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would it be easier to homeschool him?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 358985" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What do you do when he sneaks them back? Give up and let him have them? Give him a consequence? Often with boys his age there needs to be some form of physical labor as the consequence. Even if it is just digging a hole, filling it in and digging another one. It is a large part of the puzzle to what has helped my son renounce much of his gfgness. Make him scrub the floor with a scrub brush, scrub a wall, the tub and toilets, whatever. </p><p></p><p>If he is sneaking on the computer, take the keyboard and mouse and lock them up in your room when you go to sleep. Take the game system and lock up the cables, or all the games. </p><p></p><p>What does he do when he is home all day? If he sleeps and you are home, make LOTS of LOUD noises. Even if you have to get earphones for yourself and sit and bang on pots and pans with a wooden spoon. Does he have tv or radio or ipod in his room? Take them away. Take everything away unless he goes to school. Wants the tv?? Go to school and get it back for the afternoon. Skip ANY school and lose everything. Does he care about his clothes? Take them away. Get him seven outfits at a thrift store. Ugliest stuff you can find that fits the school dress code. Lock the other stuff up in a rented storage unit or friend's garage. This includes shoes. One pair of cheap shoes. If he wants clothes he likes? He can have them back after he has gone to school every day and made up all the work he has missed. </p><p></p><p>Does he lock himself in his room? Take the door away. Heck, put a deadbolt on it and lock him OUT of it. Tell him he can sleep on the floor outside his room until he EARNS his room and all his stuff back. Make sure the window is locked.</p><p></p><p>When he sneaks stuff he is challenging you. Step back and look at it like a challenge. If you were a teen, what could your parents do to make you want to behave? I know a parent who's son behaved HORRIBLY in front of his grandma at a special dinner. They ran into the girl this kid liked at Walmart the next day. Dad put his arm around son - looked friendly but was to keep the kid in place. Then said LOUDLY "Did you find the Spiderman underwear you just HAD to have? And how is that rash on your crotch? Is it still all red and sore?" The man had a voice that carried like you would NOT believe. The whole store heard him.</p><p></p><p>Of course the boy was furious and embarrassed and everyone in school heard about it. Dad told the boy that if he embarrassed him again in front of someone he cared about it would just get worse. Being mostly a easy child, the boy shaped up.</p><p></p><p>At almost the height of his gfgness my son would STILL rein it in if my husband said "Barney song". husband told him once that if he acted out and embarrassed us or his sibs in public then husband was going to sing barney songs over the intercom at school - dedicated just to him. The ladies in the school office even used it - they already said they would let husband do it!</p><p></p><p>Those are things that may motivate him. You KNOW him. You know ALL his buttons. Time to start using them to get him to dance to your tune. Talking to him, pleading, bargaining the typical ways, typical discipline are not working. Time to change tactics. Have some FUN with it. NOTHING rattles them more than if you ENJOY what you are doing. Heck, if you like opera, or chanting monks or whatever,play them at home when you want to calm down or feel energized or whatever. For my son, he HATES country. It is so AWESOME because we live in Oklahoma. MOST of the stations play country. So in the car I would listen to what I liked. Or play it at home. If he was saying nasty things to me then I SANG to him. My difficult child hears with perfect pitch. I am tone deaf. Even as an infant he would cry if I sang. I chanted lines from books like Chicka Chicka Boom Boom instead of singing. If he said ugly things to me I sang with the radio. Or sang whatever I wanted to say.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, one of the tricks to dealing with a difficult child is making them uncomfortable and unhappy enough to comply with what you want. They can be happy and comfortable when their actions are making YOU happy, or relatively so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 358985, member: 1233"] What do you do when he sneaks them back? Give up and let him have them? Give him a consequence? Often with boys his age there needs to be some form of physical labor as the consequence. Even if it is just digging a hole, filling it in and digging another one. It is a large part of the puzzle to what has helped my son renounce much of his gfgness. Make him scrub the floor with a scrub brush, scrub a wall, the tub and toilets, whatever. If he is sneaking on the computer, take the keyboard and mouse and lock them up in your room when you go to sleep. Take the game system and lock up the cables, or all the games. What does he do when he is home all day? If he sleeps and you are home, make LOTS of LOUD noises. Even if you have to get earphones for yourself and sit and bang on pots and pans with a wooden spoon. Does he have tv or radio or ipod in his room? Take them away. Take everything away unless he goes to school. Wants the tv?? Go to school and get it back for the afternoon. Skip ANY school and lose everything. Does he care about his clothes? Take them away. Get him seven outfits at a thrift store. Ugliest stuff you can find that fits the school dress code. Lock the other stuff up in a rented storage unit or friend's garage. This includes shoes. One pair of cheap shoes. If he wants clothes he likes? He can have them back after he has gone to school every day and made up all the work he has missed. Does he lock himself in his room? Take the door away. Heck, put a deadbolt on it and lock him OUT of it. Tell him he can sleep on the floor outside his room until he EARNS his room and all his stuff back. Make sure the window is locked. When he sneaks stuff he is challenging you. Step back and look at it like a challenge. If you were a teen, what could your parents do to make you want to behave? I know a parent who's son behaved HORRIBLY in front of his grandma at a special dinner. They ran into the girl this kid liked at Walmart the next day. Dad put his arm around son - looked friendly but was to keep the kid in place. Then said LOUDLY "Did you find the Spiderman underwear you just HAD to have? And how is that rash on your crotch? Is it still all red and sore?" The man had a voice that carried like you would NOT believe. The whole store heard him. Of course the boy was furious and embarrassed and everyone in school heard about it. Dad told the boy that if he embarrassed him again in front of someone he cared about it would just get worse. Being mostly a easy child, the boy shaped up. At almost the height of his gfgness my son would STILL rein it in if my husband said "Barney song". husband told him once that if he acted out and embarrassed us or his sibs in public then husband was going to sing barney songs over the intercom at school - dedicated just to him. The ladies in the school office even used it - they already said they would let husband do it! Those are things that may motivate him. You KNOW him. You know ALL his buttons. Time to start using them to get him to dance to your tune. Talking to him, pleading, bargaining the typical ways, typical discipline are not working. Time to change tactics. Have some FUN with it. NOTHING rattles them more than if you ENJOY what you are doing. Heck, if you like opera, or chanting monks or whatever,play them at home when you want to calm down or feel energized or whatever. For my son, he HATES country. It is so AWESOME because we live in Oklahoma. MOST of the stations play country. So in the car I would listen to what I liked. Or play it at home. If he was saying nasty things to me then I SANG to him. My difficult child hears with perfect pitch. I am tone deaf. Even as an infant he would cry if I sang. I chanted lines from books like Chicka Chicka Boom Boom instead of singing. If he said ugly things to me I sang with the radio. Or sang whatever I wanted to say. Sadly, one of the tricks to dealing with a difficult child is making them uncomfortable and unhappy enough to comply with what you want. They can be happy and comfortable when their actions are making YOU happy, or relatively so. [/QUOTE]
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