed kid. I mean changed from the inside out, it still boggles my mind. While away she had what she termed an epiphany, her word. She realized what she had with me, which she only realized when I was out of the picture. She has remained grateful, appreciative, happy to be here and really, a pleasure to be around. To my shock, letting her go ended up being exactly the right thing to do. Of course my granddaughter was 13 when she left and your son is 8. I don't know what is right for you, I only share my experience as a way for you to evaluate your situation with more information. It's a tough call, no matter how you look at it and what you do. My heart goes out to you. How can we possibly know which decision will be the best one for our kids in the long run? And, yet we are continually put in that situation. I hope you find your way and find peace in your choice. Hugs to you and many prayers. [/QUOTE]
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